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Title: Mike Tyson's Punchout (4th Review)
Author:Nintendo
Rom Player: NESticle
Reviewer: Daniel Emerson
Synopsis: Ahh, you all remember the days. I just get a tear in my eye reminiscing... or maybe it's that cigarette in my mouth that's burnt down to the butt. Anyhoo, what we have here is a game that became one of Nintendo's lesser used but still strong franchises: THE PUNCH OUT GAMES! Of course, this is Mike Tyson's involvement notwithstanding. Because he had NOTHING to do with Super Punch Out for Super NES, and we can only thank God, as by this time he would've been fucking your children while you watched and biting off their ears.
You start off as puny pugilist Little Mac. Who decided to make this guy a professional boxer, I have no idea, because Mac is built like Peter Parker, before he ever became (WAH NA NA!) The Amazing Spider-Man. But of course, no one likes a loser; otherwise, your playable character would be the first opponent, a surly wuss by the name of Glass Joe. Of course the difficulty is ramped up considerably as you go, eventually to the Dream Bout with Mr. "God Please Don't Hurt Me" Tyson, who will whup your sorry Little Mac ass the first few go-rounds. Kinda makes you wish Doc had made you do more training than just jogging on the password screen, don'tcha?
The Graphics for this game are top-notch (well, as top-notch as NES can possibly be, but what were you expecting, a Disney cartoon?) but what the sprites have in detail, they lack in animation. A small sacrifice though, as the details are wonderful in all their cartoonishness.
A frequent member of I-Mockery.com, a Mr. Soda Popinski, has bribed... err, REMINDED me to tell you that he is featured in this game, and reminds you to bring all your skills, 'you stupid lazy American!'
Sounds are quite below average though, as you WILL get pretty damn annoyed with the SAME old damn music for EVERY fight, the only difference being the entrance themes, which immediately afterwards, Nintendo's Mario (how the hell many jobs does this asshole HAVE?) will start the fight and the monotonous music. You'd think the Dream Bout with Tyson would have "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" or more appropriately, "Smells Like Children" from Marilyn Manson (hey, he threatened to eat them!) in the background. But then again this WAS the 80's.
Overall, though, a great game, a great way to kill an hour (unless you really suck) and a great way to feel better about yourself because you and I both know that Tyson would beat your ass in real life. >accepts more bribes<
Best Cheats: Wanna jump straight to the Tyson fight? You think you got the BALLS? Then punch in this "key":
007 373 5963. Good luck, son, and may the Force be with you.
Game Play: 8
Graphics: 8
Music/Sound: 5
Originality: 9
Overall Rating: 8
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