CHOKING HAZARD

As I expected, this Zombie-flick from the Czech Republic is cool.

The story revolves around a blind Professor and a group of people shacked up in a hotel in the middle of the woods trying to find the meaning of life. They're the stereotypical bunch of people you'd expect to see in a horror flick, so I won't go into the explanation of their charactors here. They make video diaries of their journey for the meaning of life.

One night while they are watching them, a porno star/ Jehovah's Witness shows up, expecting to be on the set. The Prof. mistakes him for a new group member and asks him to play and describe his tape.

It is also at this point that zombie woodsman awake in the woods,
(later described as Wombies), and kill a guy trying to eat a wild mushroom. Hooray for Hallucinogens!

Anywho, the star/Witness decides to stay and tries to persuade the other group members over to the path of light. The doctor and the rest are unaffected by his pleas.

Zombies reach the outside of the hotel and eat a guy, while his friend watches from the safety of his car. The zombies also find their way into the kitchen and eat the staff. No stew for you.
This one guy who wears a helmet for no reason takes it off and jumps into a freezer, narrowly avoiding death at the hands of the undead.

Then the zombies attack the rest of the hotel, causing the Prof., (whom has no idea what is going on), gets separated from the rest of the group and, consequently, eaten. The star/Witness also gets bitten and gets his head crushed in with an ashtray, accidentally.

After they find out how easy it is to kill the zombies, the group members throw a dance party!

That is, until the super smart/Land of the Dead-esque zombies come in and wipe the floor with their blood.

I won't spoil the rest. Needless to say, it is a fantastic film definately worthy of the fifteen bucks I spent on it.

**** 1/2 stars.
Reasoning for not 5: Felt too short.
Although it is a good movie with bountiful raspberry coloured gore and excellent photography, it felt like it could have been longer for some reason.

Has anyone other than me seen the infamous maybe-not-really-kinda b-movie Guinea pig: Flower of flesh and blood?
It was sick. Really sick. I mean REALLY really sick. But kinda fake, though.

I found it at Hastings here in Lawton, however it is 22 bucks used.

I just bought Trick or Treat and I have the feeling I am in for a ride.

Trick or Treat is definantly worth the money... Ozzy is in it
"Metal Machines 6-6 Crush"

My dead uncle left me all of his B-Movies, and although there weren't much, here's what I got:


The Toxic Avenger: Part 2
Mortuary
Ticks
High School Massacre (1 and 2)
Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight
Death by Dialogue
and Prom Night

Score!

There is something I must know;
Has anyone here seen Die Hard Dracula?

No. Have you seen Dracula's Dog?

That's the one where the Soviets dig up Dracula, right?

As a matter of fact, yes. They inadvertantly release the hound of hell, which reeks havok among them, et cetera.

Then, as a fellow fan of terrible horror movies, I heartily recommend Die Hard Dracula to you. It will teach you many things about Dracula, most of which you do not know. For example, he can shoot fireballs. And he can be played by three seperate actors in a single movie.

I bought The Russian Terminator AKA The Russian Ninja at a garage sale, and holy shit was it the worst movie ever. Not even the ninjas could save that movie from sucking.

The Satanic Rights of Dracula is a piece of brilliance as well. The great Christopher Lee plays Dracula in a pretty awful 70's Dracula sequel where he gets owned by Van Helsing in the end.

Anyone Seen Dead And Breakfast yet? Its possibly the most amazing zombie movie in recent memory.

a kool movie likened to the ones you all ave been babbling about but seems to have escaped notice entirely: REDNECK ZOMBIES
Don't get me wrong; few flicks ever managed to draw near the quality of this one, besides being the only one movie that still scares the crap outta me currently.I remember how as a kid, watchin this and thought it was vaguely comic and scarcely any creepy at all though (^_^')

Everyone knows about Redneck Zombies. It's a nice one and there's not much else to say about it.

Here's a nice one someone I know made. They just wrapped up filming in Orlando.

Automaton Transfusion

Teh ZOMBIEZ.

Has everyone already seen Maniac Cop?

Killer Condom - B movie gold.
Brain Damage is my current favorite B horror flick, but I will tire of it soon.

THREAD BUMP


All of you guys should see Santa's Slay. Just enough stupid, just enough humor, Chris Kattan and Fran Drescher get murdered in the first five minutes, and Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus, who's actually the Norwiegan version of Satan who doesn't have to be nice anymore.

Thoroughly enjoyable rental.

It needed more spears, jackhammers, and phantom winning streaks.

But seriously, don't bother renting it. If you're up late enough, you're bound to see it uncut on Spike TV. They love that movie for some reason. I'm cool with any movie that kills Chris Kattan though.

I highly recommend Highway to Hell. Satan sends a Hellcop, who resembles the androids from THX-1138, to police a highway in rural California. If you get stopped by him, you don't go to jail, you go to Hell! Hilarity obviously ensues. Too bad it hasn't been released on DVD though.

IDK if anyone mentioned this film yet but, Bad Taste, Peter Jacksons First film, I'm actually friends with the guy who played Frank, He posts on the Peter Jackson forum. http://tbhl.theonering.net/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi

I hope someone make a tribute to it like they did Dead Alive (Braindead)

If you like Trick or Treat may I suggest Rocktober Blood and Shockem Dead. Shockem Dead had the guitar player for Nitro as the devil and gratuitous boobies and Tracy Lords trying to be a serious actress.

Redneck zombies is fucking awful. Piece of shit movie that doesn't succeed on any level.

Well, Bubba Ho-Tep was officially as awesome as I'd hoped it would be. I was surprised at how freaking dismal the mood was, but that just made the sudden bouts of asskickery even better.

AVOID CLIVE BARKER'S 'THE PLAGUE' AT ALL COSTS.


Spoiler: The reason the zombie children are batshit insane is because their leader read Grapes of Wrath.

Seriously.

Yeah, I'd heard that it's terrible and...well, it looks like it.

so we should avoid the plague like the plague right

lol

the brainiac :O
Have any of you seen that?

Is that the one with the blue goo, the Southern Gentleman headworm, and the spaghetti and brain-meatballs?

I dont think so. Here's a link.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054668/

Mexican horror movies are awesome. I just saw a black and white one that featuring an invisible dinosaur. No special effects whatsoever, just bad actors pretending to be eaten.

lol that's bad ass.

not like that is any different than some modern CGI though. heh

Anyone seen Man With the Screaming Brain? I like Bruce Campbell, but considering he's supposedly been wanting to make it for all these years, bit of a letdown really. But hey, it can never be as awful as Alien Apocalypse was.

I'm looking forward to 'My name is Bruce'. Campbell plays himself and is mistaken for his Ash character by a group of monster plagued kids.

I love how it's creating all kinds of internet drama on imdb. Seems that millions of users have rated it as super awesome without even seeing it.

The horror.

I'm excited about seeing it. It seems like it'll be pretty funny. :D But yeah, don't rate until you see. If the movie ends up sucking eggs, then those eggs will be on their faces.

Die You Zombie Bastards! was funny. Too many sex jokes, but it was pretty funny nonetheless.

I liked the man with the screaming brain.

ive heard about that my name is bruce movie ;o

"Dead and Breakfast" was a great show.

Go get From Beyond!!!

From Beyond is a fucking classic. A real staple in any collection. Who would have thought that the follow up to Re-Animator would kick even more ass.

Beyond Re-Animator? I watched it on Sci-Fi years ago. It does kick ass.

Nevermind, you were talking about Bride of Re-Animator. Still groovy.

No, we're talking about From Beyond. It was made just months after Re-Animator and has much of the same case and crew. It is also based on a Lovecraft work and is freaky as hell. Think Re-Animator meets Event Horizon.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091083/

I think it just got the DVD treatment as well.

On an unrelated note, I went on a roadtrip with my mom and stepdad this weekend for a wedding. While holed up in a hotel, I think it was TBS, but some channel had a Tod Browning fest. They showed "Dracula" first (of course) then "Freaks" which I caught the last 2 minutes of. Then they played "Devil Doll".
At first, I was disappointed that I had missed "Freaks", but "Devil Doll" really isn't bad, especially for 1932? (not sure of year) I'm not giving out spoilers but, it's worth a dollar rental or 5 dollars to own, maybe more if yer a Tod Browning fan.
Afterwards, the station played "London After Midnight", sort of. This is a silent film directed by Browning and the last known copy of the film was burnt in a studio fire in the 1960's. The station just showed production stills along with the original silent film dialog accompianied by the music score. But it does have Lon Chaney in two roles, and he looks hella 1927 cool as an undead.

So give "Devil Doll" a shot and if yer grandma has a copy of the "London After Midight" reel, tell her to post it.

I am, of course, a big fan of Tod Browning. His film Freaks stands as iconic in the Carnival and sideshow community and was really cutting edge for the time. Casting human oddities as the heroes really alienated the public. It really didn't garner much praise until the 60's, when audiences could connect to the idea of going against the grain. Previous to that, it was cut into segments, spliced into film of atrocities and toured as an early grindhouse film. Freaks did not exist in its complete form for almost 30 years.

Interesting note about Browning, he was a sideshow performer and talker in his youth. For his act, he was 'The Living Corpse'. He would pack himself into a coffin and be buried, only to be dug up later with no ill effects. This from the man who would go on to direct a film about the undead Dracula.

Another strange thing about Freaks, before I go. The film owes it's survival to the church of Satan. Founder Anton LaVey was a former carnival worker and he adored the film. He collected numerous copies of the film, which were in very poor shape due to age, and compiled the complete version you see today.

I've only seen "Freaks" once about 5-6 years ago. I do remember the theme of "HaHa look at them, take advantage and oh shit i fucked with the wrong clique" but at the hotel i was disappointed because, well, it was the last two minutes of the flick. For some reason, The scene of the guy with no arms and no legs rolling and lighting a cigarette with his mouth stands out. More so, when he's going after the (SPOILER DELETED) with a knife in his teeth.


Whatcha think of "Devil Doll"? Only seeing it once, i liked it. I wouldn't consider it horror so much as maybe drama/suspense. The 1930's effects were pretty good, too.

I thought that part was one of the best moments in cinema.

He looks like a bag of potatoes.

There were some great visuals in the film.
Prince Randian was just one of them. LINK

Any Troma fans here?



EDIT: Oops - missed the first few posts. Discuss anyway!

Here's a true under-appreciated classic.



Not exactly "horror", but trust me, this movie is horrific.

I just sent ROG a copy of that. I imagine a review is pending. The cover and title alone warrant an article.

Exactly!


:)

My favorite Fulci film! Great gore, ridiculous plot, horrible dubbing...and the best villain ever: The evil Dr. Freudstein!

I have this movie on dvd. :) Also if you want a true example of ineptitude in film making check out Manos Hands of Fate. Otherwise known as Hands Hands of Fate. I also have this one on dvd.

Gangs of the Dead and Zombie Nation were horrible B-movies but once you see them they are stuck in your mind for the rest of your life.

Renato Polselli is a king of Italian trash cinema- part Fulci, part Argento, all crazy.

His best known flick is the Reincarnation of Isabel (a.k.a. Ghastly Orgies of Count Frankenstein (with a title like that...))

I sam that movie, and it blew my mind. I was laughing so hard i could barely keep my eyes open.

Flight of the Living Dead was hilarity in its sheer shittiness.

When I was a kid, the Ghoulies box cover freaked me out. Then I watched it again and it was so extraordinarily stupid.

My brother used to watch Popcorn and Shocker (the boss from X-Files plays a murderer!) over and over until mom hid the VHS tapes.

I thought IT was ok until the end...the end was really stupid to me. But Tim Curry knows how to sell a character. They said on the DVD commentary that all of the other cast members wouldn't have anything to do with him because they were so freaked out.

That was Tim Curry? heh

Futurekill is amazing. It's like Robocop's retarded ornery little brother.

Has anyone seen the "Hell Comes to Frogtown"? If not, you need too. Roddy Piper is one of very few fertile men left in the US (maybe the world), and he's recruited by the US military to save a group of women from frogtown (a city populated by frogs mutated by nuclear fallout), and impregnate them. If that isn't enough for you, then the explosive jock-strap they fit him with so he won't run away should seal the deal.

Well that was nice program... i always see that...

I don't know if this one was brought up yet or not, but has anyone heard of "Manos: Hands of Fate"? It is quite possibly the most unintentionally hilarious movie I've ever seen. Consider:

*It was made by a fertilizer salesman on a bet, with a budget of 19,000 dollars.
*The salesman played an immortal dude with a bunch of wives, his wife made the costumes, and his daughter played the little girl in it.
*They had enough lighting for about a foot in front of them, which gives us a memorable scene in which a police officer goes to "check out" an area and only steps about two inches away from his car. The lighting also attracted moths, which shows.
*"Manos" is spanish for hands, which means that the title is actually "Hands: Hands of Fate"
*The camera they used could only record about thirty-two seconds and could not record sound. All of the cast was dubbed over later by two women and one man.
*There is a totally unrelated subplot of two teenagers making out in a car. This was put in because the female actress broke her leg earlier on and couldn't do her original part.
*The only people who actually got paid for acting in it was the little girl (who got a bike) and the dog (which got a bag of dogfood).

Nope

You need to see it. It was one of Mystery Science Theater's best episodes. Try YouTube.

What is Mystery Science Theater? It sounds weird. O_o

I think it's a cartoon.

No, it's this great tv series.

What it's about is that there's this mad scientist called Dr. Forrester who wants to take over the world by finding the ultimate bad movie, one so bad it breaks the will of whoever sees it. To test which movie's the worst, he kidnaps a janitor named Joel Robinson, takes him to a satellite called the "Satellite of Love" and forces him to watch the movies. For company, Joel invents three robots - A girlish one named Gypsy, the goofy Crow, and Tom Servo. The show generally consists of Joel, Crow, and Tom watching the movie and making sarcastic remarks/observations about it. After a while, Joel escapes the satellite and Forrester replaces him with a man called Mike, who basically serves the same purpose as Joel.

Sounds cool! What channel is it on?

Is it new?

No, actually it's older and off air. Sci-Fi used to have it and then Comedy Central and both got rid of it. Really stupid move if you ask me. The show had a HUGE cult following and surely got great ratings and money.

But there's DVDs of the show and many episodes are on YouTube. Also, try to find the movie they made (they riff "This Island Earth"). I don't think it's too hard to find. Netflix might have it.

What time do they air?

It doesn't. They don't show it on TV anymore. >:

That's the one where Robocop in bondage gear hosts right?

I don't think so. For the first few seasons it was hosted by a guy named Joel and after Joel left it was hosted by Mike.

I'll just wait till they make a new season, I hate having to go back and start from the beginning. How's the animation, is it CGI?

No animation. It's all live action. And there are no new seasons. It's done.

Here, this episode's considered the best:

Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnGiaS9uOf8

Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEGeN...eature=related

Part 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlaaA...eature=related

Part 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6xlE...eature=related

Part 5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2ibI...eature=related

Part 6
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw0b1...eature=related

Part 7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp7ZM...eature=related

Part 8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAWXc...eature=related

Part 9
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61UBu...eature=related

Part 10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7WYA...eature=related

This is great! They should make a movie!:hypno

They did. The movie they rifted in it was called "This Island Earth". The problem was, they had to make it really short for some reason and had to cut some good stuff (for example, in the movie these scientists name a cat "Neutron" "because he's so positive!" but it was cut)

It is really funny though, and I reccomend it.

nah, looks pretty shitty if you ask me. Prob never going to watch it.

I was trying t watch it, but those guys kept talking over the movie. WTF? Can you mute them on the dvd?

That's the point of the series. The movies are really bad and the guy and robots make fun of it.

Maybe if there were 2 guys and a robot that might work. Or some kind of talking monkey or something.

You guys have no taste.

I taste delicious. That's what....

Yeah. The mad scientists ("Mads") needed one human to test the movies on and the first guy made the robots himself for company. Ironically, he used parts to make them that would have allowed him to start and stop the movie.

Hahahha, seriously? He must have been super bored to make robots. What did he use, a gumball machine for parts?

Why doesn't he just leave or close his eyes?

Dr. Forrester has various punishments for Joel/Mike not watching the movies, including shutting off the oxygen and electrically shocking him. And yes, I know those are fatal but the series tended to have the audiences suspend belief. As the opening song says "Remember this is just a show. You should really just relax"

Interestingly, a deleted scene in the movie nearly has Mike die of air loss, but that's because the oxygen tank breaks and not because of Forrester.

Oh, and he did seem to use a gumball machine to make Tom Servo. One of Joel's characteristics was that he was a tinkerer and inventor. He worked as a janitor for Forrester, but the scientist didn't like him so Joel was shot into space as a test subject. It's possible that he's smarter than the Mads.

If he's up in space how does the forrester see him? Did he make a camerabot too?

Yes. Forrester has these monitors that watch the subject. There's also a cambaot that Joel created that's supposed to be the one the audience is watching through.

This is a terrible conversation

I bet the show doesn't have any gypsies though.

Probably in some of the movies it did. It did have a weird saytr-type guy name Torgo (taken from Manos: Hands of Fate)

Not even any gypsy robots?

Or birds?

guys can we stop pretending to not know what mst3k is already

The Giant Gila Monster. It was awesome! Who can resist cheesy lines like "Get me some o' that sodee pop!" And... well... giant animals destroying cities is always cool! Not to mention, the director also made The Killer Shrews, a cult classic that ranks up with of Godmonster of Indian Flats.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Giant_Gila_Monster