See Max, last time I think I remember seeing you you were crying over cosplay cleevage.. I figured those scared you so bad you ran to a country that's never heard of cosplay.

Either way though it doesn't matter what the reasons are, its awesome to know your still alive let alone back with us.

NEVAR 4GET

I've been locked up in that kids basement for two damn years. She is harsh!

I have been reading this site since 2004. Never registered. Until now.

Because I had to tell you how much I missed you. So glad to see your funny, horrible words again, Max. It's been too long.

I really hope you mean a different "basement" than the one she's packing "down there". Anyways, I knew you couldn't resist coming back even with your sexual identity crisis revolving around your meth addiction. Glad to know you're at least doing well?

Heck I just thought you were gone for two years because you were putting together Barry Bonds' perjury trial defense and now that you had all your ducks in a row and it was actually going to trial you had some spare time to drop in for a bit.

I had just assumed that you fell victim to the great hooker uprising of '09. At least zombies never give you gonorrhea.

I think the reasons he's not telling us is that h doesn't remember where he's been these last few years. He just now woke up in Tijuana with a bad hangover and a new tattoo that vaguely resembles Madonna naked.

Good to know you're back from living it up in Hawaii after robbing us all blind!
Did you manage to get BRAND MAX BURBANK stapled to every streetlight, and cheap hooker standing under said light?

I heard you had become fabolusly wealthy after answering an email from the nigerian national lottery and finding out you had won!

After like four or five years of lurking, I registered an account just to say that I-mockery feels a little more whole again with Max back in the saddle. It's just a shame that they found our hideout in Pakistan...

Maybe now I'll stop being a dick and actually contribute to the community.

Maybe not.

The Messiah! He has returned!

MAX HAS DIED
MAX IS RISEN
MAX WILL COME AGAIN

Obviously he got captured again