Your weirdest dreams?

[Kitsa]

and the colleague?

[Zhukov]

Maybe one day, but not that day. :\

[Kitsa]

Last night, I dreamed I was friends with someone (similar in appearance and attitude to April Winchell (http://www.aprilwinchell.com/), but in her early 20s) who inexplicably lived in the very tippy-top of a large courthouse building.

To get to her apartment, where she lived with a male partner of similar personality, you had to take this hideously scary one-person lift to nearly the top. The cable creaked and you just knew it could break any second, and there was no safety mechanism to keep you from plummeting back down the narrow shaft to certain death. Once the elevator had gone as high as it could go, you had to disembark and climb an equally scary set of rungs built into the stone wall of the bell tower.

If you made it up the ladder alive, you came out in a floor-hatchway into their apartment. It was so harrowing and scary just to get to their apartment, they hardly ever left, so they took to casually asking me if I could just bring the mail up instead of going down to get it themselves. I went along with it for a while, until they asked me if I knew of this other guy who lived in this other courthouse bell-tower who wanted me to bring his mail to him, too.

Right as I was telling them to fuck off, I woke up.

[Esuohlim]

LAST I NIGHT I WAS DREAM-CHILLIN' OUT WITH FRED WILLARD :eek

[Pentegarn]

Did you talk Christopher Guest movies with him?

[Pentegarn]

This one was just weird

I was at some party where for some reason I volunteered to play Santa Claus. Then as the party was winding down, I went outside and saw myself driving a Chevy HHR that flipped over as I was driving/watching myself drive it

[MarioRPG]

I had a dream last night that my graduating high school class was all called back for a missed credit. :x

[Kitsa]

I have a lot of nightmares about staircases, probably due to my medical stuff. Usually in the nightmares I reach a point on a rickety or dangerous staircase where I'm too terrified to go either up or down from where I am.

I had a nap-dream that I was at a relative's new house, and I had to go downstairs from the guest bedroom to get two bowls of vanilla ice cream. The stairway to the kitchen was some sort of arty number where it was about as big around as a waterslide tube, and all of the stairs were slings instead of treads. Like the seats of playground swings, only white canvas.

I made it down two steps before I was too afraid to continue. Then I sat on one of the slings and looked down about 30 feet to the cement floor below. I was certain that if I tried to go further down, I'd fall, and if I tried to go back up, I'd fall. Oh, and the steps swayed back and forth like swings, too.

It was horrifying.

[Kitsa]

http://www.slate.com/id/2281106/ <- do crazy people have crazy dreams

[captain516]

I ran into Cristoph Waltz at the airport. He gave me his Hans Landa jacket.

[Esuohlim]

Willie, Fathom, Babs, and I were going to a concert. When we got to the place we lost Babs, but Hugh Laurie was there and we got VIP privileges :eek

[Fathom Zero]

I was hanging out with this girl playing video games.

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/8615/32803129.jpg

I don't even know why.

Then I was a fireman with this badass axe that had stickers all over it.

EDIT: Oh yeh, coz she's hot. Duh.

[Esuohlim]

I dreamt about womti, only his name was Derek Frohawk and he was dressed up as Chuck E. Cheese to prey on little kids :(

[kahljorn]

lately when i drink/dodrugs and blackout i have dreams the next night about what transpired when i was blacked out :O

but i dunno if its eXACTLY what happened

[Redface]

Y'know, I keep having these dreams wherein I'm having sex with women that I didn't think I found sexy in my conscious, waking hours; like the dream a few weeks ago where I banged the plain-looking female clerk at the FYE where I buy all my CDs. Just last night, I dreamed I made love to a pregnant Jennifer Lopez who had seduced me in the nude (to be fair on that one, I was watching American Idol hours before so that more then likely explains that).

[Shyandquietguy]

How many folks here get these strange dreams where you all of a sudden feel as if something is moving you? Touching you?

I actually had one where I was doing a 180 in bed while lying down! And there is one that still disturbs me as I was living in a dorm room at the time! And not the "We get to visits chicks anytime we want to!" kind!

What's shakin', bacon?

[LordSappington]

Last night, I had a dream where I was hanging out at this ditch near my house with my girlfriend and my ex. We were rolling and flopping from place to place like Baman (from Baman Piderman, if you know what that is), trying to decide what kind of dessert we wanted to make. Then two girls came out of nowhere, and were trying to throw water on me, so I started running into the woods. I ran into where they were making these water pipes of sorts, but really big, and they were covered with some papery stuff, so I was stuck on top, afraid it would break and i would drown.
Eventually I made it off, and we made cookies and cream pudding, which sounds really good.

[captain516]

I was teaching a group of puppets how to use the computer, and this one puppet was really retarded and couldn't even get the hang of clicking. I lost it and screamed at him.

[Kitsa]

I was a guest at this luxury hotel in Tokyo. The hotel's main draw was a special pool that featured what they were calling "ultra-dense" water. It was sort of thick and gel-like and had curative properties. I wouldn't get near it because to dream-me it seemed more likely I could drown in ultra-dense water.

[Immortal Goat]

Last night I dreamed my brother's unit got put on the front lines in Afghanistan. Naturally, when I woke up, I didn't want to go back to sleep.

Did I forget to mention my brother is in Afghanistan?

[Esuohlim]

Yeah, but he didn't!

Hopefully not for a while. I got to Afghanistan in three days!

[Kitsa]

I had a dream that kahl, fathom and zhukov were in. It was pretty weird.

Basically, they owned a restaurant jointly. The restaurant had a big firepit off to one side and a sort of pink, tarplike awning around a square bar in the middle. Fathom was all obsessed with Voltaire for some reason and would write passages, and his interpretation of them, in white chalk on the awning. Then he would invite other people to try, and when someone raised their chalk to write, he would bat it out of their hand and scream, "NO! YOU DON'T GET IT AT ALL!" and go off and cry somewhere.

Kahl tended bar and was generally surly. Zhukov managed American football players and traded between teams for big profit.

I had tequila in a margarita before I went to bed, that might have been it. It was a fun dream, though. I didn't want to wake up.

[Fathom Zero]

I can't remember anything written in dreams. It's a bummer.

[LordSappington]

I have a string of plastic eyeballs around my bed, that light up when I plug them in. The other night, I distinctly remember waking up at 3AM or so, groggily reach around on my wall for the other end of them, and rip them entirely off the wall, drop them off the side of the bed, and going back to sleep.
Dunno why I did that; they weren't plugged in or anything.

[Kitsa]

I can't remember anything written in dreams. It's a bummer.


I can't remember what you wrote, which sucks because I would love to know the dream-views you had on Voltaire. All I remember is you freaking out when someone else tried to weigh in and slapping the chalk out of their hands and then running off to cry like a bitch. :lol

Dream-you needs to be less of a prima donna when it comes to French philosophy and literature. :themoreyouknow

[Fathom Zero]

I only like Candide. :\

[Kitsa]

I did a big book-purge when bookcases were literally falling over on me; I got rid of most of my literature. I think I have one of his histories and maaaaybe an ancient copy of Zaire somewhere and some Moliere stuff. And Sade, lots of Sade.

[Dr. V]

I'm indoors, in some kind of huge room. I seem to be floating down a river. Sort of like an in door "lazy river" from a water park. The room is very well lit, and has a light blue color all over with some kind of line shapes carved into the walls. In the river is me, a companion of mine, (no idea who he is just a person I "feel" like I know) and several other random strangers. The strangers are floating in front of me in a group. On the walls in front of us as we float by are several large objects that relate to my life. A giant picture of my face, a chef coat (I'm a culinary student) papers and other things. All the time we're floating the strangers are shouting "There he is!" over and over as they see the objects, like seeing them gives the some kind of comfort or relief from a fear. At one point my "friend" and I realize that there's a drop coming up. Like something in a water ride where the boat you're in drops into a lower level (think pirates of the caribbean if you've ever ridden that) After we drop things get even weirder. First the water turns into mud, and the group of strangers begin to wail in fear. The room has changed into a dimly lit brown colored tunnel. Like a hallway in an underground storage place. Now instead of objects on the walls, the tunnel is littered with what I can only describe as engines. But not car engines. You know when people build up motorcycles and they have those engines with the thick swirling tailpipes? Like that but very big and loud. They're on the "bank" of the river, in the mud/water, and the group is seeing them and again screaming, "There he is! There he is!" Only now they seemed much more panicked. As I shove the engines out of the way the friend and I say something to each other I can't quite remember but it was something along the lines of this is going to get worse. Again there's a drop and we fall into the next level. The strangers are wailing and screaming even more. The tunnel has transformed into a dark "temple" setting. Stone walls, torches providing what little light there was. As we float down the river in what has now become a thick black tar, the only thing I can make out on the bank are snakes. Huge snakes rising up tall. They may have been statues or living, not sure. Some stood sideways, some stood facing us, following us. Again the group seeing these snakes screamed in terror, "THERE HE IS!!" Over and over they screamed it.


Let me go back a bit. I only dream in the early morning. During this morning I went through this dream to this point twice. Everything exactly the same. The first time it ended at this point.


The second it did not.


As we float in the sludge, my friend and I talk. We agree that this has to end somehow. That it's going to get much worse. I don't see it coming but we hit the last drop. The sludge is gone and we're back in what I assume is water. There is no sound. No light save for some kind of aura, albeit small, emanating from me. Almost like distant moonlight reflecting on moving water. Complete silence from the strangers. I don't even think they made it this far. Then I feel it. A feeling of my entire body beginning to denature. I see my hands disintegrate. In a pale bluish light my limbs turn into nothing from the tips to my body. Then up to my torso, then my neck. Then my head. Nothing is left. I wake up.

[kahljorn]

I'm the least surly tender ever

[Fathom Zero]

Hung out with Liev Schreiber last night. We swapped emails. He was pretty cool. Spilt the tea I made, though.

[Zhukov]

That's the fakest dream I've ever heard.

[Kitsa]

My mom and I were grocery shopping in the dream, and we had to use the restroom. So we went in there, and all of a sudden it was the restroom of some nightclub or something. There were all of these moderately scary women hanging out around the stalls, and they told us to come back tomorrow. They gave us shopping bags filled with odd things like half-used bottles of chocolate syrup, and I remember telling my mom not to use the rest of it.

[NatRatBat]

I had a dream that I was flying once, then like mid-dream it changed to one where I was eating rocks and my teeth got all jagged and sharp. Then I started running around opening and closing my mouth and saying "He did the monster mash."
It was weird and funny when I woke up but at the time while I was dreaming it was kind of scary, I'm not sure why.

[Esuohlim]

I was getting a blowjob from two girls from Battlestar Galactica :| :| 8]

[Big McLargehuge]

My father was Don Draper and we were out of town at a wedding. We were sharing the same bedroom and he was giving me advice about picking up women, he told me the key to a ladies heart is the blanket she grew up loving and raw gold nuggets.

[Kitsa]

"(Don't Fear) the Reaper" on a loop.

:(

[Kitsa]

Undead Johnny Carson was coming to town to give awards to people for some sort of film and art criteria that only made sense to him.

I'd qualified for the awards ceremony on three different works: one art "piece" and two films that I'd apparently been in. (For example, in the dream I was in "Annie", and he said that we all deserved an award because the film encouraged "social cautiousness".) The other movie was some sort of documentary about Ohio, and the art piece was a baby wipe that had been torn in half and placed on a pedestal. Everyone made a big deal about what great and sophisticated art it was, but all I could see was a baby wipe, and I had this whole crowd around me as I arranged it on the pedestal for the show.

Everything was orange-themed. We had to eat food like orange cupcakes and some weird orange pellets in a bag, and I came home to a house where I was tripping over beds because everyone I knew was in town and sleeping over for the ceremony.

Then when the ceremony finally happened, he was making people do stunts to win the prizes. I was hanging back and asking people, "How the hell is this going to work?" when I woke up :(

[BurningSquirrel]

I had a dream where I was eaten by Tigger by Winnie-the-Pooh. Don't ask.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I hate tigger. He's a blight on the thousand acre woods.

[Kitsa]

I had a dream that our garage door was miraculously fixed. Then I woke up and it still wasn't.

[Grislygus]

I hate tigger. He's a blight on the thousand acre woods.

FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU

[executioneer]

scandalise some tiggers :eek

[Babs]

I did a big book-purge when bookcases were literally falling over on me; I got rid of most of my literature. I think I have one of his histories and maaaaybe an ancient copy of Zaire somewhere and some Moliere stuff. And Sade, lots of Sade.

What kind of Sade? Could I MAYBE borrow a couple if so? Honestly, I would return each and everyone.

[Kitsa]

Some biographies and a battered copy of Justine somewhere. It's all stuff that's relatively easy to find on ebay or in used bookstores or whatever.

[Big McLargehuge]

Yeah Babs did you know you could buy books? :rolleyes. On topic I have always had dreams in which my teeth fall out. What does this mean? :(

[The Leader]

radiation poisoning

[The Leader]

Or that you're growing up. :eek

[Big McLargehuge]

Oh no i am growing from radiation! Do we have a mad scientist in the house who could help me with my dreams?

[Fathom Zero]

In interpreting dreams into omens, teeth that fall out mean you're coming into money soon.

[Babs]

Or your having money troubles.

[Big McLargehuge]

:eek

[Kitsa]

I dreamed that my family was living compound-style with lots of other people. I disliked that my computer was in the common area, so I had it moved to my room. I just happened to glance up and see what looked like a cross between a spider and a centipede descending from the ceiling. When the light hit it right, the legs were this beautiful iridescent blue. Then it reached my keyboard and flattened out for a moment and it looked exactly like the eye of a peacock tail feather. But it was a spider or whatever.

I dream-said, "I didn't even know I needed to worry about that!"

[executioneer]

i started out dreaming i was stealing trucks (using test-driving them as a pretext to get the keys). after four or five successful thefts I decided to go out and try to steal one last truck (it was getting dark). when i get to the house it is on fire, and i hear someone crying inside. I run into the living room, and on the walls the words "OH GOD PLEASE NO" is painted in what looks disturbingly like blood. I head towards the source of the crying and see a lady curled up on a bed. I yell at her "come on we gotta get out of here", then I notice she's tightly clutching the weeks-dead corpse of a child. giving up on her, i run into another bedroom and there's another child corpse in another bed. i woke up as i was running for the exit

[Fathom Zero]

The case was leading me around in circles; I had to see Alfred Woden.

[executioneer]

yeah did i mention the lady was pushing her face into a gross putrefied corpse

EW

[Kitsa]

Dean Winters and I were Amish for some reason and had to team up selling pink-wrappered candy bars to gas stations. He was delightful company. :eek

[Zhukov]

So I was on top of the roof at a primary school, and it was really, really high up for some reason, and I was terrified. To add to this, the monkey bars from the play ground were also up there, and I was on top of the monkey bars. There was a woman and a man up there with me, and I was showing them how talented I was with a high caliber rifle by shooting people from extreme ranges without using the scope.

[Kitsa]

Were you shooting kids?

[Zhukov]

Ha, that's the first thing my friend asked, too.

I honestly don't know. THEY WERE ALL JUST TARGETS TO ME.

[The Leader]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_Arthur_massacre_%28Australia%29 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_Arthur_massacre_%28Australia%29)

[Kitsa]

I had a dream that I was at some huge skyscraper version of an old school of mine. The elevators didn't work well, and I was saying goodbye to one of my friends again. Then I was introducing my daughter to the kindergarten teacher, and my daughter looked like she was suddenly a gangly 9 year old. The teacher said, "She must have been born in 2009, right?"

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I had a dream where me and my friend Bob, two girls and I were going to the megaplex with new technology that lets you go into the world of the Forgotten Realms and fight dudes. We were all ready to start the movie when the usher told everyone to throw their rocks at the ground to teleport in. I was like "I don't have any rocks." Usher guy was like "Well, look around. All you need is a regular rock sir." Everyone threw their rocks and got in while I looked around. There's no rocks hanging out inside a movie complex. So I went to a theme park instead and got a 7-Up.

[LordSappington]

I had a dream last night, where a friend of mine took me to what she said was a really cool artist lounge that she liked. It turned out to be like some huge, underground attic, with subchambers and stuff, and made out of metal. It was full of bums and mentally handicapped people, who wouldn't leave me alone. Then, she had some friend meet us there; a tall guy everyone called Blade. He seemed like a nice guy. Then, later on, we saw him stab some guy to death, and he saw us watching. So now we're running from him, and he's looking all over the city for us. Everyone is warning me that he's looking for me, and my friend is just saying that there's no way he'd hurt anyone, and he's a nice guy, and I'm trying to tell her that she's fucking stupid and we're dead if he finds us.
Then I woke up and immediately ran to the bathroom to vomit. Fucking vertigo.

[Esuohlim]

Thanks to the MST thread and a couple of recent binges I had a dream where I was riffing with a buddy of mine and Seven Force while somebody was playing Super Mario Bros. We were really bad at it. :(

[Shrubfest]

Dream one: I had to kill a tank full of fish by squashing them like a flower press.

Dream two: My mum died and I had to plan her funeral and all the other stuff you do when someone dies.

Dream three: The guys from big bang theory got to see raiders of the lost ark with the extra seconds of footage.

I slept badly.

[Kitsa]

I was the defendant in some court case and apparently I decided the whole going-to-court thing was optional. I spent the rest of the dream wondering if my not showing up would irritate the judge and prejudice her against my case.

[Kitsa]

Had another Dean Winters Amish dream. This time, he was a travel guide for some group I was with and he kicked me out of the group. Then he informed me he was confiscating the dowel rods I'd bought for some sort of garden structure.

The last I remember is being stranded on the prairie in Amish clothes, watching Dean Winters toting my dowel rods and walking away.

I have no freaking clue why my brain would equate Dean Winters with Amish, or tour guides, or dowel rods, or gardens.

[MailCall]

One of these days, when I have a little more prestige on this Board, I will post my infamous "Kukla, Fran and Ollie" dream.

[Pentegarn]

I posted that awhile ago

[Fathom Zero]

http://www.mediafire.com/?r7d2hdu5nxyhph5

Made halfway between asleep and awake. I laughed so hard at me.

And this makes me want to do I-Mockery Masterpiece Theater again.

[Sacks]

The other night I had a weird dream and all I remember is talking to this native american warrior. I said "Whats uncanny?" and he just said "Jars."



I've had a few dreams that involve really weird dumb jokes.

[Kitsa]

Russell Brand lived in a clean, attic-y, crawlspace-y sort of place in a large farmhouse with his dream-parents out in the country somewhere. They made a living by taking portraits of people and pets in fake old-time clothing. They also wanted my business as a daycare, which was unfortunate because although Russell's attic was clean, the house was overrun with all manner of insects. At one point in the dream I was sitting at the table, looking through portrait sample books, and I looked down to see several large scorpions, a larger-than-life praying mantis, some spiders, and two slugs the size of small rats.

The portrait books were another thing. In the dream, I must have known that Russell Brand was ordinarily a famous person because I assumed he would be included in the portraits somehow, but he wasn't. They were mostly pictures of teenage friends, dressed in ridiculous big floppy hats with the big ostrich feathers, and some with heads cut out for dogs' heads to stick through (with large stickers that said, WE'VE INCLUDED A HOLE FOR THE HEAD AS WELL).

Sometimes the dream branched off and followed the two younger women from "As Time Goes By". They were being reunited and were being pulled by rickshaw through an outdoor shopping mall. Sometimes they stopped to eat and the blonde would ask a question, and the other woman would tell her to stop.

Then they'd go take turns sleeping with Russell Brand in his attic.

...I didn't even take any cold medicine before I had this dream.

[Womti]

i usually dream about heaven for some reason :\

[All Hail Duke]

one i had yesterday-i was in the overlook hotel as both myself and jack, went into room 237 and nailed the old woman (seperately)

had my eyes closed during this because i (we..whatever) knew who/what was on the receiving end


worst dream i've had in my life

[Zhukov]

So I was involved in some kind of crime ring or diamond trade business stuff, and it was my job to take the African children down the train line and shoot them. After that I got the other children to bury them in the huge piles of dirt that we seemed to be digging. Also, some of them had Kuru.

[Kitsa]

You're getting violent there in dreamland, Zhukov.

I dreamed I was au pair to the Obamas, and they had a son who was born in Indonesia. He was getting together some sort of presentation for his parents and drawing pictures of traditional Indonesian masks (?). He was all worked up because they weren't perfect, and I said they don't have to be perfect, and then I got in trouble for thinking that a picture drawn by President Obama's son wasn't perfect.

Also, they didn't pay me.

[King Hadas]

Last night I had one of those dreams that are mostly too convoluted to try and describe. At one point though I walked into my dream brother's room and saw he was playing a game that looked very familiar. In my dream I identified it as Echo Night but when I woke up I realized it was from a different dream I'd had years ago, a Silent Hill 4 style game set in an early 20th century bungalow. And I was then reminded of a ton of other survival horror themed dreams I'd had in the past. I guess this is what it's like to have repressed memories.

[Kitsa]

Last night I had one of many dreams set in a sort of hospital/shopping mall place. The bad part was that the long, silver escalators were unpredictable. You'd get on one and it'd all of a sudden speed up and you'd be flying downwards or upwards. The speed was enough to either slam you into the floor on the bottom or flip you into the air on the top. It was more terrifying in the dream than it sounds here.

[Kitsa]

I was witness to a knock-down, drag-out fight in a supermarket where people were throwing frozen hams and turkeys at each other.

[Zhukov]

^ is that one real or a dream?

[MarioRPG]

Had a dream that I was working at a waiter at a nice restaraunt, and a customer (my cousin) complained about his drink. He said I put too much ice in it. Subsequently, I was scolded by a manager.

Analyze please.

[King Hadas]

The ice represents your cool nonchalance towards your family, thus why your cousin complains. The restaurant represents your restless distraught from knowing that the reaper is always waiting.

[Kitsa]

the ham and turkey battle was only a dream, although I wish I could be witness to such a badass thing in real life.

[Izlude]

I was on an airplane. And somehow I was sitting in coach, but at the same time watching what was going on in the cockpit.

You know how dreams are.

Anyway, so apparently Will Farrell and John C. Reilly were in the cockpit behind the pilots. Except, they werent funny. They were assholes. They shanked the pilots and took over flying the plane.

However, some how while they were flying they stopped being jerks (or I guess they still were, but...) and started being funny-ish. I couldnt make out what they were saying, but they were laughing. So I'm pretty sure I was too. Cause you know, they are funny guys.

Anyway, it cuts back to me in my seat and now theres these two girls, really attractive, blonde, kinda steriotypical ya know? Anyway, they are stading in the isle talking about gaming nerds and how they are annoying.

At this point I'm feeling pretty bad. Hot girls are basically saying I suck, and two of my favorite commedians are homicidal sociopaths.

Back to the cockpit.

WF and JCR are gone. Whos piloting the plane? No one.

A stewardess who looks kinda like sonia blade from the Mortal Kombat movie (the first one) comes in and shes all like "wtf" except, she didnt say that. A speech bubble appears and had the letters "wtf" in it.

Back to me in the isle.

I'm now verticle and am pretty sure were about to crash. But I look and see that the two nerd-hatin girls from before just fell down the isle and busted their heads, so I think they died. That was kinda bitter sweet.


Any way. I wake up as I see the ground about to make contact with us but realize its another dream. But this dream that I wake up into wasnt a good one and it was a personal and very upsetting one so I'll stop here.


Anyway, that was like the night before last. But still pretty weird.

[Kitsa]

I was in some sort of school/medical building and was due to have both a class and a procedure in an office on one of the upper floors. As I went up the elevator, I began to sweat cold icewater and dabbed my face off with a giant maxipad. As I was doing so, I felt a growth on the corner of my forehead. I kept going back to feel it and every time I did it got bigger and bigger.

I finally stepped out of the elevator and my classmates were looking at me in horror. Then I saw myself from the outside (sort of switched to watching-a-movie mode) and it wasn't the growth they were staring at, but the fact that my face was weirdly swollen and leathery, like I'd gotten a ton of bee stings.

edit: the growth on my head felt so real that for a few minutes after I woke up I kept feeling for it.

[Babs]

Just had an Anti Christ type dream where a small child was in cased in a concrete sarcophagus which was laid in the middle of a cathedral type building with approximately 4 stained glass windows surrounding the room, all which leaked in murky light which were cascaded with cluttered cobwebs. I kept waking in out of dreaming, kind of like night terrors but every time I woke up, I would keep seeing these teeth growing out of my Tourist Trap poster. You know when you just wake up from a dream and you hallucinate a little in reality? Yeah that kept happening and then that last image I would see would come with me into my dreams. So at this point I'm dreaming of the Anti Christ being born out of a sarcophagus while this mannequin face man comes walking in through the cathedral doors in the front in druid type clothing with saber tooth teeth protruding from its mouth.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_D1ZZyTOG7tQ/S3pqeac2qII/AAAAAAAAGmM/k9_gXjOTIJY/s400/Tourist+Trap+1979+Poster.jpg
Really quite terrifying but still very interesting.

[Kitsa]

Every time I glance at that Tourist Trap poster I think it's Linda Lovelace.

[All Hail Duke]

looks like The Shape w/ a glasgow smile

[The Retro Kat]

I had the weirdest dream that I was actually eating a woman out. She was mature, older, and Kitsa's mother. i get wierd dreams where i eat out woman all the tiem, but wat made this one odd was that her vajina had this occult taste of a mixture between jam and those fucking shitty wax paper candies that everyone hates getting at Halloween. The smell? Oh girl, the the smell was liek if someone drank their urine, vomitted it out, and took a liquid poop on it. it Was horribel. On top of that, i was picking variously shaped cupcake sprinkles out of the beaver. It was weird, but i guess not the weirdest dream ive ever had.

[Kitsa]

GUNNA MAKE THIS BOARD ALL HARD AND SHIT AGAIN

[Tadao]

I got hard reading that. :(

[LordSappington]

I had a dream last night that Japan had risen as a military power again, and it had come up with a sort of virus that turned pretty much everyone in Japan into these insane, fleshy monstrosities, which they considered a step up in evolution. So, most of Japan was covered in fused bodies of writhing meat and sharp jaws and eyes everywhere, while all sorts of mutated people were wandering the streets, taking out soldiers trying to contain it all.
It then cut to my house, where I opened the garage door, and there was some zombie-like guy in the street, shambling after kids. For some reason I had an MP5 on the couch in the garage, and started firing semi-auto into his head. He just kept shambling towards me, pieces of him flying off, until he hit the ground and started mutating into one of the things like in Japan.
It was extremely vivid, too; it was really unsettling. Then I got woken up at 7 by my niece riding around the house in her plastic tricycle while screaming at the dogs. I'm not sure which world is better now.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed last night that I bought cocaine online, with a credit card, I think because I thought it was a joke. Then when I went to other stores and made other purchases, the word COCAINE was printed at the top of every receipt. All of the cashiers said, "So you use this card primarily for cocaine, ma'am?"

I've never done cocaine.

Then I fell back asleep and had a dream about this bitchy old Brethren woman who stopped to admire my dog in a field. Brethren are religious conservatives here who dress sort of Amish-y, but not quite, and don't have the same rules. People around here call them "German Baptists" for whatever reason. Anyway, the woman stopped to admire my dog and then she whipped out a cell phone and said, "We'll see about this" and called some 800# on my dog's collar, either to verify that it was really mine or to verify its pedigree or something. I don't know. I was mad.

[kahljorn]

:lol

SO YOU USE THIS CARD PRIMARILY FOR COCAINE, MAAM

[Kitsa]

I dreamed I had a plane to catch, and it was the day after bin Laden was killed. I went to the airport and I knew I was supposed to get on a plane with this small group of other people, but I didn't have a boarding pass. The stewardess laughed at me. Apparently the plane was scheduled to take off at noon but didn't really leave until two, so she told me to go somewhere and wait. I went to a reptile store and looked at that stuff. I don't think I ever got on the plane.

[Pram Maven]

I had a dream earlier, while sitting here in this chair. In it, a giant cob of corn started popping its kernels in my face and when it stopped burning me with the popping, it smiled. Engraved on each tooth was a letter spelling out this URL.

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20178

It had a lot of teeth!

[Fathom Zero]

I had a dream where all my negatives were over-exposed. It's the first stress and life-induced nightmare I can remember.

[Kitsa]

I had my first "hidden room full of awesome toys" dream in years. I love having those dreams.

I'm always in a house that has a curving back staircase. There's a little door to the right and I go in, and there are big stacks of cardboard boxes with every toy I ever had or wanted as a kid. The rest of the dream is me happily sorting through the boxes.

[Zhukov]

Thought you said "awesome boys" there Kitsa.

[Kitsa]

you're thinking of Pubbles.

[Esuohlim]

What does mean when you dream about murdering a whole basement full of people you've never met? :(

I even picked up a rocking chair and crushed someone's neck with it :(

[Kitsa]

No idea. However, I dreamed about Oprah last night. She was the evil ruler of wherever it was I was staying, and I peeped in a room at one point and it was like her secret sleeping-on-the-floor lair, like those movies where they come upon Dracula asleep in his coffin.

[Zhukov]

What does mean when you dream about murdering a whole basement full of people you've never met? :(

I even picked up a rocking chair and crushed someone's neck with it :(

It just means you are perfectly fine.

[LordSappington]

I took 4mg of diazepam for my vertigo attack last night, and had the best sleep I've had in months. My dream was pretty geeky. The best part was when I somehow got these little creeper figurines. Now I want those creepers. :(

[Shrubfest]

All my dreams are coming true as of late. And they're all awful.

[Zhukov]

I had a dream come true a few pages back in this thread, I think. It was only about running out of toilet paper though.

[Kitsa]

I watched Bridezillas last night and this woman was on:

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/bridezillascari.jpg

...so naturally she made an unwelcome appearance in my dream later.

I dreamed I went to her house to buy a big dining room table from her. She was being generally bitchy and dismissive for someone who was trying to sell a table. I would ask her a question and she wouldn't even look up at me, she'd just say "I don't know" and continue to text. The table was disassembled, and I asked her where the legs were.

"I don't know." (text text text)

So I looked around and found four possible candidates for the table legs. Two were round and varnished, two were square and painted mustard-yellow. I said, "are these the legs?"

"I don't know." (text text text)

At that point in the dream I was getting pretty pissed off at her and I saw this steep stairway to her attic behind the table. I decided to climb the stairway and hunt for the legs up there. On my way up, I happened to glance up and see a small round window at the top of the staircase. Splayed out in the window (which was about the diameter of a basketball) was a spider large enough to completely cover it.

I went whoooaaaaa and slid backwards down the staircase, told her those table legs were just fine, and scuttled out of there.

End of dream.

[sspadowsky]

I dreamed that I went to Los Angeles for some reason; why, I do not know, as I would never go there unless it was unavoidable. I parked my old car that I haven't owned for a few years at Jay Leno's restaurant (don't remember what it was called, but in the dream, Jay Leno owned the goddamn place), where I was going to meet an ex-girlfriend from several years ago. I came back to find my car gone. I didn't know if it was stolen or towed, and for the rest of the dream Jay Leno was trying to help me figure out what happened to it. I vaguely remember nearly shooting a fat greasy-looking guy because he looked like a tow truck driver.

My dreams are stupid.

[Zhukov]

Everyone's dreams are stupid.


I dreamed I was back on the farm I lived on when I was a wee lad, and I was on guard duty. The neighbours had released their horse sized rooster into our paddock, and it was attacking our horse, and when I went in to put a stop to it (how do you stop a horse sized rooster? Fuck knows) things turned ugly.

There was a guy driving around the paddock in a small hatchback, and he was doing burnouts and hollering, so I got my machine gun and chased him out of his car and down to the creek. He was about to get away when I asked my best friend from primary school if he had a gun I could borrow, which he did, but when I went to continue the chase I realised that it was only a tiny wooden gun on a key ring... and my adversary had a huge sledgehammer.

Somewhere along the line I got my machine gun back and my adversary jumped into the creek, I fired two grenades from the under slung grenade launcher - which missed - and two bursts of gunfire before I ran out of ammo. My adversary turned into a woman who I have had a crush on for the past month, and tried coming up for air. Despite protests from various standers-by, I beat her/him to death with the butt of my gun.

I remember thinking that drowning was a terrible way to die, and I don't know if the death was caused by drowning or being beaten with a gun.

[ThrashO]

I had a dream that me and my room mate and his brother went to the beach and were going to camp there, while getting wood for a fire my room mates brother buried himself in a huge pile of sand except for his head sticking out. And the ol' butter fingers I am I crushed his head with a huge rock.

I didnt know what to say to my room mate so I just buried him deeper and told him I didnt know where he went.

Then I accidently killed my room mate the same way. wierd shit.

[Mad Melvin]

I dreamt that Porcupine Tree came to play in my town. The gig was in this sleazy and cheap nighclub for some reason. I was still excited, 'cause i've liked the band for years and was hoping to hear some new material.

And I did.

The gig was on the dance floor and there was no one else from the band expect the lead singer, Steven Wilson. DJ announced him on the stage and he came to the dance floor with a microphone and started rapping about "Big booty bitches" and proceeded to make some awkward brakedance moves. I was so dissapointed and embarrassed for him, that I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, but all of the exits were locked. Thank god I woke up, so I didn't have to see the rest of the show.

[LordSappington]

I had a dream last night, in which I somehow acquired an old warehouse. For some reason, it had all the stuff for a brewery inside, as well as stuff for a bakery and coffeeshop, so I let my friend take over the brewery and my girlfriend the bakery and coffeeshop. Then, I started off selling all-organic tomatoes, and used the profit to buy apples, and the next thing I knew I had like the most successful organic superstore in the world.
I've been working too much.

[Kitsa]

I had a dream last night, in which I somehow acquired an old warehouse. For some reason, it had all the stuff for a brewery inside, as well as stuff for a bakery and coffeeshop, so I let my friend take over the brewery and my girlfriend the bakery and coffeeshop. Then, I started off selling all-organic tomatoes, and used the profit to buy apples, and the next thing I knew I had like the most successful organic superstore in the world.
I've been working too much.

Sounds like you're playing Farmville too much.

[Fathom Zero]

I had a dream where I was in a band with RoG and he was playing the saxophone and I was playing a bass. It was a Morphine dream or something.

I suppose I should stop listening to music while I sleep.

[Pentegarn]

Last night I dreamed I was on a softball rec team with most of the 1984 Detroit Tigers.

Lance Parrish and Kirk Gibson weren't on the team though, so I played right field and kept insisting we needed a fat guy to play catcher because (in the dream I thought this for some reason) "fat guys make good softball catchers"

[Kitsa]

Had a really fucked-up dream last night. I was going to visit my great-grandmother, who's been dead for 15 or so years. She was living in a really filthy house and being cared for by two distant cousins of mine, who seemed to have a real problem with me visiting and were sort of bitchy and trying to get me out of there.

There were cats all over the place (she never had cats?), and piles of cat-shit and those hairballs that sort of look like flat gray cat-shit. One of the cats was groomed like a scottie-dog and was this weird, vivid shade of purple. I picked it up and it had purple eyes, too. I remarked how weird and beautiful it was and that I'd never seen a purple cat before.

She said, "Well, you can take that one home with you." And I was protesting because I never meant I wanted to TAKE her purple cat, I was just admiring it. But she insisted and was getting out a cage or something for me to take it back home in.

I was helping her look when I found a slip of paper that said "Be Frank Zappa for a day." I picked it up and instantly inhabited Frank Zappa's body. I mean, I looked down and here was this hairy male body in black pants and a wifebeater. I looked in the mirror, and damned if I wasn't Frank Zappa.

And then I woke up.

[executioneer]

well except for the neglected great-grandmother that sounds like a goddamn awesome dream

[Pentegarn]

Had a really fucked-up dream last night. I was going to visit my great-grandmother, who's been dead for 15 or so years. She was living in a really filthy house and being cared for by two distant cousins of mine, who seemed to have a real problem with me visiting and were sort of bitchy and trying to get me out of there.

There were cats all over the place (she never had cats?), and piles of cat-shit and those hairballs that sort of look like flat gray cat-shit. One of the cats was groomed like a scottie-dog and was this weird, vivid shade of purple. I picked it up and it had purple eyes, too. I remarked how weird and beautiful it was and that I'd never seen a purple cat before.

She said, "Well, you can take that one home with you." And I was protesting because I never meant I wanted to TAKE her purple cat, I was just admiring it. But she insisted and was getting out a cage or something for me to take it back home in.

I was helping her look when I found a slip of paper that said "Be Frank Zappa for a day." I picked it up and instantly inhabited Frank Zappa's body. I mean, I looked down and here was this hairy male body in black pants and a wifebeater. I looked in the mirror, and damned if I wasn't Frank Zappa.

And then I woke up.

The dream was mundane till that last paragraph, then it became hilarious :lol

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dream - every hour I worked would unlock 1 minute of tv watching. Every word someone said to me while watching tv drained my account by an additional minute. My gf was talking to me and zeroed out my tv time of an hour show to five minutes of it.

[Otto]

A recurring theme in my dreams lately has been me meeting celebrities. But not like your average plastic-faced movie stars, rather, I keep dreaming about weird situations with the likes of Tom Waits, The Green Man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Robinson_%28Green_Man%29) (whose legend used to be the subject of multiple childhood nightmares), Tor Johnson, and Robert Crumb.

My two favorites are:

Getting in a fight with Tor Johnson, initiated when sneezed on me and I smashed a bottle of bourbon on his head which made him scream "ED WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU!" and drop-kick me into a pile of oil drums.

Tom Waits and myself riding a gigantic antique Electrolux vacuum cleaner down a crowded street while he spits on, and cusses at people who get in the way.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Getting in a fight with Tor Johnson, initiated when sneezed on me and I smashed a bottle of bourbon on his head which made him scream "ED WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU!" and drop-kick me into a pile of oil drums.

:lol

What does mean when you dream about murdering a whole basement full of people you've never met? :(

I even picked up a rocking chair and crushed someone's neck with it :(

:lol

Let the violence commence.

[Otto]

:lol



:lol

Let the violence commence.

As soon as I woke up I was like "Fuck, why did I do that? He was a goddamned wrestler."

[LordSappington]

This one's just full of random, stupid shit.
It starts off with me working at Randall's, except my manager is now a pretty nice black man, and the store is a bit different. Someone decided to mix the salads in the cold case together, so we had stuff like broccoli salad and potato salad mixed in, and I was just serving it because I didn't even care anymore. While I was doing stuff, people would walk behind the counters and lift the glass case and just serve themselves stuff from it, and I was getting pissed at them for it, and went on lunch. In the break room, the World's Littlest Mouse was trying to put a blue hat away, and couldn't reach, so I helped him put it up. Then I realized, "Hey, Littlest Mouse, you're not a mouse at all! You're a damn spider!", and he got upset and said "Don't tell anyone or I'll get fired! No one else knows I'm a spider!", so I didn't tell anyone because he was a cool guy.
"So I'm on lunch and trying to find the Wendy's, but first I end up in an Applebee's, and then a Lowe's. Eventually, I gave up and started heading home, where I ran into my girlfriend, who was wearing some sort of shirt made out of bubblewrap, but not transparent. She was talking about how she had a sticker on her back that she didn't want to take off because it hurt, and I kept trying to take it off her and she would freak out. We went back to my house, and my dad had what looked like a fly tattoo on his eyebrow. I asked him about it, and He said "They're stitches; I hit my head on the microwave today." I looked over at the microwave, which had a comically sized dent on the top of it.
That was about when I woke up. How the fuck do our brains come up with this crap?

[Supafly345]

I had a dream where one of the women from Grey's Anatomy (she was an anonymous generic woman, as I have never seen the show, I just knew she was from grey's somehow) was also Dr House from house. And I saw her take off her hair and put on a house costume and suddenly she looked like Dr House. However when she changed back to the woman from Grey's, she just looked like House with a blond wig on.

BTW: I haven't seen the show House since its first season.

[creeposaurus]

I had a dream I was watching my dying relative being eaten alive by red ants. They were crawling in and out of him carrying little chunks of his meat. It looked like parts of his body were deflated and shit. Weird.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

They normally tell you what you need to accomplish or act as subconcious reminders of things you need to do during the day actually.

My dreams tought me how to type faster one week in high school by just dreaming about where the different letters were on the keyboard.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed that a friend and I were invited to a party given by Lou Reed in a giant sort of bounce house thing. Then he held us hostage there, even though we kind of knew that coming in. Turns out he expected some sort of Playboy Mansion orgy scenario, and we weren't into it. My friend got out by jumping the wall, and I got out by correctly identifying some sort of antique jewelry that was laid out on the other side of the bounce house mesh.

Also, Lou Reed had that evil behind-the-desk persona of a Die Hard villain.

In the last part of the dream, my friend had gone on to host a talk show out of her kitchen. Marie Osmond was her scheduled guest, but Donny showed up instead and sneaked around the kitchen while she wasn't looking, rearranging all the cups and mugs in her pantry.

[Otto]

Donny showed up instead and sneaked around the kitchen while she wasn't looking, rearranging all the cups and mugs in her pantry.

So today I learned that I can apparently broadcast my paranoid delusions but the only person that can pick them up is Kitsa.

[Kitsa]

There's a thought.

[Phoenix Gamma]

I have recurring dreams where I'm back in high school Spanish class. Except I'm 23 so I forgot everything I know about Spanish, and the teacher STILL has a grudge against me. Everyone else in the class knows everything and aces the test while I sit there pantomiming writing praying she doesn't realize I don't know shit.

This has been happening maybe three times this past week, and the weird thing is that there's been continuity between them. Every time I wake up in a panic and have to remind myself for a good 2 minutes that I graduated college.

Not the weirdest dream I've had, but it's been freaking me out the most right now :(

[Phoenix Gamma]

Okay, here's a weird one: I just dreamed that I was a figment of Selena Gomez's imagination, manifested as a scarecrow (there were a lot of strawman puns). I had to use my imaginary powers to:

- Unite two cities in africa that were arguing about something I forget because I didn't care
- Help my friends win a dance competition
- Teach a little girl how to stop being an annoying cunt so she could make friends. I think she might have had a mental problem, in retrospect.

I fucked everything up in the end, so I used my imagination powers to wipe myself out from imaginary existence. :(

[Pram Maven]

I dreamt that there was an I-Mockery event and I went to it. Rog was there, and I showed him a bunch of arts and crafts projects, McGuyver-style.

In the dream I was like a cross between Mr. Wizard and Alice Cooper.

[Zomboid]

Did you follow that up by lynching some people, you racist scum?

[Pram Maven]

:ring, :ring

Phone's for you, Zomboid. It's Salem,1692. They want their blind accusations back.

[Pentegarn]

Wow. you told an old joke both badly and incorrectly

[Shyandquietguy]

PRAM MAVEN PRAM MAVEN PRAM MAVEN

[Kitsa]

I dreamed I was either staying or working at a wilderness-themed Canadian resort. The only inhabitants, though, were me and Johnny Depp, and he never left his shower stall, so I pretty much had the place to myself.

So most of the dream was just me having the run of the place, and then I walked out into the big lobby area and here comes some huge family and they're all grinning and shaking my hand and expecting some big, nice Canadian vacation, and I realize that there is absolutely nothing left in the way of food or whatever to give them.

So the last part of the dream is me running frantically from store to store in a strip mall, looking for some sort of little debbie snack cake (I don't think it really exists, but it should) that was shaped like a maple leaf, was white cake filled with a maple cream filling, and covered in maple icing. That, and coffee and stuff, and I realized when I was about to make my purchase that I had left my money at the resort.

No fear, though, because there were large wads of bills on the floor and kids were grabbing them. I thought my problems were solved, then I looked closer at the bills and saw that they were weird denominations ($17, $24) and had ethnic slurs about Turkish people in fine print, so they probably were not real.

Real exciting dream.

[kahljorn]

i dreamt that pram maven thought he knew mock on a personal level and could call him rog
it made everybody uncomfortable and also hate him more

[MarioRPG]

Ok holy smokes did I ever have a weird (and short!) dream. I watched Die Hard two days ago, PS.

So, it's me, my friend Brian, my manager from work, and some girl. We're on the top of the building from Die Hard because now we all work there as office types. I only know it's the Die Hard building because Brian told me "I only work here because of die hard". Anyway, we decide it would be a great place to put a basketball court. So, of course one is there, on the roof, and we talk about how it'd be good for breaks and stuff.
so we play a bit and then send the girl to get us some chocolate milks. She returns and drops one and it spills all over center court. My manager says she has to clean it because she brought them up but she argues it's our responsibility because we asked for them.

And that's it. wat

[Fathom Zero]

Last night I invented a guitar.

I should actually try and make it coz it looked pretty cool.

[Kitsa]

Do it.


I dreamed that I grew up in some sort of religious cult that decided to suicide, and everyone was supposed to go up to this second floor room and be beheaded with a guillotine.

I was trying to figure out how to get my family out of there and thought I had them going along with me, so I went ahead with the plan to fake my suicide. I stashed all my stuff so that the overseer-monitors wouldn't find it and would think I disposed of it, and I had plans to carry some person on a pole across my back (???) So I went and got a job at some radio station or something under a different name, and then I got word that my family had gone ahead with the guillotine and they were all dead :(

At the same time, I got a message that the overseers found my stashed stuff and knew I wasn't really dead, and that I was to report back for my decapitation.

I guess it was kind of a nightmare.

[Kitsa]

I used to have all these kickass dreams about there being a secret staircase in my parents' house that led to an area only I knew about. Like, there was this huge attic and lots of rooms and bathrooms and boxes full of cool stuff to go through, and it was mine all mine.

Last night I had that dream, and I was really excited because I hadn't had the dream in years. So I go up the stairs only to find out that a bunch of asshole hostel people were staying in all the rooms...my parents had figured out about the place and rented all the rooms out.

I'm not sure but I think it means my life sucks now.

[All Hail Duke]

last night's was goofy-
cillian murphy (as the scarecrow) came over to my house after i had given someone a dose of fear toxin, wanted to show him my results but had him hold my dog, then led him to my room which all of a sudden turned into my aunts old house and my dog was made up as a clown (painted face, green wig, a little hat and a costume)
then i woke up

[creeposaurus]

Last night I had this dream that I was watching a musical based on the Star Trek movie First Contact and I was on a date with some guy that had a motorcycle with built in rocket boosters on it. We were making out and giving each other Eskimo kisses.

[replicant]

I dreamed last night that I was in a cage fight with David Bowie and Freddie Mercury.

[Kitsa]

That would be an interesting match.

[Fathom Zero]

my dream last night had this in it

fgOaT4xzdvo

[Zhukov]

Last night I was sneaking around a warehouse with Genie from I dream of Genie, the woman from Bewitched, and Liz Hurley. Lots of stuff happened, but I can't remember any of it. Also, this was a dream.

[b_squared]

Last night I had a dream that I was Jessica Alba. I was sitting on a producers lap watching the dailys while he played with my boobs.

[Zomboid]

I took a sleeping pill before bed and, while I can't remember most of what I dreamed, the part that stuck out the most was me riding around on a crazy carpet that seemed to be fused to my legs. I was propelling myself with my arms, just grabbing at snow and ice, but I was getting some really surprising speed and turning accuracy. It was pretty bizarre.

Edit: Oh, fuck! I just remembered what is probably the funniest part of my dream. I somehow stumbled across pictures of Pram Maven doing push-ups and sit-ups at work (he was laying down behind a busy bar and just going nuts) and then posted them here. My dislike of Pram goes deep, I guess.

[Zhukov]

I never fully remember my dreams, it's really frustrating. Last night I was a recruit in the Thai coast guard/water police, and I remember ramming a tiny fishing boat with our big police boat (which was manned to overflowing with about 100 other recruits, all wearing blue), monitoring the sales and purchases of various sea creatures at the local fish market, and being told that I would have to buck my ideas up if I wanted to make it to being a real water policeman.

Other stuff happened.

[ThrashO]

I was playing alot of Portal 2 and I had a dream about it. It was wierd, there was something in this room I was trying to get and I had portals and I was kind of teetering in between them, and I remember not being able to reach whatever it was.

Anyways my girlfriend was rolling around in the bed and waking me up and I was kind of still dreaming and I remember reaching out to it really fast in my dream through what I thought was a portal and I woke myself up by slamming my hand into an un-portal'd wall in the dark.

:\

When I say she was rolling around in the bed I mean she was writhing in ecstasy from the pleasure-fest I allowed her to partake in with my penis 5 hours prior.

[Shrubfest]

Sure thing, bro.:conspiracy

I dreamed I went to a really fancy party, got very drunk of gin with Johnny Depp, but then instead of going to have sex in the woods we remembered we had to push a steam train back home.

Then we nearly got hit by a fuck-tonne of other trains because no one remembered to check if we had line clearance.

[Womti]

mai dreams are like movies :)

[Kitsa]

Ugh, I just had a horrible nightmare. And it was one of those that felt like it lasted the entire time I was asleep, too, even though I know it's not really possible.

It started out with me looking at houses to buy. I toured this one huge house and decided I liked it. I bought it, but the previous guy living there didn't want to leave. So I moved in, but he kept breaking in and I kept finding him and his stuff places (like in this weird cinderblock room in the basement). So that wasn't scary, just sort of creepy.

Later in the dream, there was this woman after me. She was in her early fifties with brown hair and sort of looked like someone I used to know, but she had this supernatural element to her where she could spontaneously freeze-frame her face into every horrifying thing I'd ever seen and scare the everloving hell out of me. Anyway, for some reason she wanted me and mine dead.

So, for what felt like hours, she tailed me through this dream. At one point my family hid me in some sort of oncology nursing home where you could buy "average beds for $5 or a really nice bed if your family wants to spend $7". But she followed me there, killing off the employees. At one point there was a thunderstorm and I jolted out of my dream-sleep to see her at the window, cutting the screen with a big knife and grinning at me with this insanely evil and grotesque grimace.

Still later, I abandoned the oncology place and was back in this big house. She found me there, too. At one point I glanced out the window and she was all twisted up like a pretzel, walking on her fingertips across my darkened yard, completely covered in blood and looking at me. Yeesh, still having chills thinking about it.:chatter

Nevertheless, for some reason in this environment I decided to have a dinner party. Then I became concerned that she was going to show up and stalk my dinner guests as they arrived, so I was watching out the window. This nurse I used to work with IRL showed up, I saw her car pull up as I watched out the window.

I suddenly had some psychic flash forward to the crazy woman killing her, dismembering her, and arranging the pieces in my yard for me to see. So as the nurse stood by her car and smoked a cigarette, I became frantic to get her in safely.

So I went outside, only to find myself on this shoddily-built deck that was only wide enough for people to walk single file on it. It ran the length of the house and was built on this soft embankment next to a stone wall and some poison ivy, and it was about 75 feet in the air on the very edge of a cliff. I shouted to the nurse and she put her cigarette out and waved, and came up to where I was. Then we had to navigate this thing back toward the house.

I was just telling her "I'm sorry this deck is so flimsy, my puppy had surgery and we needed the dirt that was under it":confused: when the deck started to give way and fall off the face of the cliff. I made a frantic grab for poison ivy and sandstone, and then lost hold and tumbled backwards. I was in the process of falling to what I knew was my death, waiting for the impact, when I jerked awake.

:hypno

[Pentegarn]

mai dreams are like movies :)

So you masturbate a lot in them?

[Esuohlim]

In my dream last night I was helping elx get laid and Gus was getting mad at me

I dream about you I-Mock fuckers way too often

[Kitsa]

A lot of it has already faded, but in my dream last night my parents were Madeleine Kahn and some well-known older male comedian, and they were coming to parent-teacher day at my school. Madeleine Kahn barged into my science class and announced that we needed to start fermenting bread into alcohol, and she started taking slices of white bread out of a bag and mashing them into tupperware.

Later, I was in some sort of "jail" in the school. Really, it was just the end of a hallway and I was barricaded in by a large, laser-cut steel panel that had pictures of hands on jail bars and sad faces and stuff all over it. Then I was trying to get my backpack so I could leave. That's all I can remember.

[Shrubfest]

I just read the Hannibal series, thus Hannibal dreams.

Dream 1: all the odd romance feelings between Starling and Lecter were between Starling and Buffalo Bill. I was Starling. Bill was dead but possessing a room. Awkward.
Dream 2: I was the doting younger sister of the Vergers. Then an asshole stepdad(?) told me all the bad things about Mason. I was heartbroken and ran away, assuming he was just planning on raping me too someday.

[All Hail Duke]

had a The Dark Knight Rises dream a couple nights ago

it actually started out like The Mighty Ducks, and some older jock dickhead was picking on a kid, then the janitor came out (Bane) and threatened to kick the kids ass when he turned 18 and then proceeded to kick the shit out of his dad
then it cut to the cafeteria where Bane was having his lunch and Jean Claude Van Damme wanted to fight him, but ended up getting torn in half
then it cut to how he became Bane and he decided to turn evil after watching Hulk Hogan surf during a storm, then it cut to him getting strangled by Batman with a toy wire

[Kitsa]

I had a dream that was more like watching a movie. Justin Long (must have been because I watched that college movie of his the other day) had dropped out of school and was making a living by vacuuming stuff off the floors of movie theaters with a wet-dry vac. Most of the dream was a voiceover of him telling how he did it, how you got gum out from between the seats, etc.

The last thing I remember was a movie-like shot of a theater audience. He was sleeping in one of the seats and his dad and brother were in front of him, dumping popcorn on the floor.

When I woke up, there was an infomercial on about a combo wet-dry vac and leafblower.

[Nick]

I wish I could report in with some new freaky ass dreams of mine, but it seems I've just been passing out and rolling around every few hours instead of having a nice fantasy adventure. :(

[Shrubfest]

Kitsa, I just watched a program called 'Dangerous Dreams' from Channel 4.

The woman in it reminded me of you, and this thread.

Please don't start freaking out that your dreams will kill you.

[Womti]

So you masturbate a lot in them?


no... I walk alot and do alot of things. mostly just go places or look at skies :\

[ThrashO]

I'm sitting at the social security office right now waiting to get a new SS card (mine was in my wallet which was stolen) and I never knew how crazy this place was. Its like 2 DMV's took a dump in a post office at 5:55pm on Friday. I've been waiting nearly an hour and a half and this thread has kept me thoroughly entertained :)

Anyways, I've been looking for a new job and on top of getting my wallet stolen I've been really stressed out lately. And with stress for me breeds freaky ass dreams.

Anyways, I had a dream that I was part of a buddy-buddy cop duo and me and my partner were trying to run down some thief who was running away on foot. He has on this tan business suit and waw kind of chubby. Anyways I remember feeling like he was getting away even though I was in a car so I sped up. I ended up bumping him, knocking him forward and pinning his head between the bumper and a wall. I remember getting out and telling my buddy to back the car off him.

When the car pulled off the guy's entire skin on his head just slid off and it was just a bloody skull with no eyes or muscles and he was grabbing at his face and trying to scream. I just remember the skin so vividly slipping off his head like a wet bag. I woke up, really freaked out.

The same night I woke up and was half awake/half asleep partially dreaming, and I looked up at my dark cieling to see a square window and a dark figure looking down at me. It kept getting sharper and clearer until I jumped out of bed, flipped the light on to realize there was nothing there. I did not go back to sleep that night :/

[k0k0]

I don't usually have dreams, but these antibiotics I'm taking are fucking with me. I just took a 2 hour nap while waiting for tf2 to finish downloading and I think I woke up because my dream actually got boring.

I was in highschool again with my 2 roommates and we were supposed to pick either a red side or a purple side. I chose red, which turned out to be the word BORN. Purple was another word that I can't remember. I had to choose a song that had to do with that word and sing it karaoke style in front of the highschool. The only song I could think of was Born to Die by Choking Victim. For some reason people kept telling me not to sing it because of the tone of the music, but I kept on. I don't remember why, but I decided to search the lyrics on the net. I know the lyrics, so not sure why I'd do this. And like 20 dream minutes were me typing and mistyping the band and song name into google. I think around then is when I woke up because I was bored. Not sure.

[ThrashO]

I don't usually have dreams, but these antibiotics I'm taking are fucking with me. I just took a 2 hour nap while waiting for tf2 to finish downloading and I think I woke up because my dream actually got boring.

I was in highschool again with my 2 roommates and we were supposed to pick either a red side or a purple side. I chose red, which turned out to be the word BORN. Purple was another word that I can't remember. I had to choose a song that had to do with that word and sing it karaoke style in front of the highschool. The only song I could think of was Born to Die by Choking Victim. For some reason people kept telling me not to sing it because of the tone of the music, but I kept on. I don't remember why, but I decided to search the lyrics on the net. I know the lyrics, so not sure why I'd do this. And like 20 dream minutes were me typing and mistyping the band and song name into google. I think around then is when I woke up because I was bored. Not sure.

I've had dreams like that, where you kind of go in and out of sleeping, and you keep telling yourself you have to finish this (ie. typing a band name correctly, or with me one time I was looking for something, another time I was trying to cook something) and you're so intent on getting it done and you feel almost restless. Then you finally open your eyes for real and go:

"What the fuck am I doing. I don't have to do anything except sleep."

And then you fall asleep where you continue to mistype the band name. I've had so many weird instances like this before

[Esuohlim]

no... I walk alot and do alot of things. mostly just go places or look at skies :\

Womit, this ain't the Your WETTEST dreams thread >:

[Pentegarn]

I want to know what movies he is watching if he thinks walking around looking at skies is like a movie.

Maybe a shitty college student movie

[Zhukov]

So I had a frightening dream last night that I was on a dock during a raging storm, and I had to hold onto my suitcase and jacket to prevent them from being washed away. There was a bald man next to me who lost all his stuff, but what can you do? It's a dream.

[Sam]

I had a dream that I ate a bunch of oatmeal, then I was drinking milk out of the carton, then I threw up into the milk and it was all vomit and oatmeal and milk, then I re-ate it.

It smelled like brown sugar oatmeal.

[Kitsa]

I had a dream last night that was entirely in French. I have no idea why, but I know that all of the characters spoke only French.

The rest of the details have mostly faded, but there was a surreal sort of Cirque du Soleil quality to it. At one point there was a parade and a man in a costume was proudly riding a blue bicycle down the street. He got off the bicycle in the middle of the parade and dropped it behind him as he stopped to stand, all puffed-out in his costume with his hands on his hips, to admire something. Some other guy in a foam rusted-suit-of-armor costume came up behind him and took the bicycle.

He saw the guy as the guy was trying to push the bike past him and said, "I could prosecute you!" The thief said something threatening back, and the first guy decided to let him go.

It was a very stupid, very French dream.

[Pentegarn]

This bot program (the one running Yingchun) is sophistimacated

[k0k0]

I know man, you think he'd be able to figure out the reason his arms are always numb is because he's a fucking robot. Beep boop, what is love?

[Kitsa]

I had a dream last night that two of my least favorite people were all rolled up in one person. And there was something scratching the ceiling from the attic, but I refused to look up there because I knew it was Kayako from the ju-on movies.

[k0k0]

Last night I had a dream and while I was dreaming, I kept thinking "I am going to come put this into the weirdest dreams thread", but now that is the only thing I remember of this dream. Fucked.

[Kitsa]

I was working in a hospital, for one of my old bosses, and without explanation I was suddenly transferred to a different area. I was on a floor with lots of cubicles, got one of them assigned to me, but no one told me what exactly my new job was supposed to be. There was a computer and a phone, and something that either looked like bagged bluetooth earpieces or hearing aids hanging on a pegboard in front of me, and beside me there was a short display of toothbrushes and toothpaste and floss and stuff like that.

Every time I tried to ask, people would just vaguely say "Oh, you make the calls" or "Oh, well, you take care of the things", nothing that was any help at all. At the same time, there was this intensely competitive atmosphere, and this guy one row over kept doing things like knocking over the toothbrush display or sabotaging my desk.

So basically I was just playing on the internet because I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to be doing, but I was trying to hide that because I didn't want to be fired. At one point I used the top shelf of my desk to store a giant loaf of bread, but it got moldy and I threw it away.

Never did find out what my job was.

[b_squared]

Your dream job sounds like a job George Castansa might of had on Seinfield.

[k0k0]

Having a job like that isn't too much of a dream job. I got paid 18 bucks an hour to do maybe 45 minutes of work a day at Dell. I was a secretary to a secretary to a vice president of something or other. All I did was scan and forward faxes that came in. That was my job. Oh, and order catering whenever they needed it. I usually just stayed for about 4 hours, looking on the net, then left and clocked out from home so I could still get the 8 hours. It was awful having nothing to do and not being able to browse too many sites because I was at work.

I stayed there for a year and a half before I just got tired of doing nothing and started working from home because it's easier to do nothing when I'm in my underwear.

[Kitsa]

Last night I dreamed that Will Ferrell was a cousin of mine, and we got out a board game or something, and he just casually started picking up handfuls of game pieces and eating them like they were chex mix or something.

[k0k0]

Typical Farrell.

I heard they gave him a tour of the Parker Brothers factory and 2 days later it closed down mysteriously.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed that I was in this resort town that was sort of like Atlantic City and sort of like Vegas, but cleaner. It was on the ocean and this strip of mega-hotels controlled all access to the beach. You absolutely could not get to the beach unless you had a room in one of these hotels. To complicate matters, I'd left my purse at home, so I arrived with absolutely no money. For some reason I was just determined as all hell to get to the beach.

So I went in one big hotel, thinking I was going to sneak in and find the door that opened onto the beach. Great big place, done all in black, big black tile walls, fancy French doors. I think I managed to actually sneak into a guest room, somehwere people were staying but didn't happen to be in at that moment, and it gave every appearance of opening up onto the beach, with big windows that looked out on it and sand and beach toys on the floor. So I'm running for these doors, find myself in some exterior hallway, keep running straight ahead, and burst through the doors to find myself in a rainy parking lot on the wrong side of the hotel. I think I tried sneaking in a couple more times, pretending I was there to apply for a job or acting like I wanted to go to their basement casino, but I ended up booted out every time.

Finally I was looking around and I found this parking lot between two of the casinos, and the parking lot had a low wall that separated it from the beach. So I got all excited, hopped the gate, ran through the parking lot, and stopped short when I saw that it was at the top of this immense valley of sand with a narrow channel of blue seawater at the bottom. And since the water was crystal clear, you could see a shark in the water every now and then. So the thing was as good as a moat.

I think eventually I decided to run down the side of the hill and kind of snowplow, knocking sand into this saltwater channel in the hopes that I could leap across and somehow back up the works and ruin things for this hotel that had kept me away from the beach.

Also, somewhere in the same dream, I saw a clip of a documentary on TV about the people who did Civil War reenactments having to retire and pass the torch on to younger reenacters. I briefly saw a glimpse of my high school history teacher in a Musketeer hat, running to lead some charge. My mind was so convinced that I had actually seen this that my first thought on waking up was that I had to go on Facebook and tell him I had seen him on TV. :lol

[Kitsa]

Last night I dreamed that The Wiggles had a talk show, sort of like The View (which I guess makes it double-horrible), and that I was supposed to be on it doing food art. And I was all worked up because I hate doing that kind of stuff and I was all stressed out, and so on.

So everyone was in this big room, in folding metal chairs, either just watching or waiting to go on. The Wiggles were doing some activity with some other guest and I'm just sitting there, watching their lit little studio on one wall of this room, and I'm supposed to be next but this guy before me is running long. And he ends up running over and taking my time. And I'm pissed off...not because I wanted to be on the show, but because I'd gotten all worked up for nothing.

Later in the dream I was supposed to sneak some woman some hand sanitizer that had birth control into it. She figured it out and went off on me, so I had to return the hand sanitizer to the doctor. Then I figured out she and the doctor were the same person.

[ThrashO]

I had a weird dream about following some guy down a dark street, and then I saw this strange Korean comic and I could have sworn that it was EXACTLY the same as in my dream. Really strange.

http://comic.naver.com/webtoon/detail.nhn?titleId=350217&no=20&weekday=tuedat?

[Kitsa]

My kid was kicking me in the head all night IRL, so when I fell asleep I dreamed of going other places and falling asleep. Like, under a rack of clothes at Walmart with my legs sticking out, and people laughing at me on the security camera, and in some sort of bathtub thing in a public park.

[Kitsa]

During a nap to sleep off a bad headache, I dreamed that I went back to India, through the Mediterranean and Persian Gulf, via cruise ship. I know the route because it played on a cartoon map in the corner as the rest of the dream was unfolding.

The kids I'd known recognized me, but they were different. Their hair was dyed blonde, or as close as they could come to it. Hawaiian Tropic suntan lotion was available everywhere, guys had Hawaiian Tropic beach towels around their waists instead of dhovati and there were big Hawaiian Tropic signs all over the place. It was like Hyderabad meets Panama City, Florida.

Anyway, at some point I had an altercation with a shop owner and he finally ducked back through Hawaiian Tropic model cardboard cutouts to a window that had a shade drawn. He pullled back the window shade and showed me there was a tiny vial of liquid taped to it. I said, "Is that acid?"

Then my mom woke me up to take a call from the pharmacy :(

[k0k0]

Kitsa's dream has been sponsored by Hawaiian Tropic.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, no idea why.

[Kitsa]

I had a pretty complicated one last night, involving going to old workplaces and what I was calling an "old apartment" (never lived there IRL, but in the dream it was a ratty old place I used to live and there were spiders everywhere). Then I was going with my family to some Italian restaurant that was so popular it was nearly impossible to get in the door and there was a line around the block. We'd gotten in, I placed my order and went off to the bathroom. When I got back, my family had finished eating and sent the meal back to the kitchen. I was pretty pissed.

[shanni]

The strangest dream I ever had involved a deflating chicken. I was on a farm and all these little baby chicks were running around. I picked one up and started to pet it. All of a sudden I heard *pop* and this little chick starts whizzing around like a balloon. I picked up the now deflated chick trying to figure out how to re-inflate it before the farmer gets back.

[Kitsa]

I had a bad one last night where I had some terminal illness and the doctor was being really patronizing about it, talking about me to my family like I wasn't there. Something about my control of my bank account, "She'll gradually realize that she needs to give it over", something about allowing me to come to terms with it and give things up as I slowly realized my death was imminent. It was a real downer :(

[Esuohlim]

Last night's I-Mock dream participant was Zhukov. He was saving up money to go out to the streets for "some heroin and a spoonful of jam"

[Kitsa]

first Sept 11th themed dream in forever...some sort of post-apocalyptic scenario in which I darted from basement to basement of bombed out buildings. Apparently I was looking for some rocklike bread, baby clothes and albino alligators. I also met a wandering band of French medical students.

[k0k0]

I had a strange dream. Me and a team of people would fight bad guys on some waterfall area, come back, and it would switch over to the main bad dudes talking and sending someone else. It was really fucking strange watching the bad guys planning while they sent out another one at us. The last one was Budnick from salute your shorts and I think that's what jarred me into thinking "this is stupid. I've been fighting big robot snakes and they send Bobby Budnick" and I think that's what took me out of my dream.

[Kitsa]

I was at a Renaissance Fair or some such shit and there was either a very young Joey Ramone or a Joey Ramone impersonator there, and I kept running into him. Then later we were on a tour bus and Monte Melnick was there, and my mom asked him why the street we were on had stops every 10 feet. And he said "Because the FBI is on this street" and it made perfect sense.

[Esuohlim]

Pub Lover sent me a package in the mail and in that package were thousands of photos of me as a kid that he took secretly

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[Dixie]

i've been dreaming alot about mushrooms lately. Glass mushrooms have been re-occurring. The most recent mushroom dream had a huge ugly mushroom that people were gathering around and gnawing upon because it supposedly tasted like cotton candy. Also in the cotton candy mushroom dream I did not know how the public transit system worked.

[MarioRPG]

I'm sure freud would have a field day with that one, dixie.

[Dixie]

nonononono. the cotton candy mushroom was like a "hen of the woods" type mushroom. it didn't have THE SHAPE. it looked more like a coral. it's just been dreams of fungus in general i guess?

[Zhukov]

Had another dream about brutally killing a close friend.

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[Esuohlim]

elx locked herself in her room to experiment with neutrinos. And this is BEFORE I even read the posts she made, which creeps me out a little :(

[executioneer]

the time travel dream neutrinos went back in time to infect your dreams, oh no!

[k0k0]

Whenever I go in my room to play with my balls, I call it experimenting with neutrinos. Are you sure she doesn't have balls?

[MarioRPG]

Because it takes less than a nanosecond?

[replicant]

The other night I had this dream I was riding in a bus that completely covered in black latex. Very S&M. There wasn't anyone driving the bus and I was the sole passenger. The windows were colored an opaque red. I couldn't move. All of a sudden a saw blade came and bisected the bus. Each piece of the bus fell to it's respective side. Released, I fell backwards into a test tube that was then capped and put aside. Next thing I know I am put in a centrifuge which resulted in some severe vertigo. After being placed back on the table, I managed to roll the tube off the ledge and the tube breaks on the floor. Getting off lucky by not getting impaled, I run towards a hole in the wall only to end up getting lost in darkness and feeling I was pricked by thousands of thumb tacks.

[Kitsa]

I had sort of a shitty day yesterday, and I think it kind of messed with my dreams. Last night I dreamed there was a torture clinic in an old medical building. It looked like a 70s-era medical office, with the ugly furniture and cheap wood doors and all of that, but on an appointed day the person would show up and sit in the chair (a maroon naugahyde dental chair lined with blue medical paper) and be tortured to death.

The dream sort of involved several storylines, but the one that really sticks out was an older woman who worked at the clinic. She was a nurse, and I guess her day had come for this torture, and they were being really sick by making her lay out her own instruments as they made small talk, "What are you doing this weekend?" and that sort of thing. And she'd say, "I don't have a 'this weekend', you're murdering me today."

But she was watching and waiting and as they turned away, she bolted out the door. There weren't any doorknobs, just little grips that looked like allen wrench handles sticking out of the door at eye level, so she had to grab those and pull to open the door. And the ones marked exit weren't, it was like a little rabbit-warren hallway of doors designed to fool anyone who tried to escape. I think she eventually came out in an abortion clinic, but I don't know if they ever caught her or not. I'm not sure if the dream was anti-abortion or anti-torture or anti-doctor or what exactly that was all about.

Then I was in a foot-deep pool having crawl races with my cousins' kids. My cousin was looking for Ashton Kutcher. I pointed up and said, "Isn't that him?" and he bolted.

[Zhukov]

That's a really horrible dream :\



I hate Ashton Kutcher.

[k0k0]

I had a dream where I dated an ugly girl with skin hanging off of her back. She was a really fun person though, in the dream.

[Lone Wanderer]

One time, I dreamed that I had psychic abilities and was a fan/hate mail sorter for Chris Cocker. I kept trying to impress him/her with my glorious psychic mail sorting powers, but he/she seemed confused or unimpressed. :/ Then she/he asked me to look at an infection (more like mold growing) on his/her left ass-cheek and I told Chris to see a doctor. :hypno
After sorting more mail I got horny and asked him/her to suck my (bleep), but Chris declined and told me he/she would rather do her girlfriend. :lol:blowmeThen we went to sum bar/pub with alot of Irish and "scene/emo/whatever" teenagers there and I'm not old enough to drink beer so I just sat there awkwardly looking at an redheaded Irish guy drinking. :\ :puke
Next thing I knew I was in an old library with awful green 70's carpeting and shitty fluorescent lights trying to find some book. Then I was chased around by keystone cops for awhile, for no apparent reason.
Then I was on some cheap uninspired Haunted Mansion knock-off and kept riding it over and over (even though it scared me). Then I got pissed off when a girl dressed as Freddy Kruger poked me in the eye with her claws and started talking nonsense with her. :confused::moon

Finally I was back with Chris Cocker again and was chased down a rabbit hole and she/he turned into my ex-girlfriend, but with a beard! :shocked But I didn't care and was just so horny and started doing her...but then I woke up! :love

[Pentegarn]

The worst part is I can't unread what I read while skimming that post :(

[Lone Wanderer]

Had a dream last night that me and my best lady friend kept going around in circles on weather or not to date/fuck and she always got frigid. So I hired Vincent Vega and Jules to kill her parents and make it look like a meth lab accident.

[Esuohlim]

What's that, Doug Benson is a porn star? Only in my dreams :smug

[Sam]

MARIJUANA SMOKE ISN'T THE ONLY THING BEING BLOWN IN THAT DREAM. ;)

[Pentegarn]

Doug loves movies.... porn movies!

[Esuohlim]

I have been listening to ton of Doug Loves Movies lately. Haven't watched a lot of porn though, so maybe my brain had needs

[Esuohlim]

Last night I was hanging out with the guys from Ween and they clearly didn't want to hang out with me, and it wasn't until we went bowling that they unleashed all their pent-up ridicule

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

They were probably jealous of your bowling prowess.

[Kitsa]

Something about Cee Lo Green trying to sell vitamins. He'd single you out and go into this big pitch like for a timeshare but it was for a stupid $6 bottle of vitamins. At one point Spandy Andy went dancing by in the background.

[Zomboid]

Last night, I dreamed that I boned a hot neighbor girl, took care of an old roommate who got alcohol poisoning, and took a shit in a room full of people--the shit was so big and ejected with such force that I somehow splashed everyone in the room with poop water.

[Kitsa]

I had a dream that was like this beautifully-wrought romantic movie. I wasn't in it at all, I was just watching it like it was a movie. I remember the guy was scottish and at one point the woman said something about a reality show, and he gave her this signifigant soap opera look and said, "You are my reality." The dream-movie culminated with this poetic waterbirth scene in a tiled grotto with music and beautiful lighting.

When I woke up, I wanted to kick my own ass.

[Chojin]

is the bot having an existential crisis?

[Evil Robot II]

Ashley Benson, Samaire Armstrong, Hilary Duff, Kristen Bell, Caterina Scorsone, Emma Watson, Kristin Kreuk, Christine Lakin, just to name a few.

EDIT: Wait, this is a bot thread, with replies by bots only? Nevermind.

If you are a child I hope somebody from 4chan abducts and kills you

[Fathom Zero]

I had another dream where I was dying again. My face was crushed.

[Kitsa]

I had a dream that my kid was in a parade or a show or some such shit and I was trying to get there- she had already gone off with a group of kids and her being there wasn't a problem, but I kept being derailed by people wanting to show me different things. At one point, I was sent up to an attic with these Antique-Roadshow kind of guys to look at a scrabble set that was somehow more valuable because someone had made gold-painted cardboard squares to replace the tiles. Then I found a WTFbus and I wanted to buy it but couldn't because I was with the antique roadshow people.

[Esuohlim]

Fathom dropped acid and I was in charge of talking him down from a bad trip.

Dude was cryin' like a wuss

[Fathom Zero]

Dude I would lose my shit man, that's not even a story

[Kitsa]

I had a dream that I was gritting my teeth a lot and pieces kept breaking off and I was thinking it wasn't too bad, and that I didn't have to go in to the dentist, and then I looked in the mirror and they were transparent to the point where I could see all the pink nerve stuff inside :(

[kahljorn]

egads

[ChaiTea]

I dreamt me and Danny Trejo were enjoying cake and a movie. We were just shooting the shit when I glanced in his ear and saw a tiny person in there. It turned out to be a member of my family that had taken over Danny's body. I then proceeded to argue with them to get the hell out of there and give him his body back. Because he had a movie to go shoot.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed that I got an envelope in the mail with this official-looking document in yellow carbon-copy paper saying that I was invited to the reading of my great-grandmother's will. I couldn't figure out what the fuck because she's been dead for at least 20 years. In it I was listed as "Poor Granddaughter #2" and I was due to receive 8 dollars.

I went to my mom's house to ask her if she knew why I would be getting this document 20 years later and we had some sort of argument about it in her garden, but I looked down and saw this rock that looked exactly like the siva lingam from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and I became so fascinated with that that I forgot what I was arguing about, the end.

[Fathom Zero]

It's evident that, all things being equal, you'd rather be in an Indiana Jones movie.

[Kitsa]

Probably.

Had a whole series of really fucked up dreams that I can't quite remember, then woke up and saw that Doomsday Preppers was on TV and somehow that explained everything.

[MarioRPG]

Chilling with Spiderman, when out of nowhere Iron Man started beefin us, so we shot a heat-seeking missile at him. Later Spidey and I ended up in a sketchy neighbourhood where everyone carried a knife / sword / bladed weapon. We ended up talking to the one guy without a weapon... Shortly after I woke up.

I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.

[Kitsa]

Last night's dream was a multi-parter but I can't remember all the parts. During the most vivid part, I was going to some sort of club to see some comedian perform. It wasn't really a club, though, but more like a college lecture hall with the plastic stadium seats. Where the podium would be, there was a plexiglass barrier like some sort of Hannibal Lecter thing. We were somehow led to believe that this was for our own protection, but there was a door in it and the guy was just sitting in the seats talking to people.

He kept glancing over and I really wanted to take a picture, but my cell battery was dead. Then it was showtime and he got up behind the plexiglass and did some sort of weird gyrating dance to some song about everyone wanting him. And all of these college girls got up from the audience and they were all grinding on him, but he sort of lifted their skirts to check some sort of panty status and turned away. I have no idea what the fuck that was about, but I was pissed that my phone was dead because I really wanted to take pictures of what this weird guy was doing.

Then I went to leave after the show and he's just hanging out talking to people again. Suddenly, though, we're in the top level of some mall-sized old barn. By this time I just want to gtfo so I look for an exit and the only staircase is this giant expanse of white carpet that has been crimped to look like stairs, seemingly freestanding. There's a drop of at least a hundred feet and no one else on the staircase and I'm filled with the simultaneous utter certainty that it's going to fall as soon as I step on it and that it's the only way down from where I am. There's also like a 2 foot gap from the upper level to the top of the stairs. So I back up and make a running leap and land on my ass on the stairs, and sail down them like it's a bumpy sledding hill.

On the way out, I see that the comedian guy's been living in a beat up white van and I wonder if the college girls knew about that.

The end.

[Phoenix Gamma]

I dreamed that I was in Selena Gomez's bedroom with one of her friends. They were arguing about who stuffs their bras more. Then Selena stared at the other girl and made her disappear. Then Selena turned to me and said "remember, YOU'RE a figment of MY imagination! So do what I say or I'll do the same to you!"

So she made me do her dry cleaning.

On my way home I ran into my friends who were starting a dance troupe for some tv competition, so I decided to help them since I'm an imaginary person not bound by reality.

Then we were taking a break from dancing and watched TV. Two villages in some country were fighting over a 7 foot long bridge. So I used my imaginary powers to travel into the TV and appear at the villages and solved the problem.

Then I went back and Selena was looking for me. She was really angry so I hid. Then I said "I WON'T LET HER WIPE ME OUT OF EXISTENCE. I'LL WIPE ME OUT OF EXISTENCE BECAUSE I'M IMAGINARY AND CAN DO ANYTHING!"

I closed my eyes and my body slowly faded away until I was in some kind of abyss. Then I woke up,

There's so much wrong with that dream :(

[Big McLargehuge]

I dreamed that my penis had been replaced with a Gerber multi-tool and when I went to the doctor he said "well at least it's useful now". I tried to talk him into fixing it but he just kept accusing me of not recognizing the value of preparedness.

[george]

i had a dream about my dog.

we relived his life with me from his point of view, and had a nice casual conversation about all of it. the end made me sad, but it was a pretty happy dream.

although i am always concerned when i have dreams about talking animals.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed I was in some waiting room and I somehow recognized that older televangelist woman (can't remember her name) from the back of her head. My kid runs over and says "Hi, Ms. ..." (whatever the name was). The woman asked me if my daughter would like a Bible. We're not Bible-collectors, really, but I thought it was like one of those situations where someone asks you if they can give your kid a lollipop, or whatever, so I say ok. She signs one and gives it to my kid with a note and says, "give that paper to your mommy". I unfold it and it says "that'll be $7. Cash."

When I woke up the woman was on tv, so that's probably why.

[darkvare]

i had this weird dream last night i was at a party in a town i didn't knew when it ended we all got on a bus, a while later it made a turn and we got t boned by another bus me and 3 people survived the rest was all of us walking towards a town losing members one by one

[Kitsa]

I have the flu and had a crazy high fever last night (almost 104f), and I dreamed I was at the red wings-predators game and they shot girl scout thin mint cookies into the crowd every time Detroit scored a goal.

[kahljorn]

too bad it wasn't york peppermint patties and the players weren't hitting them at you like they were pucks

[Kitsa]

They were, like they were pucks

[replicant]

Dreamt I was covered in cotton candy spiders that were slowly ingesting my body. I have to not watch Killer Klowns from Space. Gives me freaky nightmares.

[Kitsa]

Another whackassed fever dream. I was living on the ground floor of a two level condo and after moving in I noticed this weird area behind the laundry room, like an unused closet sealed in with brown tin panels, no door. I thought it was hiding a water heater or something and left it alone. Then one day I saw a panel peeled back and heard noises, and when I peered inside there were teenagers having a LAN party in there.

I yelled something akin to "what the FUCK?!?" and chased them out of my apartment. Then I figured out they had gotten in through a panel that opened to the outside. The landlord wouldn't put a lock on it, the teenagers kept sneaking in for LAN parties and I kept catching and chasing out teenagers who were cussing me out and clutching their gaming rigs.

Ultimately in the dream I became the enemy of every teenager in town, as all they seemed to want to do was have LAN parties in my closet and no one seemed to understand why I had a problem with it, so I was kind of the town bitch for having a problem with home invasion.

As the dream was ending, I slipped and fell in the snow and called out for help, and two kids dressed like Freddy Krueger and Spiderman shook their heads and walked away.

Not sure what it means, but the message definitely seemed to be host more LAN parties.

[ThrashO]

I had one of the most powerful dreams I've ever had last night. I was with my best friend Andre and his brother Zach (Who recently just passed away from cancer in February) and It was December 21st of this year (Mayan calendar end date) and there was so much talk on the news and amongst everyone about what was going to happen. We were all hanging out and talking about it and talking about everything that could happen and we were didn't go to work because we were so freaked out that we wanted to stay home just fuck around all day.

Anyways, the day is close to ending, and nothing has happened at all, and we had just finished watching some news report talking about how lucky the humans were and how it was just a normal day. Then we were walking outside, down this hill, towards a house, I don't know what or where this house was, but it was as if it was ours, very weird.

Anyways, the hillside was beautiful, and we were walking down it, and stretching off into the horizon was this huge gorgeous valley. You could see all the way to where the sun was setting, and I was thinking to myself "I knew that this was just going to be a normal day, and everything ended up being fine" and then just as the sun was setting on the horizon, it fucking exploded. It exploded and we could see the shockwave rushing towards us, from the horizon, way to fast to outrun, and there wasn't enough time to get to the house, and I just remember it feeling like it was absolutely and without a doubt NOT A DREAM. I just remember feeling the explosion in my chest as if I had been punched in the chest, and I remember thinking "I can't believe it happened, what does this mean for religion? For humanity? Are there aliens? What could any of this possibly mean?" and as I had all these insane realizations in my head, and I saw the earth crumbling away and being destroyed as the shockwave was coming towards us, I just remember screaming in horror and trying to run into the house as fast as I could. Then I felt the blast of wind hit me, and before the explosion could get to me I woke up.

The weirdest thing about this, is that me and andre talk alot of religion and god and the possibility of aliens and the origin of man, especially when we're stoned as shit, but when I woke up, I called him and told him the entire dream, and then he said that the night before he had just dreamed about Zach too, and it was the first time since his death.

I'm not religious and Im pretty cynical towards most shit, but I've never been so genuinely scared in my entire life.

[Kitsa]

Two parter.

1) I went back to the eye clinic to pick up a pair of glasses I'd ordered irl. Because my eyes were dilated and I was blind as fuck when I tried them on, I found that they didn't even remotely resemble what I thought they looked like when I picked them out. They were these horrible 70s looking owl things with big swirls of beige, really godawful, and the eye place was basically saying tough crunchies, that'll be $350. I'm vaguely suspicious that something similar is going to happen irl when I go to pick them up.

2) Assembling long-chain fatty acids with dominos. Like there was a carboxyl domino and a methyl domino and you get the picture.

[Kitsa]

I was in the army, I looked like Jim Belushi and they were trying to make me eat dogshit as some sort of punishment.

In the dream I had exhausted all possible routes of escape from the situation and was trying to figure out what was the least horrible way to eat dogshit. In little pieces, in one go, or what.

[Fathom Zero]

I was at a smoky, hazy bar and ordered a orange vodka tonic from a classmate from two years ago in my photography class. Then I hooked up with a girl I had a crush on aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages ago.