NEW MINIMOCK: "ICHI THE KILLER!"

[Mockery]

This is probably the single largest movie review minimock we've had on I-Mockery thus far, so major kudos to Dr. Boogie for all his hard work on this massive feature. He was hoping to have it ready by Halloween, but good things come to those who wait, and this is as good as it gets. Four pages of total immersion in one of the craziest movies you'll ever see, Ichi The Killer!

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/boxes/ichi-box.jpg (http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/ichithekiller)
NEW MINIMOCK: "ICHI THE KILLER" -by Dr. Boogie
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/ichithekiller

Enjoy!

[Jeff The Ninja]

Just Finished reading it and I have to say that is one Fucked up, violent, sick, degrading, shocking movie I Havent seen but have seen enough pics, gifs, and has enough info on to sucessfully carry on a decent conversation with someone about the film.

[Zomboid]

Why don't you actually watch the fucking movie before you start talking to people as if you have.

[Mike]

Well the definition of a "minimock" seems to be getting more and more nonspecific as the quanitity of minimocks increases. There's nothing mocking or "mini" about a prosaic four page long movie walkthrough. Good luck having any fun watching the movie after you read Dr. Boogie's banal step-by-step guide.

[Chojin]

Welcome back, Carnivore Jr.

[James]

I found a Kakihara action figure online a while back, but it was on a Japanese website and apparently sold out so I couldn't buy it.

A real figure too. Not some Frankenstein creation of other figures. :(

[Dr. Boogie]

Good luck having any fun watching the movie after you read Dr. Boogie's banal step-by-step guide.

Step 1: Remove head from ass.
Step 2: Enjoy life's splendour.


Edit: Added the "u" to splendour to give it a European flavor.

[Mike]

LOL are you serious? Did you even understand what I meant in that sentence? I mean, it's ok if you think I sounded like a prick but did you even comprehend? I would've accepted a "fuck you" but that's priceless. You are my favorite idiot on this site.

[Guitar Woman]

Welcome back, Carnivore Jr.
:lol

[Dr. Boogie]

LOL are you serious? Did you even understand what I meant in that sentence?

You said that you didn't understand why the piece is a mini-mock, because you forgot that the full mocks are sites filled with a variety of content instead of just a single article. You included the word "prosaic" in your criticism so that the casual observer wouldn't think that you're just some internet troll whose main argument is "you're stupid LOL."

You went on to say you didn't like the piece. You also implied that you have something against step-by-step guides, so in the interest of compromise, I wrote up a quick one which I hoped would not be so subtle as to pass over your head.

Still, deep down, I know you loved the piece. That's why you say I'm your favorite idiot on the site. Oh, don't worry; I love you too, Mike. :)

[Tropical]

Karen speaks cantonese as well. The actor that played her was from Hong Kong. Haha it feels wierd that everyone even Ichi understands what she says in all 3 of her languages.

[Dr. Boogie]

I don't know, most of the time she said something in English, she immediately said it in Japanese. There were only a couple times When she said something fairly important in juest English. Maybe the characters were just humoring her to be polite.

[Mike]

There. Now I know that at least your head works. I still think your article is dumb and that minimocks are stupid, but that was better than your dim little comeback.

[Dr. Boogie]

There it is again.

It's like when a new person rolls in and says that they hate the site and everything in it. Then, they wind up staying on the forums for months because the truth of the matter is that they love it, but will vehemently deny it when asked why they hang around a site they hate.

Mike, my friend, I know the only reason you blow in every few months to drop flaccid insults on the board is to secretly show that you care, just as an elementary school student might yank on the pigtails of a girl he likes. He simply knows of no other way to express his feelings.

It's a shame, really. We really need to open up as a society.

[Mike]

That could be it, or maybe I'm just bored and need to hate something now and then. I dunno. I will have to ponder this. In the meantime, why don't some of you "vets" mash your skulls together and think of a way to drive me off for good. You're right that I don't hate I-mockery.com, the name of the website itself is too ludicrous to truly hate. It's a site devoted to mocking things and nothing ever really gets mocked, except the people who run and write for the site (mostly on other sites but even on their own forums from time to time). The irony is beautiful. So maybe you're right. I do like this site, in kind of the same way that Americans love to read poorly worded fortune cookie prophecies.

[Dr. Boogie]

That should be our new site motto: Too ludicrous to hate.

As for driving you off for good, a simple banning would take care of that, but it's just not worth it. We have people who work hard to earn a ban. Fartinmowler, for example, had to spend months and months being a completely unfunny ninny before he was banned. You, as I've already said, just breeze on in here every few months when you get board to hurl a fistful of random insults, hoping that at least one will stick.

Frankly, it would be an insult to real ban-worthy people to give you a ban that you really haven't earned. Instead, what I think we'll wind up doing is waiting for that inevitable "I'm leaving, I have a life, you all still suck LOL" post that guys like you are known for. Until then, please continue to make as many posts as you'd like about how people are stupid, gay, boring, etc.

[FartinMowler]

Thanks Boogie (I think :/ ) I really liked your mini-mock...I wish I could remember some of the great Hong Kong movies I watched in the early 90's (some were very violent and cools stories).

[Mockery]

:lol

Ok, I now can't wait to see Boogie in the mock wars.

[Mike]

OK, so am I now supposed to figure out how to become truly "ban-worthy"?

[Chojin]

For those not in the know: Mike is one of the numerous people who were trying their god damnedst to fit in around here until myself and others made fun of them. Whereupon, wherefore, whence, he decided that he'd take the super-cool rebel persona to tired and uninteresting heights.

[Rosenstern]

My friend let let me borrow his copy of Ichi about half a year ago. I watched it once then gave it back. I honestly feel that it is a great piece of modern cimema, I just don't have the stomach to watch it ever again.

[Mike]

Almost right, chojin. I decided to be a super-cool rebel after I realized that I'd have to cut my head open and replace my brain with oatmeal in order to fit in around here.

[Mike]

This thread isn't about me though. It is about Dr. Boogie taking all the surprise and shock value out of a movie so that we can save the 4 bucks it would take to rent it. Everyone proceed to suck his cock. Carry on.

[James]

Hey Mike.

You're a faggot. Hope I didn't ruin the surprise for anyone, but it's painfully obvious within the first 30 seconds of watching him.

[Mike]

Hahahaha okay James.

[Bod]

I watched half of that film and couldn't stand any more.
Sickening violence just for the sake of it.

[Dr. Boogie]

Oh, come on. I admit the scenes when the pimp is beating up the girl aren't particularly fun to watch, but so much of the violence is so overdone as to appear comical, like the cheek-pinching and the pimp getting split in 'twain.

[DrGonzo]

Last night I finally watched the rest of Goku after falling asleep the first four times (less the movie's falut and more of mine for having a screwy sleep pattern). It was weird had had a couple of funny parts but I just flat out didn't see the point of it. At all. Maybe there wasn't one. I kind of feel the same way about Ichi.

[Bod]

Nah Dr Boogie (a dr of what btw?) I cannot agree with you. There was a bit where he was torturing a bloke strung up by his skin pouring boiling oil on him. Made me squirm. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one for weepie/girly movies, I prefer to be scared stupid, left on the edge of my seat, but that was just nasty. Not comical at all - maybe I've just not been desensitized enough?

[James]

You might like Miike's other films, Bod. They're not as gross or scary.

You say you're not one for girly movies, but I do suggest you check out Audition, done by the same guy. Just so you can get a better sense of the guy's style without the gratuitous torture and gore scenes.

[Zomboid]

Nah Dr Boogie (a dr of what btw?) I cannot agree with you. There was a bit where he was torturing a bloke strung up by his skin pouring boiling oil on him. Made me squirm. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one for weepie/girly movies, I prefer to be scared stupid, left on the edge of my seat, but that was just nasty. Not comical at all - maybe I've just not been desensitized enough?

But his expression...and when he says "Just a little torture.." when asked what he's doing. I lol'ed :(

[carnage]

That was probaly my favorite minimock I have read so far, The more violent the better, but the guy cutting out his tounge was a little weird. :|

[the_dudefather]

got this on DVD a few years back (when it was supposibly on sale for only one month before being taken off the shelves again or something)

the tongue scene and the finger back snapping were a bit nasty :P

might get story of ricky sometime soon (which was minimocked a while back)

[ArrowX]

To answer Bod's question.

Dr.Boogie is a Doctor of all things awesome.