Bio Info: A descendant of descendants, -RoG- has ascended to the Internet to spread the joys of making loving mockeries of just about anything he can get his hands on. He's big into toys, 80's nostalgia, cheesy movies, video games, Halloween and blue food products such as Boo Berry.
Having made many successful games already, he also has a dream of starting up his own video game company so he can make a living by creating absurdist games galore for the masses to enjoy. He also likes filming videos.
-RoG- currently works on I-Mockery as a pickle-powered goggle-wearing internet humorist superhero. SPIFFY.
Name: John Bower (aka: Dr. Boogie)
Bio Info: When he's not busy putting his lightning gun in water, Dr. Boogie can be found stealing coins from the fountain in the mall. When in danger, he can cast Cloudkill on anyone nearby with the flip of his wrist. A miniature giant space hamster briefly captured him, but his quick thinking and synchronized swimming skills helped him defeat all of Greece. Where's the beef, well I'll tell you. Trombone pleasantry? You shall taste the sweet dish of my wrath! Kamehameha!!!
He's also one of our head writers, and one of our go-to camera guys at conventions.
Bio Info: Protoclown belongs to an ancient Order of Mystics who since the dawn of time have read crappy comic books and written about them in an effort to amuse and warn off innocents who may fall victim to their perilous pages. Every month he sacrifices his own mental well-being so that others may avoid suffering the same horrible fate. He agreed to take on this massive responsibility for a sandwich and the promise of a kiss. Occasionally, when the spirit moves him, he'll say "Damn you, poltergeist! You put me down this instant!" Protoclown has been writing for I-Mockery since the year 2000, when they had flying cars, and through the use of arcane sorcery and a time machine that runs on love and owl spit, he plans to still be here writing about things that are stupid in the year 3000.
Name: Max Burbank
Bio Info: Max Burbank is Max Burbank. Max Burbank has no need to hide behind pseudonyms like Bax Murbank or Kax Barbill or Doctor Imperious. Of course this leaves Max Burbank vulnerable to lawsuits. hmmm. Perhaps Max Burbank is not Max Burbank's real name after all.
Bitten as a young man by a radioactive spider, Max Burbank now possesses the proportional speed, strength and agility of a man slowly dying from radiation poisoning. Does his writing on Visionary Darkness amuse you? Max Burbank commands you to read more at acidlogic.com and apeculture.com! Obey the will of Max Burbank!
Pox make art. Art simple, art not words, word confuse pox. Letters abstract! Symbols his brain clumsily mash together to form incoherent drivel. Art friend, art is pretty! Art values poxpower for who he his and not judge him for being not capable of word. Art not beat poxpower with long rulers or make pox stand in corner while other students laugh at him and throw gum in hair. Art only friend.
Come explore art with poxpower in PickleMan!
Brian is our go-to camera guy for all the conventions and events we attend. Neat, huh?
We also have occasional guest appearances over the years from people such as Pjalne, McClain, Mew, FatSatan, and others. So when you see some new material from them on here, it probably means we recently blackmailed them. In addition to those who've writtem for us, there are some people who've helped out with the back-end work on I-Mockery in the past and we owe them a lot of thanks too:
-Re helps out with a lot of the graphic work on I-Mockery and she is the one who designed our logo!
Question: What made you start I-Mockery?
Answer: Well, way back in high school my pals and I started up a little print periodical that we called "Visionary Darkness". We ranted about just about anything and had a great time doing it. When we went our separate ways for college, I started writing humorous articles for the newspaper. It was great getting emails from people who read them and got some chuckles out of my rants. The threats of physical violence from those who didn't approve were an added bonus. While seeing my work in print was definitely cool, the audience just wasn't as broad as I wanted. Fortunately, a buddy of mine gave me some free hosting space on the university's server and I started teaching myself HTML. I was amazed at how many more people I was able to reach with an extremely basic web site. From that point on, working on the web became quite the addiction. I started teaching myself more and more about coding sites, and I also got into Photoshop and Flash big-time. Since I couldn't stay on the university server forever, I signed up for a new free web service called "Geocities" and registered about 10 different accounts on there for all of my various web sites. Yep, one account just wasn't enough. As my audience grew and grew, I realized that I had to get the hell off of Geocities and get a domain of my own. So, I registered good ol' I-Mockery.com and moved all of my old sites over to the domain and the rest is history.
Question: Where does the name "I-Mockery" come from?
Answer: When I registered the domain, all the companies out there were using names like "I-this" and "E-that" at the time, so I figured I'd poke fun at them with my domain name as Internet Mockery. Thus, I-Mockery.com was born.
Question: Just who in the hell are you?
Answer: My name is -RoG- (that's slang for "radtastic" in case you were wondering) but I also go by Roger Barr.
Question: Why do you work on this site all the time?
Answer: I love making people laugh. It's really as simple as that. Every now and then I'll get an email from a person who is absolutely miserable sitting in their cubicle at work, but they inform me that I-Mockery helps break up the monotony of their day by giving them some hearty chuckles. It's that kind of stuff that makes me happy to keep doing this. Sure, the site has given me some great opportunities and opened all sorts of doors, but the fact is I'm still here doing it because it's one of the things I love to do.
Question: Do you really plan to start a video game company?
Answer: Absolutely. I've made many games over the years that people can play for free online, and most of them have done really well. There's no creative process I enjoy more than conceptualizing a game, developing it and then seeing people's reactions when it's finally released! Now I want to make some larger original retail games for our fans to enjoy. I know that if I had a small, full-time staff and an office, I could create some truly amazing games that would be both affordable to the consumer and profitable to us (I already have written up plans for quite a bunch of 'em)... all I need is an investor to help get the company off the ground. If you or somebody you know could help with this, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Question: What's with the Pickle hats and Wacky Space Goggles? Where can I get them?
Answer: The pickle hats came from an old advertisement that I found. You can read more about that HERE. The goggles came from a place called "Zipperhead" in Philadelphia. It's a great little shop on South Street and I really miss living there (not in the shop, in Philly). The goggles and the pickle hat just seemed like two things that went together perfectly. I never thought the two would become such a staple of this web site. It's just another one of the pleasant little oddities of I-Mockery history I guess.
Question: So do you really like pickles that much?
Answer: Actually no, I won't even eat them. Go figure, eh?
Question: Does I-Mockery make any money?
Answer: In recent years, yes, I-Mockery has started to generate enough income to cover all the hosting bills thanks to some great sponsors and advertisers who've been cool enough to help support this site. I'm now able to cover my hosting bills and spend a little extra on, but I'm by no means swimming in a mountain of gold like Scrooge McDuck. One of my goals has been to make this site my full-time job and start a video game company as a result of it, but I'm not going to plaster the site with porn ads 'n crap to achieve that goal. I'd rather do it on my own terms (ie: the quality of the material on this site generating enough public interest to reach my goals).
Question: What publications / shows has I-Mockery appeared in?
Answer: Well, we've been in all sorts of stuff. Some of the publications we've appeared in include The New York Times, The Boston Herald, LA Weekly, National Lampoon, Cracked, Entertainment Weekly, Yahoo Internet Life Magazine, The Guardian UK, Maxim, FHM, Wired, and countless other publications from all over the globe. I-Mockery has also appeared on VH1's "Totally Obsessed", The Food Network's "Unwrapped", Comedy Central's "The Daily Show", G4TV, Coin-Op TV and various radio talk shows. Of course, we also owe a lot of our exposure to some of our buddy sites that we're affiliated with as they've always been cool enough to plug us here in there. If you would like I-Mockery to appear in an interview or a TV segment, don't hesitate to contact us.
Question: Can I write for I-Mockery?
Answer: We used to be more open about accepting submissions, but generally nowadays, we stick with the people that we already have on staff (ie: Dr. Boogie, Protoclown, Max Burbank, etc). While none of them are full-time staffers, though Dr. Boogie is close considering how much he helps out around here, when they do send in new material it's always a classic read. We also just don't have the time to read the HILARIOUS articles that every 12-year-old decides to send in to us. Still, you're welcome to submit material if you want. Just don't expect us to find the time to read it for about a year or so, though we do reserve the right to publish any material sent in to us. That said, we're not trying to discourage you, just don't want you getting your hopes up.
Question: How come you haven't updated [insert section of I-Mockery here] in a long time?
Answer: Ever heard the phrase "beating a dead horse?" No? Well, I have. Certain sections of this site (the anti-rave and metal mockery sites for example) were created a long time ago with the intention of giving people some great laughs about their scenes. Rather than try to update those sections with the same kind of jokes over and over, I just prefer to leave them be. Besides, my interests fluctuate on a daily (if not hourly) basis... so I often like to start up new projects rather than work on 5-year old ones all the time.
Question: Ok but what about the main sections of I-Mockery like the Minimocks? How come you don't update those every day?
Answer: While I wish the other staffers had the time to write for the site on a constant basis, that's just not always the case (though we do update the site 5 days a week now). They have lives and families and flesh-eating viruses which take up an ample chunk of their time. So... that leaves the site in my hands. I'm in charge of coding it, creating graphics for it, and writing for it. Oh yeah, and paying the bills for it. Considering I also work 40+ hours a week and take martial arts classes at night, I'm doing the best I can with what time I still have. The "Shorts" section has been created so that myself and the other staffers will be able to post smaller pieces on the site that won't take us quite as long to write while we're simultaneously working on the larger pieces. In all honesty, many of our minimocks (Features) can take a few weeks to finish. We put a LOT of time and effort into making them both extremely in-depth and entertaining... and if it takes a few weeks to achieve that, then so be it. Quality over quantity, baby!
Question: I heard I-Mockery has a show now? What's that all about?
Answer: Doc Mock's Movie Mausoleum is a show that emerged from the depths of I-Mockery. In essence, it's a tribute to the classic horror / b-movie host shows from yesteryear such as Commander USA's Groovie Movies, Dr. Gruesome, Elvira, USA Up All Night and more. The show is shot in a Los Angeles studio and airs LIVE every week as we are joined by talented comedic guests to screen some of the cheesiest independent movies you've ever seen!
Question: I can't find one of my favorite pieces on I-Mockery! Where is it?
Answer: If you really can't find it, email me and I'll try to help you locate it. However, I suggest using our built-in search engine first. It's located in the top menu and is pretty damned extensive. If it can't find something, chances are you dreamed it up and should seek immediate medical attention because you may be having a stroke.
Question: Why haven't you written about [insert movies, games, toys, etc. here] yet?
Answer: There's a bajillion things out there to write about, and I'm still working on getting to each and every one of them. If there's something you'd really like to see featured on I-Mockery.com, email me and I'll put it on my gargantuan to-do list if I think it's worth writing about.
Question: How come you wrote about something that some other sites already wrote about? How come some other sites rip you off?
Answer: If some other site wrote about the same thing I wrote about, it doesn't matter to me. I don't care if they wrote it before me or after me. The web is a big place and we're all bound to cross paths here 'n there. We each have our own thoughts on certain topics so there's no reason any of us shouldn't write about something just because it appears on some other site already.
Question: Where's the latest I-Mockery Club Pack?
Answer: While the club packs were a huge success, the fact is they took a lot of time to put together and mail out. Being that I already work full-time writing for I-Mockery, I just don't have the time to put together all of the orders for new club packs. The sticker sales on I-Mockery alone are hard enough to keep up with. Still, I might release some more club packs in the future as a "seasonal" kind of thing. You know, more Halloween club packs, and things of that nature. We'll see what happens. Meanwhile, you can still order some t-shirts, stickers and posters!
Question: I can't download/find a file on I-Mockery, what happened to it? Answer: A while back, we converted the entire site from ASP to PHP, so a lot of the paths have changed. Your best bet is to start from the main page and try to locate it or use our built-in search engine. If you find any broken links, by all means feel free to report it to us and we'll try to fix it as soon as possible.
Question: I want to make a rom hack. How do I hack a rom?
Answer: Listen bub, we don't make the rom hacks, we just review 'em. Should you want to create your own atrocious rom hack to submit to us, more power to ya, but we can't tell you how to do it. Do a search on Google for "rom hacking" if you want to learn how to hack roms. They'll point you in the right direction... maybe.
Question: I submitted a review to your Classic Games, Music Reviews, and/or Movie Reviews site. How come it hasn't been approved?
Answer: While we generally don't screen reviews for grammar, as you can tell by the plethora of horribly written viewer-submitted reviews that we have, we still do screen them to make sure the information is generally correct. The people who work on the 3 review sites do it on a volunteer basis, when they have the time to do it. So rest assured, if you followed the rules for review submissions, your review will eventually get approved. Whether people will mock you to hell for writing such a horrible review, however, is another case entirely. It should also be mentioned that those 3 user-submitted review sites are no longer accepting new submissions until we have time to comletely revamp them. In the meantime, we've started up the new Weeklies section of I-Mockery in which we will be reviewing movies, music, games and comics and you can respond with your own thoughts about 'em!
Question: I have a product/site/company that I want to advertise on this site. How should I go about doing this?
Answer: Email firstname.lastname@example.org for all the juicy details. We've got very affordable advertising rates and we're also happy to run sponsored contests. You can also click here to find out more about our advertising program.
Question: How can I help out I-Mockery?
Answer: Well, the best way to help out I-Mockery is to tell people about it. We've never spent a dime on advertising. the popularity of this site is all due to worth-of-mouth and that's something we're really proud of. If you want to help out in other ways, you can always buy some merchandise. It all helps out! Most importantly, we really need sponsors and/or investors, (especially to help get our video game company off the ground) so if you know anybody, please have them contact us!
Question: Are you really going to make a horror/comedy zombie movie?
Answer: Does a brain go "squish" like Jell-O? Yes, I have all intentions of making a zombie movie, but I need to raise a lot o' cash before I can set aside the time to do something like that. We've had some donations over the years, but we really need an investor with some solid cash to back that project if it's ever going to take off. So yeah, if you know investors with some deep pockets who want to help me get this project off the ground, let me know!
Question: Did you really do a Zombie Walk in Richmond, VA?
Answer: Yep, I'm the founding father of the Richmond Zombie Walk. I entrusted the walk to some good friends to keep the walk going after I moved from Richmond, VA to Los Angeles, CA. I also organized a zombie walk for a special Halloween episode of CSI: NY. You can read all about it on my other site, zombiewalk.com.
Question: What are some of the other sites you founded?
Answer: I've started up a lot of sites and I'm sure I'll start more eventually, but as of now here's the list:
DocMock.com - the official site for my horror / b-movie show!
ZombieWalk.com - a site that allows you to meet fellow zombie walkers in your town and organize zombie walks of your own.
GeneralZod.net - the unofficial homepage for the ruler of planet Houston. Kneel before Zod!
RainbowPuke.com - a happy place for sad rainbows.
ElSerpento.com - homepage of the greatest Mexican wrestler in the history of the internet.
Scarmageddon.com - a site where you submit pics of your scars and with the stories behind them. (closed)
Costumecritic.com - a site where you submit pics of your costumes and with the stories behind them. (closed)
Diablo3.com - a fan site for the highly anticipated third game in the Diablo series. (now operated by Blizzard)
Question: Can I use your content on my site?
Answer: Generally speaking, no. What reason would a person have to come visit this site which I spend so much time working on when they can find the same exact content elsewhere? So that's generally why all the material on I-Mockery is exclusive to this site. Still, there are some rare exceptions, so if you are interested in using one of my pieces or hiring me to write something for you, feel free to contact me.
Question: If I link to your site, will you link to mine?
Answer: We must get like 20 of these emails a day. While it's great that you like I-Mockery enough to wanna put up a link to it, we get far too many link exchange requests to return the favor. So feel free to email us about your site, but we can't promise to respond to it. If we happen to come across your site and like it enough to link to it, you'll hear from us. If you really want to see your link on I-Mockery that badly, however, we do have some very affordable advertising opportunities.
Question: Who would win in a battle between a flying shark and a flying crocodile?
Answer: I think the answer to that question is quite obvious.
Answer: Wow, you mean you actually care to read about that boring jargon? Oh alright, suit yourself... click here.
Question: Where is that "refreshing pink lemonade" anyway?
Answer: It's at the Alamo... in the basement.
Question: Will you make a sequel to Domo-Kun's Angry Smashfest?
Answer: I'd love to, but the fact is, that game took over 4-months of work between myself and Tom Fulp. We both have extremely busy schedules these days, and neither of us would want to start on the game without the other. So it's all a matter of the two of us finding the time to dedicate to it. Not making any promises, but the two of us always talk about doing the sequel sometime in the future. In the meantime, you can expect plenty of other games from both of us.
Question: Where are those pics of you and the Newgrounds crew hanging out?
Answer: The ones that I blackmailed them with so that they pay my rent each month? Oh what the hell... here they are.
Question: So do you really like Boo Berry cereal?
Answer: No, I only run the Unofficial Boo Berry site, what do you think?
Question: Are you still in a band?
Answer: I've been in a couple of bands, and done some comedic stuff with "Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy." but I haven't had a chance to record anything new in a while. That's mainly because the motherboard on my new computer wasn't compatible with the external recording device I was using. I really do want to get into a band though, so if you know of a band looking for an animated front man, contact me! Anyway, I do plan on getting a new machine which I'll use strictly for recording purposes, so you can expect more stupid songs from me in the future. In the meantime, just keep listening to me sing "I Will Beat Pacman" or "Dead Backstreet Boys" instead. I've also started making video game music (aka: chiptunes). For example, all of the music in our huge "Trick-Or-Treat Adventure Quest" game and the main themes in "Santa Fu" and "The Snow Runs Red" were made by yours truly.
Question: Where is I-Mockery based?
Answer: While I would like to say "THE MOON!", the fact is we're currently based in Los Angeles, CA. For many years we were primarily located in Richmond, VA. You can read an interview I did with Richmond.com too.
Question: What happened to the old funny flash intros on the I-Mockery homepage?
Answer: I've created a page that archives some of the best intros we've had over the years. It also explains why the intros are no longer the default page of I-Mockery. Click here for details.
Question: What else changed on this site when you moved it onto the new server and converted all of those pages a few years ago?
Answer: Rather than type it up all over again on this page, I'll let you read my original post about it instead. Click here for details.
Question: Is it true that there's a secret hidden on this page somewhere?
Answer: Hmmmmmmmmm, could be.
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