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"Join PETA. Travel To Exotic Places And Meet
Beautiful People."
Ear Biting? Are these music shows or Mike Tyson
fights? What the hell is going on in the music world? For crissakes! The poor
bastard can't even hold onto the mic without someone yanking it away. Leave the
bands alone people! Damnit!
Hemorrhoids Are A Bitch.
Whoah Duuude! I'm like a surfer and I got stoned
off my ass on the beach man! Whoahhh... now I'm all sun burned and stuff. Wait a
minute, how'd I get here man? Last thing I remember was havin' a little 'toke
and I just woke up here on this stage. Duuude! This is soooo gnarly! I feel like
I'm flying! Duuude!!!!
Ever wonder why you never see the faces of most
Metal musicians? It's because as soon as they put their head down the first
time, they can't bring it back up. Why? Because their hair gets caught in the
strings. So they generally play the entire show with their heads down. This is
how head-banging came about. They would shake their heads up and down trying to
get their hair untangled from the guitar strings, but it never works. Maybe some
hairspray could solve the problem.
"Has anybody seen my left arm? Anyone?"
I'm not quite sure how the hell it happened. Must have been a crazy show!
Our portly fellow here decided it took too much energy to stand up and sing his
woos and woes. "I'd better sit down and sing, I'm famished!" Look, if
yer gonna be a lead singer at least have the energy to standup and sing. Christ,
look at that John Popper guy from Blues Traveler. He's not exactly a shining
example of what Richard Simmons can do for you, but he stands up while he sings
and plays the hell out of that bastard harmonica of his. Stand up or take up the
clarinet.
(thanks to "XnendeX" xnendex@mail.dma.be
for some of the pics on this page!)
Go For The Gold And
TAKE WINKY'S QUESTIONNAIRE!
Onto the
next page of hate!
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