Comic: "Final Crisis #1"
Published by: DC Comics
Written by: Grant Morrison
Artist: J.G. Jones

Reviewer: Protoclown
Posted: 6/10/2008

Plot: Your guess is as good as mine at this point.

Review: "What the fuck just happened?"

If you've ever read a Grant Morrison story, you've probably had that reaction before, because if you haven't, that means that you're at least as batshit crazy as he is. The problem with this story is that it's so convoluted with minor characters and esoteric aspects of the DCU mythos that even a longtime DC reader may be confused by some of what's going on, and a mere dabbler or somebody plunging in for the first time will drown in a hurricane of confusion.

But that's kind of how Grant Morrison works, and those of us who've read his work before know that it can be very good, and often rewarding, if you're patient enough to deal with being completely clueless through 75% of the story. Still, with only seven issues to work with on the story that's been billed as "The Lord of the Rings of the DC Universe", one must wonder why he wasted so many pages on grunting cavemen. Even if you know who the cavemen are, his reasons are still a mystery. But I trust that all will be revealed in time, and he's got me interested enough to see where this is all going.

Morrison introduces a new villain named Libra who's put together a new Secret Society of Super Villains, many of whom don't seem too impressed with his promises to "fulfill their heart's desire", until he actually does what most villains fail to do, and stops pontificating and actually kills a well-loved DC character. Which is probably the only way we'll take this hooded doofus and his "scales staff" seriously.

J.G. Jones's artwork is as phenomenal as you'd expect if you're familiar with his work, but unfortunately it's contained behind two of the ugliest cover options I've ever seen. If DC is trying to make this book stand out on the shelf, consider this a success, but if they're trying to make it look appealing, they have botched miserably.
I'm giving this three pickles, but with serious reservations. I know how Morrison stories tend to play out so I have faith that everything will all come together at some point, so that high rating is predicated on my expectation that this is a road that's taking us somewhere. Should that not be the case, I'd have to knock this down a pickle or two.

Overall rating: WholeWholeWhole
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

Amicable Herculean
Jun 11th, 2008, 12:00 AM
Yeah the first issue wasn't too great, but I'm willing to give the series another chance or two. I hear #2 is going to have a Japanese Justice League(seen in the Final Crisis sketchbook).
The Goddamned Batman
Jun 11th, 2008, 12:33 AM
Yeah, Grant Morrison stories are really hard to judge based on the first chapter, since they're kind of built in such a way that you're MEANT to be confused as fuck for a while.
Jun 11th, 2008, 02:00 AM
I'm not that deep into comics, but... Isn't that villian Libra part of that crime organization named Zodiac in the Marvel Universe?
Forum Virgin
Jun 11th, 2008, 03:01 AM
Grant Morrison's greatest opus, was of course Zenith in 2000AD.
Scruffy drunken Brit
Jun 11th, 2008, 05:30 AM
I have no intention of reading this, but I fucking love the opening sentence of the review.

Grant IS fucking insane.
Last of the Time Lords
Jun 11th, 2008, 04:30 PM
I want Morrison to team up with Miller at some point. Either the force of their colossal egos colliding will rend the cosmos in twain, or the end result will be a story so completely insane that owning an issue of it will get you brought up on narcotics charges.
Jun 17th, 2008, 04:21 AM
I do hope this is the final Crisis.