Movie: "Friday The 13th (2009)"
Directed by: Marcus Nispel
Writing credits: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift, Mark Wheaton
Plot: Jason Voorhees attacks more idiotic teens at Camp Crystal Lake in this new Friday the 13th which borrows elements of the first three films.
Review: I'm always glad to see a new movie about one of my old childhood horror heroes pop up, and whenever Jason Voorhees comes to the big screen, it usually means we can expect some highly entertaining kills at the very least. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case with this latest installment of the Friday the 13th series which is basically a modern hodgepodge of the original three films along with some new elements. So, I guess I'll go ahead and get the good stuff out of the way since there's not a whole lot of it.
First off, Derek Mears does indeed do an admirable job of filling Jason's big shoes. He's larger than life on the screen and really puts his entire body into every hack with his machete. Amanda Righetti also does a fine job as the heroine of the film. She's not the toughest one we've ever seen, but that's just how her character was written. She could obviously pull it off if asked to, which is more than I can say for most of the cast.
And that pretty much does it for the good things about the flick. So what didn't I like? Is "everything else" not descriptive enough? Ok, well let me bring up a few of my major complaints.
My biggest problem with the movie is that there really weren't any highly memorable kills. If there's one thing that's kept audiences dying to see more of these flicks, it's the creative ways in which they've had Jason kill people. Should you be one of the poor souls who isn't familiar with some of Jason's homicidal handiwork, I suggest you check out my list of Jason's Ten Best Kills. Anyway, this movie was really lacking in creative kill category. The only kill that even gave me a slight chuckle was the water skiing girl under the dock (I won't spoil it, but those of you who've seen the movie know what I'm talking about).
A kill I will spoil, however, is the one of the guy driving the speed boat who gets an arrow shot through his head from far away. Since when is Jason a long-range archery expert? Sorry, but that one may have been his lamest kill in the history of the Friday the 13th franchise. Seeing him standing in the woods with a bow & arrow set just looked wrong.
Another kill I had a problem with was when he shoves a girl who recently had sex (of course) up against a deer head on a wall using its antlers to kill her. That's all fine and dandy, but we saw that same exact kill in a far more spectacular fashion back in 1984 in Silent Night, Deadly Night. If it was an obscure movie, I'd understand them maybe doing that kill, but come on... that movie is really well known and anybody writing a Friday the 13th film should be well versed in the history of slasher films so they don't repeat any kills.
Another thing I didn't enjoy was how Jason also now has chains tied to bells around the old campsite which alert him to when new teenagers have arrived? Call me crazy, but I always enjoyed the mystique of Jason in the old Friday the 13th films. You know how no matter where a person would hide, he'd somehow "know" that they were there and would find some brutal way to kill them? I loved that about him just as I loved how he could walk at his own leisurely pace and keep up with a person running for his or her life. I understand the writers wanting to show people some new sides of the Jason Voorhees character, but in doing so, they shouldn't kill off some of the mystery that made people so interested in him to begin with.
I won't tell you guys not to see the movie, because when it comes to horror movie series like Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween and a few others... I'll always continue to check them out no matter how bad they get. You never know, they might get one of 'em right at some point. Hell, this new Friday the 13th movie should've been right since they had all the classic ingredients: a Camp Crystal Lake setting, Jason angry as ever, sex, drugs and plenty of young characters who you want to see die in highly creative ways. Unfortunately, the movie falls way flat, so here's hoping they get it right with the next one.
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)
I hated this one. It's even worse than Jason Takes Manhattan.
|Spoilers!||Jason taking a prisoner = what? Doesn't make much sense at all, that's just not his style. I suppose it's possible that Jason could've mistaken her for his mother, since he's done that several times before. Of course, in every one of those times, the encounter was over in a few seconds, not this six weeks business. Then maybe it's because she had that locket and that always slows him down, but in the movie it makes it seem like he's seeing it on her for the first time. There just wasn't any good reason for her to be down there at all (from Jason's perspective I mean).
The way I see it, it would've worked if she was killed from the get go and the corpse stored down there. Then, when the brother and that one girl (it's a Friday the 13th movie, so forgive me for not knowing their names) were going through the cabin, one of them could've fallen through the trap door (instead of being lured down with screaming). They wander about, find the corpse, brother has a tearful reunion, they run to escape Jason (who has a near miss with his machete instead of getting the girl through the chest), and the rest of the movie plays out the same way it did (just with the girl in place of the sister). Just would've made more sense for everyone involved in my opinion.
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