Weeklies

Movie: "Friday The 13th (2009)"
Year: 2009
Rated: R
Genre: Horror
Directed by: Marcus Nispel
Writing credits: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift, Mark Wheaton

Reviewer: -RoG-
Posted: 6/11/2009

Plot: Jason Voorhees attacks more idiotic teens at Camp Crystal Lake in this new Friday the 13th which borrows elements of the first three films.

Review: I'm always glad to see a new movie about one of my old childhood horror heroes pop up, and whenever Jason Voorhees comes to the big screen, it usually means we can expect some highly entertaining kills at the very least. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case with this latest installment of the Friday the 13th series which is basically a modern hodgepodge of the original three films along with some new elements. So, I guess I'll go ahead and get the good stuff out of the way since there's not a whole lot of it.

First off, Derek Mears does indeed do an admirable job of filling Jason's big shoes. He's larger than life on the screen and really puts his entire body into every hack with his machete. Amanda Righetti also does a fine job as the heroine of the film. She's not the toughest one we've ever seen, but that's just how her character was written. She could obviously pull it off if asked to, which is more than I can say for most of the cast.

And that pretty much does it for the good things about the flick. So what didn't I like? Is "everything else" not descriptive enough? Ok, well let me bring up a few of my major complaints.

My biggest problem with the movie is that there really weren't any highly memorable kills. If there's one thing that's kept audiences dying to see more of these flicks, it's the creative ways in which they've had Jason kill people. Should you be one of the poor souls who isn't familiar with some of Jason's homicidal handiwork, I suggest you check out my list of Jason's Ten Best Kills. Anyway, this movie was really lacking in creative kill category. The only kill that even gave me a slight chuckle was the water skiing girl under the dock (I won't spoil it, but those of you who've seen the movie know what I'm talking about).

A kill I will spoil, however, is the one of the guy driving the speed boat who gets an arrow shot through his head from far away. Since when is Jason a long-range archery expert? Sorry, but that one may have been his lamest kill in the history of the Friday the 13th franchise. Seeing him standing in the woods with a bow & arrow set just looked wrong.

Another kill I had a problem with was when he shoves a girl who recently had sex (of course) up against a deer head on a wall using its antlers to kill her. That's all fine and dandy, but we saw that same exact kill in a far more spectacular fashion back in 1984 in Silent Night, Deadly Night. If it was an obscure movie, I'd understand them maybe doing that kill, but come on... that movie is really well known and anybody writing a Friday the 13th film should be well versed in the history of slasher films so they don't repeat any kills.

Another thing I didn't enjoy was how Jason also now has chains tied to bells around the old campsite which alert him to when new teenagers have arrived? Call me crazy, but I always enjoyed the mystique of Jason in the old Friday the 13th films. You know how no matter where a person would hide, he'd somehow "know" that they were there and would find some brutal way to kill them? I loved that about him just as I loved how he could walk at his own leisurely pace and keep up with a person running for his or her life. I understand the writers wanting to show people some new sides of the Jason Voorhees character, but in doing so, they shouldn't kill off some of the mystery that made people so interested in him to begin with.

I won't tell you guys not to see the movie, because when it comes to horror movie series like Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween and a few others... I'll always continue to check them out no matter how bad they get. You never know, they might get one of 'em right at some point. Hell, this new Friday the 13th movie should've been right since they had all the classic ingredients: a Camp Crystal Lake setting, Jason angry as ever, sex, drugs and plenty of young characters who you want to see die in highly creative ways. Unfortunately, the movie falls way flat, so here's hoping they get it right with the next one.

Overall rating: WholeWhole
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

☆☆☆☆☆
Jun 11th, 2009, 03:41 PM
Are you saying that they tried to humanize Jason?
Last of the Time Lords
Jun 11th, 2009, 03:47 PM
I hated this one. It's even worse than Jason Takes Manhattan.
Member
Jun 11th, 2009, 05:38 PM
Best line?

"Where the fuck are you, GUN?!"
Pickled Patriarch
Jun 11th, 2009, 06:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor_Who View Post
I hated this one. It's even worse than Jason Takes Manhattan.
Huh? I loved Jason Takes Manhattan. It was so ridiculous and comical it made for a really amusing flick. Wish I could say the same for this latest flick.


How can you not love moments like that?
Force of Insanity
Jun 11th, 2009, 06:24 PM
What I always wanted to know, was why Jason seemed to be growing a secret stash of weed in his forest. And hunted down the kids who came anywhere near it. So his motives were less about his mother, and more about protecting his stash?
the axe and the smasher
Jun 11th, 2009, 06:57 PM
I enjoyed the movie on the basis that it was in the same vein as the older films. Much more so than the New Line Jason movies. Aside from that, the bow and arrow scene didn't bother me so much as his mother had killed a guy that way in the original film. Same with the running, jason ran a little in the earlier movies and this was a remake of the first three. So I just scratched that off. My biggest gripe was, however, Jason's evil lair. While sure he had that shack in part 2, the whole tunnels and stuff just threw me off. While it wasn't a classic by any means, it was still in the classic Friday the 13th vein. Which gave it points for me.
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Jun 11th, 2009, 07:46 PM
I actually really enjoyed this one (or at least, mostly enjoyed it), mainly because I'm more OK with the faults so many bring up. I think a new, more-human look at Jason is a good thing. We've had a dozen or so movies about him already, most of them (the good ones, at least) with him as some supernatural zombie. Showing him back when he was a sort of crazed woodsmen defending his territory, getting pissed when people invade his area, and retaining some skills from when he was a kid (he's been a pretty good shot in the other movies as well, though usually he's just throing things), that's all good stuff in my opinion.

I do admit the kills could've been more creative (and in several instances, more painful. Honestly, the Prick seemed to get off light), but at least the ones that are there are solid and grisly. Axe shoved through someone's back may not be the most memorable method dispatch around, but it's still an axe shoved through someone's back. Got some guts to it.

One thing that really bothered me, though, was something I should probably spoiler (in length):

Spoilers!


Apart from that thing (annoying as it was, that's at least a whole point off the overall movie), I liked it. I rank it somewhere towards the upper-middle of the series overall, and can't wait for the next one (really hope they bring Derek Mears back, he was an excellent Jason. He can stand proud next to C.J. Graham and Kane Hodder in my book)
lurking on the walls
Jun 11th, 2009, 10:57 PM
It seemed that in parts of the movie.... Jason had unusial speed... one second he was on a cabin roof, when only seconds before he was kiling someone outside of an old shed.... As for the Bell thing... saw the same thing in "See No Evil" starring Kain as the killer. Jason seems more like a hunter and stalker killer, not a guy who wants to be left alone.... although the ending was a tribute if you ask me.
lurking on the walls
Jun 11th, 2009, 11:00 PM
If you know the Horror movie rules if survival, you'd be able to pick out who'll live and who'll die rather early in the movies.... Same with this movie. Jason Takes Manhatton was bad, but I did enjoy it,as odd as it sounds it made more sense than Friday the 13th 7 where he's fighting a girl with telekenetic powers

oh, someone made this vid, the editing was nicely done http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjW5Zsf06j4

and when can we see a review on the Freddy Vs Jason Vs Ash comics? I'll send them somehow if I could
pickled
Jun 12th, 2009, 04:09 AM
It can't be worst than Jason Goes to Hell or Jason X.
Member
Jun 12th, 2009, 08:16 AM
The guy who directed this might be the shittiest slasher flick director of all time, some creepy molestache wearing Aussie who likes to expose his chest hair in interviews. The last scene when Jason is supposed to be getting sucked into a wood chipper, I KNEW nothing was going to happen, I knew it was going to stop short. If anyone else made the movie Jason would have come alive and shoved the male lead head first through it. This movie had great cinematography, making it seem even more less like a Friday movie. Another typical horror remake: not enough balls for quality gore scenes and apparently written by/for retards. I dunno, I still can't get behind any of these remakes.
SKATASTIC
Jun 12th, 2009, 12:24 PM
ROG: I'm with you that the kills weren't that memorable compared to the kills of yesteryear but this is also the "first" in a new series. The reason why they had such ridiculous awesome kills later on was they had to push boundries. Later on if the remakes continue they'll wind up brutal and gory I'm sure.
Pickled Patriarch
Jun 12th, 2009, 02:49 PM
Yep, that's what I'm hoping for, and like I said, Mears did a fine job as Jason and I hope they'll stick with him for future installments of the Friday the 13th series.
lurking on the walls
Jun 12th, 2009, 04:21 PM
I can't wait to see what they'll do next.... I wonder if thry'll attempt another 3D after the last mishap they had with Jason in 3d. Eyeball on a strong, and random acts of guys juggling. although the spear headed at the camera was cool in it
With More Yes Than Ever
Jun 12th, 2009, 05:56 PM
I can't wait for the next one, as this one was fantastic. I enjoyed most of the characters, as I thought the hokey stereotypes were amusing to see in 2009. Best slasher movie of the year other than My Bloody Valentine. I wish that it was longer though, the extended cut is still less than 2 hours :/
King of the Monsters
Jun 12th, 2009, 10:21 PM
Yet another lame remake. Nuff said.
Vigilante All-Star
Jun 13th, 2009, 05:10 AM
I actually enjoyed the reboot when I saw it...but the kill for Mr. "your breasts are stupendous" made the least amount of sense to me...it was like Jason had an unknown tag team partner for it or something...
Jack Burton, Me!
Jun 13th, 2009, 08:46 AM
I also noticed there were more boobs than in any of the other films. So it felt like watching a porno at times.
Member
Jun 13th, 2009, 04:46 PM
I enjoyed the film when I watched it. I don't have high standards when it comes to Jason flicks. The kills were on the lame side and the whole bit about Jason's underground lair complete with bells really betrayed a cardinal rule about horror movies (DON'T SHOW THE MONSTER TOO MUCH!!!!). I half expected Jason to drop onto a sofa and watch a football game.
Forum Virgin
Jun 13th, 2009, 09:20 PM
I disagree, I liked the movie. I will agree with Rog on 2 things about the movie. 1) I didn't like Jason's little alarm system. 2) I felt most of the kills were just ok. The chick getting hung to the antlers was clearly un original, and when Jason killed the asain guy who gave him the hockey stick, Jason should've used the hockey stick to kill him. I do disagree with what Rog said about Jason killing the guy on the boat with a bow and arrow. I personally found it to be an ok kill, but that kill was like that one kill in part 3 where Jason used a spear gun to kill the chick on a dock. In all good slasher films the killer doesn't heavily rely on one weapon one method. Freddy Krueger seldomly used his glove, Jason would'nt always use his machete, and in My Bloody Valentine Harry Warden (in both movies) mostly used his pick axe to do the killings but he would use his axe in several different ways to do the killings. So the same principle applies to the killing on the boat, it goes to show that no matter where you are in Crystal Lake you are not safe from Jason.
Overall I enjoyed it, I thought it was much better than Jason goes to Hell and better than part 5. I'd give the movie more of a 4/5. It lacked on having as good of the kills as part 2 and 6, but It also delivered on some of the stuff the series did best the nudity and the humor.
Member
Jun 14th, 2009, 12:23 AM
I'm still trying to figure out why they do remakes of horror movies with a million sequels. Wouldn't it just make more sense to do yet another sequel? I mean horror movies aren't exactly known for their continuity anyway and this way we can skip the boring origin film and get right to the good stuff. And if you say that it can't be done or that it doesn't allow for enough creative freedom I'll promptly direct you to the two "chucky" films. They have virtually nothing to do with the first three childs play films, contain totally re-designed creatures and a new plot and yet they are still merely sequels. This allowed for a lot of freedom and yet kept the original plot and mythos intact, allowing it to be drawn upon in the future.

Sadly, I hear they are now going to throw Childs Play under the remake train. I suppose it could be worse, they could be re-making highly character driven films like nightmare on elm street in which the actor portraying the villian literally IS the villian and cannot be played by anyone else. ..... Oh wait.... :-(
☆☆☆☆☆
Jun 14th, 2009, 12:25 AM
The place is a camp for kids right? They have things like archery haystacks. I bet Jason practiced his archery during the off seasons.
SPOOOOOOOON!!!
Jun 14th, 2009, 04:42 PM
First off, I have to say that I agree with ROG about Jason Takes Manhattan. That movie was fucking great, it was just more of a comedy than a horror, sort of like a keyed-down version of Club Dread. Second, I walked out on this movie, and I've only done that once before (The Crow: City of Angels was the first). I wanted to see new, more inventive kills, and I got nothing except lots and lots of boobs. If I want lots of boobs, I'll watch a damn porno. Oh, and by the way, JASON SHOULDN'T TAKE PRISONERS! EVER! That was when I left. Just on a side note though (and I'm not trying to bash saturnknight here), I though the Freddy vs Jason vs Ash comic was HORRIBLE, but maybe that's just me.
Forum Virgin
Jun 15th, 2009, 02:06 AM
Usually I like to look at remakes as stand alone movies and judge accordingly (which by the way, isn't deluding enough to excuse the travesty that Rob Zombie dared to call Halloween), but Friday the 13th VI was the first horror movie I ever saw, and the series has been my favorite ever since, so I didn't cut this one the usual slack. Having said that, I actually enjoyed this one enough to support a sequel, mostly because it had an excellent Jason and managed to stay more true to the original psyche than any (recent) remake I know of. Truth be told, I wasn't really bothered by the lair or the prisoner, and he ran a bit early on so that was forgivable, all I had a problem with was the alert system. Granted while he's still alive it'd make sense to take further measure to preserve said state, but this is Jason, since when does he worry about this?
Oh, almost forgot, it should be noted that the first film wasn't messed with, it was really only noted at the beginning to give som background, THAT should be a company standard in remakes
Ba dum dum dum dum
Jun 15th, 2009, 07:34 AM
I keep waiting for them to flip one of the Horror movie champions. By which I mean, do like they did with Godzilla. There's tons of movies where Godzilla (In all his Tokyo Destroying Glory) is the good guy fighting off some evil force.

They should make some absurd movie where the military like, captures Jason and dispatches him into the middle east to take down some facist dictator.
Stonehendge angry :( RARR
Jun 17th, 2009, 12:30 AM
I can't believe that some people think that jason is more meanacing when he's running.
Give Me Black Summer.
Jun 17th, 2009, 05:08 PM
Jason Running=No. Nonononono.

Jason in this movie is just Leatherface, -mask, +hockey mask, -chainsaw, -watchablity. This is the only Friday movie I've ever seen that I got bored watching.
Forum Virgin
Jun 18th, 2009, 09:02 AM
The first 20 minutes were great.....the rest of the film was easily forgettable.
Stonehendge angry :( RARR
Jun 18th, 2009, 12:43 PM
I know this might be a bit irrelevent, but they're making a remake of Nightmare on elm street with Jackie Earle Haley (The guy who played Rorschach in the watchmen movie) playing the role of Freddy Kreuger
Pickled Patriarch
Jun 18th, 2009, 04:02 PM
He was awesome as Rorschach, but I honestly don't think anybody else should play Freddy. Unlike the silent killers such as Jason Voorhees & Michael Myers, Freddy has real personality and you can't just have anybody play him. I hope Earle does a good job, but I don't envy anybody who has the task of filling Robert Englund's shoes. As much as I love Elm Street, that's a series I think they should let die once Englund is done with it. I hope they prove me wrong with the remake, but I'm certainly not counting on it.

Anyway, in regards to Jason holding a prisoner in the new movie, yeah that was pretty absurd. Here's the real question it brought up for me: if that necklace she was wearing confused him and really made him think she was his mother, there's no way in hell he would keep her chained up. He'd either let her go because he thought she was mom or he'd chop her to bits because he realized she was an impostor. Jason is definitely not the kind of guy who keeps somebody chained up because he wants some company.
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Jun 18th, 2009, 10:06 PM
I really didn't get that either, seemed like a lame way to keep the sister alive (which was itself a cop out, just kill her already. It's not like the characters aren't interchangeable anyway, no one would notice). And I think running Jason works (for a pre-Zombie form, at least), gives him a cool crazed woodsman feel. Which is pretty much what he is when he's still human.

Also, word from the makers is that they'll try to have more creative kills in the next sequel: http://www.chud.com/articles/article...ACE/Page1.html (near the bottom).
Riot Control
Jun 19th, 2009, 09:57 PM
Then again, I have never seen any of the films of this horror saga.
Sex Panther
Jun 21st, 2009, 11:19 PM
I agree. Jason just isn't the type to have an alarm system or take prisoners. Making him more human is a bad idea. Jason is supposed to be inhuman. And while it's true he was once, the human part of him is rather dead. If anything, Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger are known for their inventive, gory, and sometimes hilarious kills. Killing a chick by jamming a party horn in her eye, or turning a chick into a roach and squishing her in a roach motel? Priceless.
Forum Virgin
Jun 24th, 2009, 03:11 AM
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5 was much better.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_..._The_Toy_Maker