Hmmm ... tip taken but consider the source. Not everyone can be as mature as you and I. A superfluous tip to FS: pulling on my pigtails ain't going to get you any closer to Spooneyville because, as MrAdventure duly noted, I am of the weewee possessing variety with "exit only" signs posted. Just sayin' :bow

Max, would it help if I laughed obnoxiously hard at my own jokes and persisted in trying to get everyone to 'swing'?

Kelly, I think you'll be happy to know I make no distinction in gender when it comes to eviscerating people while calling them names, if it makes them feel 'special'.

Follow that up by eating my sphincter and your a shoe-in for "Fear Factor" :yum ... assuming you can get past that sticky little requirement to be able to do at least one pull-up. :blah

This is going to ruin the thread if we keep it up for too long. I'll close with "Ack! A crack at my physical condition! How justly aimed!" and have another brandy.

I don't actually drink brandy. But if I were an alcoholic married couple, I would.

"I came home to find Mona my wife of 30 years laying on the $4000 Indian carpet. I knelt down and Mona lifted up her head and spoke with a smell of semen and Dom and had the nerve to tell me she was leaving me. I took out my keys to my Rolls and stabbed her over and over but she was too fat and I just rolled her off the carpet, took the carpet and left.

Mentioning a costly carpet and Dom does not mean you get what I'm talking about at all. In fact, it only shows just how little you understand what I'm talking about here.

It was refreshing though, to see you get through a whole post without talking about farting in a bathtub.

Whats funny about sluring rich people? Write something funnier than mine.

Go to the Vissionary Darkness section and read anything by me.

I do not see how someone who's favorite movie is Brazil could find anything in your post even remotely amusing.

summer fun is my favorite. Brazil has a very good poopy joke in it. Robert De niro and Oh and I just wanted an example of what you are trying to explain[/list]

The gratuitous semen smell, marginally motivated and zestless violence and unintegrated fat joke kind of spoiled it.

I should be nice and say I appreciatted the effort, but I'm still iritated by the manner in which you lept upon this board.

I've got nothing against a good 'potty' joke, but it has to be very good to rise out of the bowl.

I wasn't looking for a critique. bla bla bla bla enough about me. I will speak slooowly this time. Can you provide an example of what you where trying to esplane? Keep saying I am dumb and you can't even provide a simple example.

can anyone tell me what the joke here is?

cause Fartin said something very funny.

:loo

shit. i should've saved that url so i could be leeching off chojin. :(

http://www.popndeth.com/imock/loo.gif

I'll clean it up later tonight so it can be a real emoticon :(

BRAVO FARTIN!! BRAVO!!!

cool. :P

I despair.

Fartin.

This entire thread is meant to be humorous. I am not becoming an alchaholic, or establishing a 1920's style 'set'.

IN THIS THREAD I've given examples. I haven't the time or inclination to craft a piece solely for you. If I'd meant this to be an essay instead of a thro away, I'd have written it and sent it to Mock to publish in the Vissionary Darkness section.

This board is an adjunct to a site. I write for that site. The description of the sketch earlier in this thread is about as close as I'm going to get right now. I had thought about writting a piece, but the prospective pleasure has been utterly leeched via this conversation.

Should anyone wish to hire me to write this or anything at all, even 'farting in bathtub' jokes, I am of course for sale at rates a whore would turn up his or her nose at. My children are hungry.

I will give you $5 to write me a hilarious illustrated story about DDR :(

On that note, I think we should all pool money monthly or something to get Max to write us hilarious illustrated stories :(

It'd be like a NEWSLETTER :o

"THE MAX BURBANK EXPERIENCE".

The money for script I am currently writting for the museum is ear marked for plumbing repairs. Does that give you some hint as to the glamorous art life I'm living?

Henry Miller used to write semi-literate porn for a private collector, 1$ American per page. This was in the 1920's.

I ain't no Henry Miller, but there's still been a lot of inflation since then. $10.00 bucks a page and I'll write anybody anything. No rewrites, though.


And no kissing.

:(

Don't let it bring you down
It's only castles burning
now find someone who's turning
and you will come around


or, alternately

Here we go lopp-de-loo
Here we go loop-de-lah
Here we go loop-de-loop
All on a Saturday night.