Things you know now you wish you could tell your younger self.

[MetalMilitia]

If you could magically go back in time and tell yourself some things which you've learnt as a result of growing up, what would they be?

DISCUSS

- Free education is awesome. Don't waste it.
- As bad as you think life is as a teenager, it's 100 times worse and more complicated as and adult, so get over it.
- Friends that don't respect you aren't your friends and you shouldn't put up with their shit.

[Chojin]

do your homework, shithead

[Sethomas]

-Do your homework, shithead.
-Go to Columbus.
-Her mental status is crumbling just as rapidly as you are, and both of you are too blind to figure this out and will be for quite a long while. Chill out about it a few weeks, possibly months.*
-Do your homework, shithead.
-Demand a different doctor. You can tell that he's a total prick, but your justifications for ignoring this aren't as well-grounded as you think.
-Don't go to Columbus.

[Pub Lover]

- Dodge this! *Fires gun*

[Emu]

Quit pining over her, she's on the other side of the country and is kind of a bitch anyway. Go with the other one.

[Pandajuice]

-Free education is awesome. Don't waste it.
-Enjoy being a kid/teenager because being an adult sucks balls.
-Despite all the propaganda, children are horrible and will suck your life force away. Don't have one.
-Hot 17 year old girls enjoy hot tubs, not MST3K, you dweeb.

[Emu]

Hug your dad once in a while.

[terrva]

I'd say: Start playing hockey or something, work harder in school and learn how to fight, you no good pencilneck. Then i'd beat that little piece of shit up so he'd know what it's like in high school.

[MetalMilitia]

As tempting as it will be, do not live on microwaved ready-meals for your first year of university.

[Esuohlim]

Learn how to stop procrastinating.

I still tell that to my current self but he won't listen :(

[Sethomas]

-Even though "Winston Smith" is a cool reference that will impress people, you really shouldn't get an I-Mockery account in the first place.

[Guitar Woman]

hit the therapist, you won't get another chance.

[GADZOOKS]

keep up the good work!

[Asila]

-enjoy your friends now, they're harder to make as an adult
-Just suck it up and go to school in GA, I don't care how much you hate your parents

[thebiggameover]

just because she puts out, dosent mean you should move in with her....

[Tadao]

All those drugs you're gonna do.... you are going to have a great time.

[Kitsa]

- Get to NY and see Joey Ramone while he's still alive :(

- Stop apologizing for everything.

- Don't get into a car with idiot #1.

- Don't let your mom say okay and then pressure you into it when idiot #2 asks you on a date.

- Don't waste time on idiot #3, he's a liar and a cheater.

- Strangle idiot #4 while you still can.

-Appreciate your great-grandmother and great-aunt while you can, because you'll miss them horribly when they're gone.

- You don't HAVE to get married, no matter what you think.

- You don't have to take as much shit as you think you do.

[executioneer]

dont skip the third grade

[Pub Lover]

- If you go in & watch that movie I'll shoot you in the face, your friends will think this is the coolest thing ever, but I'll claim my motivation was to cause a temperal paradox inorder to see what happens.

[executioneer]

also i would tell past me about lottery numbers and to keep the money SECRET

[sspadowsky]

Keep most people at a minimum of arm's length.

Fortunately, younger self listened.

[Pub Lover]

- If you decide not to see the movie, then here are stock tips: Enron & Bear Stearns. Buy as many as you can.

[WhiteRat]

- Drink and get high if you must, but for the love of Zeus, work hard in high school!
- Don't go to a college with all of your HS friends...it will set you up for 3 years of failure.
- when the "one" tells you to grow up and do something with your life, take her seriously.
- When a very hot coworker pulls you aside and tells you she wants a fuck buddy, don't say "that's nice" and walk away.
- Don't light that cigarette and don't ever ever ever lose your love of running.

[Zomboid]

- Stop fucking partying so much and take school seriously please :(
- YOU'RE GONNA QUIT SMOKING POT IN A FEW YEARS ANYWAY SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER STARTING
- Don't chew tobacco. Go straight to smoking it.
- Fuck the stupid, annoying, but hot girls! You don't have to see them after you're done :D
- Start slowly poisoning your enemies!

[Pub Lover]

- If I don't shoot you then all that will happen is that everyone you know will regret not working harder in school. Yes, even you.

[MetalMilitia]

- YOU'RE GONNA QUIT SMOKING POT IN A FEW YEARS ANYWAY SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER STARTING

Tell my past self that one too. What a fucking waste of 4 years.

[Kitsa]

That's good to know, because I never did drugs and always wondered if I'd missed out.

[Colonel Flagg]

- Relax a little; don't be such an uptight prick all the freaking time.
- Apply to more than 2 colleges (idiot)
- The exchange student wants you - go for her, and stay away from the freshman (she's insane)
- Do the God Damned reading, you son of a bitch.
- You're here to learn, not to order out and play cards.

That just about covers it.

[Asila]

That's good to know, because I never did drugs and always wondered if I'd missed out.


You know, I did the pot thing once and was glad that I did, so at least I could say that I knew what it was like

[Matt Harty]

Wear condoms idiot. :x

[Pentegarn]

There are a ton for me.

"Don't drink that beer, and the several thousand others you will subsequently drink. They will only make your gut fat"
"Debt sucks, 75% of the shit you think you need you will ultimately regret ever buying because you will not use it in the end (I am looking at you XM radio)"
"Long distance relationships do not work. And when you get a chance to find that out firsthand, save yourself time and just walk away from that."
"Trust your instincts about your classmates, don't give them the benefit of the doubt ever."
"Get into the fire safety and security business as soon as you can. Don't waste your time working for Limited Brands, they have NO loyalty to their employees and no real business sense."
"Caffeine is HIGHLY addictive. Whatever you do do NOT try Code Red Mt. Dew"

[Esuohlim]

Wear condoms idiot. :x

:lol

HI MATT "THE PARTY" HARTY

[Fat_Hippo]

"Don't eat that blue lollipop, it'll make your shit green."

"Stop being such a pussy; punch more people in the face when they won't fucking listen." Oh wait, I should still do that.:\

"Don't enroll in that fucking school, who cares if you can go to university or not. You don't know what you wanna do anyway, and it'll just increase the amount of time you waste travelling back and forth from school from 10 minutes to 1 and a half hours per day. It's not worth it, and you don't need to learn latin anyway."

[T-Rex]

Don't get a Facebook account.

Be more responsible with your money.

Just because the hot girl in the shop told you her birthday doesn't mean you should get her something you fucktard. You live in a small town. You're fucked everytime you see her, even years from now. Seriously past me, you made things awkward for future me and he really doesn't appreciate your shit.

[Seven Force]

oh god it finally happened

GBS has come to I-Mockery :tear

[StalfrosGR]

Just because she will play Warcraft with you doesn't mean it is true love.

[WhiteRat]

oh god it finally happened

GBS has come to I-Mockery :tear

I see the threadshitting from GBS is here as well.

[McClain]

1) You shouldn't have put your penis in there.
2) Why didn't you bang that chick?
3) Buy stock in Apple.
4) Why didn't you bang that chick?
5) Why did you bang that chick?
6) Enjoy being hairless. It won't last.
7) Until you're 22, nothing you do means a damn thing.
8) Try out Japan.
9) CLOSED-BETA! DO IT!
10) Fuck writing for I-Mockery. Write for National Lampoon!

[The One and Only...]

Never trust people on buses.

[Fat_Hippo]

"Don't pet that siamese cat for the next 2 hours. You don't know it yet, but you're allergic, and if you pet that cat, it will make the next 2 days of your life painful as shit, so don't do it. Seriously."

"Play outside more, so I...you...we don't have so many allergies later on. Stop playing with clay, drawing stickmen and playing pc games! There's a wonderful sandbox outside; USE IT! That way, maybe I won't have all these fuck-...you're 4, aren't you? Anway, just do it, so I don't have to suffer."

"You were totally right in jabbing that pencil in your brothers back. Totally. You may have doubts now, but ten years later, you'll realize that it was SO worth it. So don't hesitate, and jab away."

[liquidstatik]

- DO BETTER IN SCHOOL >:
- STOP SKIPPING SCHOOL 'CAUSE YOU JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT >:
- DON'T STOP DRAWING, YOU'LL REGRET IT LATER WHEN YOU SUCK AGAIN >:
- STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH EVERY GIRL, THAT JUST MAKES DUDES THINK YOU'RE A FAGGOT AND GET NO SEX >:
- GET A GOD DAMN JOB (I'M LOOKING AT YOU TOO, CURRENT SELF) >:

[Grislygus]

Never trust people on buses.

RAPE

[Seven Force]

Never trust people on buses.

i remember that... :eek

[Fat_Hippo]

- GET A GOD DAMN JOB (I'M LOOKING AT YOU TOO, CURRENT SELF) >:

This explains how you can be here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

[Emu]

oh god it finally happened

GBS has come to I-Mockery :tear

Actually IIRC this post predates the one in GBS.

[MadballChibcha]

Thing I´d say to my younger self:

Ask for another highschool. A co-ed one preferably.

[Esuohlim]

Don't get a Facebook account.

Are you kidding Facebook helped me get laid http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/pimp.gif

[Sethomas]

Man, I really love to bring up social networking sites from a sociological standpoint as far as how they're going to destroy us more likely than make us stronger, but then I consider how much effect FB has had in my sexual (mis)adventures and I'm torn.

[JediScum]

Work on more upper body strength.

Hitchhike to Chicago so you can see Big Black before they break up.

Learn Greek, Arabic and Sanskrit alphabets.

Never watch "Nacho Libre".

Oh, yeah, pack some pillows and blankets in that shitty car you have. Drive more girls around instead of those dipshit guys who never give you gas money.

Take gymnastics.

Keep skating.

[Dread Naught]

1-The pretty young blonde in 2nd grade is more trouble than she's worth.
2-Next time you hit a kid in the nose, make sure it does more than make it bleed for two weeks.
3-Don't listen to your heart, it will lead you away from what you need to do.
4-Sue those bastards.
5-Believe in yourself and trust no one.
6-Don't go after girls wearing glasses.

[Madman914]

-Get the i-mockery account now before the site re-design. Trust me it'll save you some trouble.

[Qwarx]

-You don't need her, she's just a fucking bitch.

-Quit being a pussy.

-Here are the lottery numbers for every day/whatever lotteries go by in the near future.

[Chojin]

7) Until you're 22, nothing you do means a damn thing.

YES. I was just talking about how I wished I knew I wouldn't get in trouble for anything while I was a kid :<

[Guitar Woman]

bullshit on that, I've all but ruined my future at this point.

[Esuohlim]

-Keep up the good work, you're doing a bang-up job!

[Pub Lover]

GW is at the exact age now that I would go back to & tell to cut the crap.

[Guitar Woman]

I'm actually buckling down in school lately, but I really don't think someone with a history of mental illness is going to be a good candidate for a law enforcement job

which I really really want :<

[Guitar Woman]

Then again I could become a masked vigilante like those guys in that other thread!

[Asila]

Just accept the fact that you've got an obsessive personlity, find something useful for it :rolleyes

[Jeanette X]

-YOU HAVE ASPERGER'S SYNDROME! GO GET HELP ON HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!

-The birth control pills are making you gain weight. Ask the gyno for another kind.

-The world isn't out to get you, you're having a serious reaction the cymbalta. Get back on luvox.

-Don't pick those dandelions. Mom might like them, but they'll make you sneeze and you're eyes will itch and swell so badly that you'll barely be able to see by the time you get home. You're allergic to them, stupid.

-Buy an epililator. The depilitory will burn your face, shaving will irritate it.

-You and him are only together because you're both desperately lonely, not because you make a good couple.

-Make plans for grad school earlier, so you don't end up working retail for over a year after you get rejected. And don't blow off that stupid health class you had to take just to graduate, it'll fuck up your GPA.

-Do lateral raises with your weights, they'll help the problem with your shoulders far more than any of that bullshit with the stretchy band that the physical therapist told you to do.

-Go ahead and punch out the stupid bitch. You're too young to get a criminal record, you're strong enough to take her, and people won't fuck with you anymore if you beat her senseless in the hallway. Bite her too, for good measure.

[Seven Force]

this thread is GBS

i thought some of you guys were better than this

[Pentegarn]

this thread is GBS

i thought some of you guys were better than this

Wanna clue those of us over the age of 30 what GBS stands for?

I tried looking it up bet there are 187 unverified definitions for it and 75 verified definitions.

[WhiteRat]

It's the General Bullshit forum of Something Awful. Seven Force seems to think that a thread like this is exclusive to that site.

[DALI-II]

Hi past me, i have a few things to tell you about... THE FUTURE!
1.Yes,Miss Holloway is a rotten old bitch, but ACTUALLY PUT EFFORT IN HER HOMEWORK!
2. James is a retard who has DOS,on his PC. Don´t go to the movies with him.
3. Maca will grow up to be an idiot. Go out with Cristina.
4. DO NOT,i repeat DO NOT see this movie called Epic Movie. It will only cause extreme vomiting.
5. Invest in this little thing called Wikipedia.
6. Yes,MR.T is awesome. Even 10 years from now.
7. Go to Trinity college. Yes, i know your acting isn´t that good. SO PRACTISE!
8. Marina, while she may look intimidating, will be your best friend later on.

[Seven Force]

1. seven force do not mention GBS outside GBS it annoys people a lot

[liquidstatik]

I'm actually buckling down in school lately, but I really don't think someone with a history of mental illness is going to be a good candidate for a law enforcement job

which I really really want :<

fuck you, pig

[Esuohlim]

-YOU HAVE ASPERGER'S SYNDROME! GO GET HELP ON HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!

Haha Seven Force was right.

[Seven Force]

see?!

[Seven Force]

well ok not really, if it was GBS she'd revel in the fact that she's no longer a "neurotypical" and not get help

[mburbank]

OMG, MAX BURBANK FROM THE PAST, YOU WOULD MAKE YOUR FUTURE SELF GAY IF NOT FOR THE FACT IT WAS STILL STRICTLY FOR THE LADIES!

[Phoenix Gamma]

I'd tell myself to draw shit that was actually original instead of copying everything so that I'd be better by now.

Also, "DAMMIT LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE STREET. JESUS CHRIST LOOK OUT."

[D*O*L*E]

Your initial feelings were right, 'Those who fear tomorrow' IS incredible, and you will still listen to it on a daily basis 18 years from now.

[sloth]

girls never get less complicated to understand, only less complicated to distinguish

[ninjaguy]

do your homework
dont talk to the emo kids
get PE more than twice
and lastly...

Fuck all those mexican chicks, dammit!!!:rock

[Emu]

me from 10 minutes ago:

don't read the last page of this thraed

[Sethomas]

do your homework
get PE more than twice


Penis enlargement? MORE than twice?

[MetalMilitia]

Oh shit, I bet this guy has some stories to tell! :x

[Shrubfest]

Yeah, ok, so you don't wanna go to uni. But you were too fucking lazy to get a job in your year out, so just go....
Also: now you have money, go all those places you are told to. It will be fun. The train will not eat you.
Finally: Yes everyone at highschool was a dick, but you'll never see any of them again after it's finished. Don't worry. Most friends after actually like you!

[Miss Modular]

Young Modular,

I understand that you hate Math and Science, but if you really pay attention and work hard, it might open up a few more doors.

See a doctor about your anxiety issues.

You're right. You live in a town with a bunch of narrow-minded morons, but you know what? Things will get better, and fortunately, there are more worldly people once you get out of there.

If film is what you really want to go after, go after it. Don't be afraid that people are going to laugh at you for choosing it as an occupation. However, you will not make a lot of money, and you will NOT be famous.

You'll get your driver's license when you're 26.

[Fat Ugly Drunk]

Smoking is really expensive, save up.

[LordSappington]

Pay attention in school, or you get sent to an Army Academy.
That is a porcupine. Do not touch it. It will ruin your shit.
Just because a shell didn't come out of his shotgun when he pumped it doesn't mean it's empty. Those things can jam, too.

[Fat_Hippo]

Just because a shell didn't come out of his shotgun when he pumped it doesn't mean it's empty. Those things can jam, too.

:eek