Weeklies

Movie: "A Christmas Story"
Year: 1983
Rated: G
Genre: Comedy
Directed by: Bob Clark
Writing credits: Jean Shepard, Leigh Brown, Bob Clark

Reviewer: Dr. Boogie
Posted: 12/7/2008

Plot: Ralphie Parker and his family have a series of misadventures around the Christmas season. Highlights include a saucy lamp, a pack of ravenous hounds, and an incident involving a tongue and a flagpole.

Review: My own Christmas stories as a kid were fairly far removed from the late 30s/early 40s events laid out in the movie, but that didn’t make the movie any less fun to watch.

We all know what it’s like to have in mind that one thing you wanted for Christmas. Mine was always video games rather than toy firearms, but the principle is the same. You want something so bad that you put undue focus on it, even in the face of rejection by your parents, all because you think that good ol’ Santa Claus will hook you up. But Ralpie even gets shut down by Santa, and a frightening, surreal kind of Santa and his cranky elves to boot.

As a kid, I could relate to Ralphie because I had no idea what “you’ll shoot your eye out” even meant. Did people think he was going to look down the barrel and somehow fire a shot directly into his eye? Was he going to play William Tell with a near-sighted friend? I had no ideas about ricochets and such. Oh, but Ralphie played it off with a brilliant ruse about falling icicles. The kid was an inspiration to all childhood liars.

And then there was the flagpole scene. Who hadn’t thought about that old story prior to seeing this movie? Well, seeing the results portrayed in the film (accompanied by a lot of annoying screaming) was enough to keep me from doing anything that stupid on my own time.

And cursing. Even as an adult, Ralphie is compelled to say “F-dash-dash-dash” instead of actually dropping an f-bomb. And you knew exactly what he was going through because everyone’s dad has a bit of a cursing problem. It’s just a byproduct of life in the modern world.

Even as an adult, I still enjoy this movie. TNT has a fairly new tradition of showing the movie back to back for 24 hours straight on Christmas Day, and I could almost stand to watch it twice or more in a single sitting.

Overall rating: WholeWholeWholeWhole
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

40 pound box of rape?
Dec 8th, 2008, 05:15 AM
TBS used to do 24 hour showings of it on Christmas day. For all I know they still do, but I don't get TBS anymore. It must just be in Atlantic Canada that in place of TBS, we're getting some fruity channel called "Peachtree TV". Trashy sitcoms galore, and they don't even own the rights to ACS, so they can't play it
Clap if you love Dynamo
Dec 8th, 2008, 06:11 AM
Not a finger!
Last of the Time Lords
Dec 8th, 2008, 07:53 AM
This is on my list of Christmas movies and specials I must watch every year lest the magic of childhood permanently abandon me. It's a fairly long list, actually. Apparently the magic of childhood is spoiled rotten.
1.21 Gigawatts!!!
Dec 8th, 2008, 09:25 AM
One of my favorite parts in the movie is when he was waiting in line for Santa. There is this freaky kid who keeps staring at him spouting “I like the Wizard of Oz. I like the Tinman”, while Ralphie stares at him like he is psycho.

His kid brother Randy is funny in his own right as well. From claiming every present as “mine”, to inventively eating his food, drinking milk under the sink, and getting way overdressed to go outside (though that is kind of his mothers fault).
is hopped up on goofballs
Dec 8th, 2008, 11:42 AM
This movie is the only good thing about Christmas.

"Whoopie a Zeppelin!!"
Pickled Patriarch
Dec 8th, 2008, 01:31 PM
DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HORRY, RA RA RA RA RA, RA RA RA RA!
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Dec 8th, 2008, 01:35 PM
Somehow... somehow... I've yet to see this movie. I'm not sure why, it's just one of those things I never get around to (plus there's usually a M*A*S*H marathon around Christmas that draws my attention from it being played on TV).

Yeah, I need to get one this. I'm essentially an incomplete person for not having seen it.
The Power of Grayskull
Dec 8th, 2008, 01:38 PM
Does this movie even need to be reviewed? I feel like it is not unlike any other appendage on the human body. We are each born with it's knowledge, and instinctually know what it is, and how to love it. I remember waking up one day suddenly being fully aware of this movie, and realizing it's vast greatness, much like waking up one morning when you're 13, and suddenly understanding fully what your penis is for.

It's that awesome.
The face of trapped wind.
Dec 8th, 2008, 02:21 PM
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. All that work for a crummy commercial. Son of a bitch.

I wish decoder rings were still the cat's meow.
I miss them.
Member
Dec 8th, 2008, 04:39 PM
I hated that movie, sorry to be the voice of total opposition but I hated it, the only person I liked was the father figure and everyone else pissed me off, the kid was whiny and stupid and the mother was over protective and annoying

and the teacher should have given the kid an A for his paper, he was honest for crying out loud!
100% Regulator
Dec 8th, 2008, 05:38 PM
I love love love this movie!
Member
Dec 9th, 2008, 12:08 AM
It is by far the best live aciton christmas movie of all time. It's A Wonderful Life can suck it because A christmas Story is wya better. I mean look at the morals.... one tells you that you are more important than you think you are, which as we all know is a total lie! The other moral is far more sensible... if you pester people and complain enough you'll eventually get what you want, which of course is totally true! As a bonus sub-moral, we learn that if you fake cry and lie you can keep from getting into trouble, also totally true!

The christmas story, like a charlie brown christmas, strips away all the pretend crap out xmas and gets to the core of the fact that it it going to be pretty terrible and th eonly thing that can save the season is a pure act of kindness or love. Unlike charlie brown, xmas story manages to put some laugh out loud humor in there as well, and avoids the whole jesus preaching aspect as well.

I honestly don't know how anyone could dislike this film.
Member
Dec 9th, 2008, 12:18 AM
Yeah... I didn't see this movie when I was young, so maybe that was a factor. But I saw it for the first time a couple years ago and was noooot amused. I'm also not into Charlie Brown. meh
Member
Dec 9th, 2008, 12:46 AM
Quote:
LadyMage: I hated that movie, sorry to be the voice of total opposition but I hated it, the only person I liked was the father figure and everyone else pissed me off, the kid was whiny and stupid and the mother was over protective and annoying

and the teacher should have given the kid an A for his paper, he was honest for crying out loud!
I second it, so you're not alone, Ladymage. I just...can't...stand this movie. I don't see the draw to it. Never have and never will.

Quote:
But Ralpie even gets shut down by Santa, and a frightening, surreal kind of Santa and his cranky elves to boot.
And I think this is part of the reason. When I was younger, this was the *only* scene of the movie that I saw and it bothered the hell out of me. You wanna talk scarred for life, I think that did it.

Quote:
Well, seeing the results portrayed in the film (accompanied by a lot of annoying screaming) was enough to keep me from doing anything that stupid on my own time.
Try being in a retail setting with that scene on a nearby portable DVD player, Outkast's "Hey ya" video playing on the overhead TVs, and a bevy of screaming children running around your store.

All I wanted for Christmas was to be medicated *laughs*
pickled
Dec 9th, 2008, 04:58 AM
I just recently watched this for the first time. I absolutely love it.
King of the Monsters
Dec 9th, 2008, 10:59 AM
It's a good story, and funny, and it is pretty darn close to portraying the worldview of a kid's mindset.
Forum Virgin
Dec 9th, 2008, 08:55 PM
RIP Bob Clark
The Magnificent Bastard
Dec 10th, 2008, 12:53 AM
It just ain't Christmas without this movie!
Forum Virgin
Dec 10th, 2008, 07:13 PM
My entire family watches this movie EVERy chance we can. We all have it on VHS and DVD. I also have it as part of my Itunes libary.

There are 4 of us plus spouses, parents, kids ect. when we gather together for chirstmas THIS movie is on the whole time.

We bought my mother the Leg lamp and that is now our "tree"
Full of Country Goodness
Dec 10th, 2008, 09:50 PM
Quote:
Not a finger!
You use all the glue on purpose!
1.21 Gigawatts!!!
Dec 12th, 2008, 05:29 PM
Here is a funny link that gives a 30 second summary of the film:

http://www.angryalien.com/aa/xmas_storybuns.asp
aint nobody
Dec 13th, 2008, 06:06 PM
Quote:
You use all the glue on purpose!
SONS A BITCHES! BUMPASES!
Importer/Exporter
Dec 14th, 2008, 09:20 PM
Fra-gee-lay.
The Ugly Puckling
Dec 14th, 2008, 10:44 PM
I too dislike this movie, but I just dislike most live action Christmas movies, with the exception of the greatest Christmas movie ever made, which is never mentioned in the same breath as Christmas movies...


Swimming With Sharks!



Literally one of the best movies ever made period, it's also the best Christmas movie, although not much of it actually takes place around Christmas, it's felt throughout the entire movie and it preaches the one true message of Christmas "In the rat race of Life, it's important to take time to unwind." which is the entire point of the entire holiday season, beyond making the companies money.