Useless B-Horror Flick Knowledge
 

Well since the old threads in the old ezboard will die soon, and ill really miss the b rated thread in the old one, so heres the new one!!!!!! enjoy and revel in the b-rated movie ness ness ness ness

edit: corrected the title of this thread. -rog

It wasn't called this, asshole >:. But I miss that thread, so I'll start by saying that you all need to see demons.

SORRY MY MOMMY WON'T LET ME SEE B-RATED MOVIES UNTIL I AM OLDER :(

A cool show to see b-movies being made fun of was "Mystery Science Theatre". They focused mainly on the Science Fiction genre but they were still b-movies. Funny as hell and great for learning about sarcasm.

Slugs.

one of my personal favorites was the cars that ate paris, i wish i had a spiked covered vw

Deadbeat at Dawn. Somehow it manages to provide some interesting fight scenes for a minuscule budget.

wow pau lthat sounds like such a cool show, i have NEVER heard of it before. What station was it on as i have never ever seen one episode of it. :troutslap

The Cockroach That Ate Cincinatti.

Godmonster of Indian Flats.

Seriously, if you want some twisted shit, check out any Something Weird DVD you come across. Those have everything you could want.

good b site
 

Before I get any wiseass replies, let me say that I am well aware that this will not count as a TRADITIONAL b-movie horror flick, but it's the only one that jumps to mind right away.

Toxic Avenger. Gotta love Troma. The most fucked up, cheesy movies you'll ever see. If ya don't believe me, try Tromeo and Juliet.

Truly sickening. Which of course means funny as fuck.

I won't bash you for Toxic Avenger, it's a damn fine movie.

And buy the Tox Box gift set: all three Toxie movies plus the Toxic Crusaders DVD for under $30. Well worth the cash.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the Toxic AVENGERS the Troma movies and the Toxic CRUSADER was the short lived cartoon series?

I'm not the world's biggest Troma junkie, but I watch what I can get my hands on. Sgt. Kabukiman was funny as hell!

cannibal the musical was great

"Neon Maniacs" is a great film about a group of unexplained zombie type creatures from different walks of life (kind of like the zombie Village People: there is a native american, a samurai, a doctor, a biker and much much more) that are water soluble! Making for some good battles including bath tubs, water pistols and a fire hose! The most ridiculous movie I've ever seen, leaves you asking, "Why?"

The Forbidden Zone and Jesco the Dancing Outlaw are two of the funniest films I've ever seen. The soundtrack to the Forbidden Zone is damn good as well, if any of you are Oingo Boingo fans. Jesco's underground fame landed him a chance at stardom by appearing on the Roseanne show years ago. Unfortunately Jesco had huffed too much lighter fluid to remember any lines. They did show him tap dancing during the closing credits though.
Sorry, those aren't horror. How about Street Trash or Blood Diner? They were supposed to be horror but I couldn't stop laughing at them either.

How about any of the movies from the "Trancers" series. I used to love that crap as a kid.

But then, of course, we left out the Grandaddy of all B-Movie horror flix.. the Night Of The Living Dead movies.

Now, I remember liking this movie, but I can't remember the exact name of it, maybe one of you knows.

In the beginning of the movie, there's a SWAT team of some sort (I believe it's a SWAT team, I'm going by fading memories here) going after zombies in a slum and then all these people run off into a mall or something, and in about the middle of the movie the zombies are locked out so the two guys who are locked in the department store start looting the place... etc etc etc

Anyone know?

What is dawn of the dead alex? yeah dawn of the dead was the king of the series. Exploding faces zombie kids and a seen where a mexican gets his stomach torn open and gnawed on

ahh yes. Sorry, I just have so many god damn tapes (over 1,000, which is why I should get the title of I-Mockery Resident Movie Nerd) and a bazillion of them have "of the dead" or "dead" or something of that effect on them. It'd take me FOREVER to watch thru all those movies again just to find a specific one.

I saw half of one on the scifi channel at four in the morning a few years ago.

Also, Return of the Living Dead is my favorite zombie movie.

In Toxic Avenger, how does the guy in the Mexican restaurant robbery who gets his arm torn off die?

Hobgoblins. a good example of a movie trying to build off of the success of Gremlins.

Also the Slumber Party Massacre movies series.

Return of the living dead. I watched it when I was 10, and back then it was scary as hell... somehow... Probably because there was no way to eliminate the zombie threat, and they could talk... I think it was because of this movie, that zombie movies, even the ungodle cheesy ones, still scare me... I mean, Dead-Alive creeped me out, and I watched that in broad daylight, about a few months ago.....

My sister and I sat up one night and watched Chopper Chicks in Zombietown. Boy that sucked. It did have Cycle Sluts though. One scene I remember had these blind kids getting off of there "special bus" and one of the blind kids had on a watch. I remember thinking that was funny cos if he was blind how could he see his watch to see what time it was?? Maybe it was a braile watch.

Buttcrack
 

I saw this movie called Buttcrack at Best Buy the other day. Apparently this guy has this chick he wants to move in with him but she won't because his roomate is a pig and always has his crack showing. So homeboy kills him. The guy comes back to life though and sucks blood and the only way you can kill him is to drive a wooden stake into his buttcrack hence the title. You can thank the Troma guys for this one.

edit: DON'T POST IMAGES THAT REQUIRES FUCKING PASSWORDS TO VIEW THEM, YOU DOLT.

Two words.

JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER.


That was more like 4, but you get the idea.

Blood Diner

sick, twisted, disturbing, and oddly hilarious.

Evil Dead 1&2

So b-rated it's unbelievable. Bruce Campell was such a bad actor back then!

Now he's old and has a mustache :/

You are the biggest cunt EVER :|

There's a early Peter Jackson movie that doesn't get much attention, that's called Meet the Feebles. Its like an R rated version of the Muppet Show. Its pretty good.

Everyone should know about Jack Frost, but don't forget about Uncle Sam.

I just saw this fucker on HBO last night. Playmate of the Apes. Whoo boy, that was, well, I'm at a loss for words, to be honest. They couldn't go for more than five minutes(literally) without busting out in softcore lesbian action. Correction:BAD softcore lesbian action.

Don't get me wrong, I don't usually watch those movies, but I was both bored and sober, which is always a dangerous combination.

I saw the most fucking hilarious movie EVER a few days ago. It's called Truth or Dare and it was directed by b-movie hero Tim Ritter. I can safely say that this is the funniest movie I have ever watched in my life. The acting, writing, and editing had me and my buddy Jesse in stitches. We have about a million inside jokes thanks to this movie. Watch this with a large group of friends and let the laughter begin. I wish I could say more, but I don't want to spoil it for you guys. Do yourself a favor and watch it.

Attack of the Killer Lamposts was pretty off, but my favourite would have to be...

THEM!

blarg
 

redneck zombies - the story of a redneck who tried to use toxic waste to make moonshine.

the best thing about the movie was the tabbacy man. who was evillllllll....yet cool at the same time

Dawn of The Dead, I love the polka music when the zombies are wandering around the mall. The fake blood in that movie made me :).
I can't believe I posted this :(

If you want to see a bad movie with awful character development seE M.D. GEIST directors cut.God that movie is horrible.Just a guy that kills things and ends up destroying the world becuase he cannot stop his fighting ways it makes me want to break the tv when the SEX scene between geist and his girl happen.ANNOTING....

I thAnk thet YOU'RE dEstroTING deh WorLD WIT your ANOTING SpaHlung.

Why in the hell must he mock me?Damn you.Damn you straight to the next millienium.IT is scary your not.

Not only is IT not even remotely scary, the book is about 10(insert large number of zeros here) times better

Cough...
What about Peter Jackson?
Bad Taste? Dead Alive? Meet the Feebles?... Ok, so meet the Feebles wasn't actually horror... But comeon!
And I love Troma films! Tromeo and Juliet :D

I just did a big feature on Dead Alive recently:
http://www.I-Mockery.com/minimocks/Dead-Alive

And yes, Bad Taste was a great flick too. I hope he does horror movies again sometime. He's doing King Kong next. :/

Holy shit on a shingle..

I thought I was the only person on the planet that'd seen Tromeo and Juliet.

Those of you with eagle-eye memories (or some shit like that) will remember it's the only movie review I ever did for the main site and it made the Spotlight :(

Yeah, Have you seen any other Troma films? Red Neck Zombies, Cannibal the musical? I love Troma films...
Oh another great film, 1,000 maniacs.. Or what it 10,000 maniacs.. All I know is it was great, gorey, and funny as hell!

You're talking to the King of Useless Horror Movie Shit Trivia :(

Sweet, My kinda person...
Have you seen Susperia? That's another great horror film.. I love horror movies... My friend just finished a horror called Killer Weed, And another did Redwood... Hopefully, one day those will be popular... They are going on sidewalk fest I am sure :)

I'd have to watch it again, as I've seen so many horror movies that I can't recall them all by memory alone anymore...

I did find that Buttcrack movie they were talking about earlier in this thread at Best Buy a coupla days ago but never got around to watching that.

Anybody a Killer Klowns from Outer Space fan? I loved that flick as a kid, and still watch it anytime I see it on cable. For some reason I find the way they incorporate all the clown stuff into the murder to be quite clever.

I liked that movie... But IT scared the shit outta me... I am not a big fan of clowns now... Sigh.

Even if it WEREB'T on digital cable all the damn time here :hat, I have it on DVD. Well worn DVD, mind you :(

What about..
 

The Critters movies? They're hardly horror, but the first two are endlessly entertaining to me. I've only seen the first two, though.

Well one of the only ones I have seen lately was "Terror Toons" and it was fucking hilarious. Before that I would say "Clown House" was the last decent one I can remember, though a b movie it was suprisingly good.

Anyway.

the doctor in terror toons creeped me out

Ghost Rig was good. Britsish/Scottish people in it. Better than Ghost Ship imo. Own both on DVD. I rented it at blockbuster and decided to buy it ( months ago ). 26.74 on DVD for a B-movie! Yet again, I get burned by Blockbuster... :/

I watched Jack the Ripper last night. I wasn't impressed.

Kingdom of Spiders...Bill Shatner at his best.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a great one.
Glad to see a mention of Critters came up, but how about Ghoulies?

Ghoulies Sucked filthy ass.....scrabbling through my pile of crappy B-Movies all my parents send me i found "Deep Shock" and a $5.00 copy of "Them"(a Friggin Classic) but deep shock was funny because a military rtansport plane crashes into some clearly styrofoam boulders then it looks like they used a CG animation stolen from a PS1 CG program because terrible

You forgot Army of Darkness! Even though it had a better budget it was still pretty bad, while still good at the same time. Oh and Bruce is the man.

Myone ever heard of "Deep Evil" it was on Movie Central on monday after i got home from school its a crappy B-Movie Combination of Resident Evil:TM, The Rock(Sean connery), Aliens, and the Blob. It was without a doubt the dumbest thing i have ever seen, At the end some woman is shot in the head at POINT BLANK RANGE and it only leaves a Pinprick of blood on her Forehead!!!!!

zombie 90........gawd i need to watch that again. bad german zombie movies are the best. especially with overdubs.

The radios the soldiers use at the end of 'They Live' are one of the instruments the Ghostbusters use to detect ghosts.

Please tell me someone has seen it... Trick or Treat

Also Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, and Army of Darkness :wank

seen em all. tirck or treat rules, but try out Shock'em Dead. another rocker/satan movie. worth it!!!!

whats the b in b-horror mean?

barbequesause

B as in: 'A' being films with a decent budget, and actors that can act, and 'B', being 'shitty'.

Holy crap. I just rememberd that I posted in this thread when I saw my own post. I'm such a loser. I was at a crappy haunted house last night, which was about as scary as i dunno, watching ghostbusters with a worse special effects budget. (They did have some pretty good Ghostbusters there though.) But they had a bunch of B-Movie/ Horror movie trailers playing on a line of t.v.s while you waited to get into the haunted tool shed... i mean house. There was a small room off to the side which i deemed the haunted tool shed. The house it self wasn't much better. Like a bad movie that your part of. All these losers running away from people, and me and some other guy were walking with the "scary" actors while not phased but the psyco with the chain saw behind me.

while not phased by the psyco with the chain saw.*

Useless? Maybe... I find it interesting
In Cannibal! The Musical, when they reach the "Indian" reservation, Squeak goes to talk to the girl, right? Well, when he walks off, or rather just before, you can hear him jingling keys in his pocket.

They say that and other random randomness in the commentary silly >:

CHUD CHUD CHUD CHUD CHUD CHUD CHUD CHUD CHUD CHUD

A C movie

Killer Klowns From Outar Space.

Attack Of The 50ft Centerfold

has anyone seen the most outragously b movie ever its called blood diner

I saw blood diner. There were some funny moments in it.

oh yeah the naked slut getting her head held down in a deep frier while she screams and then having her get out and running into things with a 2 metre tall head completely covered in batter then getting it knocked clean off. and the fat guy who gets repeatedly run over,and the car which does all those wheelies like on a snoop dogg video and smashes a security guards head open and to many other s to mention SHEETAR

When they were chopping up pieces of the rival resturant owner as he was trying to get away was pretty funny or the whole beginning scene where the uncle first tells them that they have to complete his mission.

There's another B movie I'm reminded of called "Psychos in Love" its kind of like "Eating Raoul" but bloodier.

I drink your blood is a funny one

:boob i love the movie monster squad the greatest b movie ever besides army of darkness

What about Mother's Day... Now that was a cheap B-flick....

I own 6/7 of the Toxie's Triple Terror Sets.
Let me read off the titles:

Curse of the Cannibal Confederates
Demented Death Farm Massacre
Deadly Daphne's Revenge
Evil Clutch
Chillers
Beyond Evil
The Dark Side Of Midnight
Nightmare Weekend
Nightfall
Croaked: Frog Monster From Hell
Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan
Video Demons Do Psychotown
Dead Dudes In The House
Space Zombie Bingo
The Newlydeads
Death By Dialogue
Play Dead
Mommy's Epitaph

But my pride and joy/crown jewel is...

Dracula's Dog..

Yes, that's correct. My friend found it at a garage sale and
sold it to me for five bucks.

You need to get the triple b-header with Rockabilly Vampire on it... that movie kicks ass

ATTENTION:

Wizard of Gore remake starring Crispin Glover and Jeffrey Combs in post production. Now to wait.

B movies arent fun anymore >: I rented like 4 from a store: Leeches, Junior and some other shitty ones and none of them had any good points to them.

Have you seen Night of The Creeps yet?

You can find a ton on amazon, such as Hard Rock Zombies and there was one friggin movie I can't remember right now, it has Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne in it.
It's about some kids at a high-school dance playing some rock star's old album backwards at midnight, resurrecting him with a thirst for revenge against those who have wronged him. I saw it on Amazon, but no matter how much I try, I can't find it again. Dammit, I knew I should have bookmarked it.

Night of The Creeps is ungodly. I saw it when I was 10 and since then its been one of my faves. Its because of this movie that I have high hopes for "Slither"

Ditto man, but I won't be able to see it tomorrow.

I'm so out of the loop. The first time I saw the trailer on TV, (recently), it said Space Slugs, Zombies, etc. And I said (and I quote)," What, are they remaking Night Of The Creeps or something?"

Then I saw the "Slither" logo.

That stuff looks awesome, I hope I'm not so engrossed with the film that I miss Lloyd Kaufman's role.

I'm coming to get you bastards! *heehee*

Who else owns a copy of Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter?

The movie you were talking about ealier w/ Gene Simmons and whatnot is "Trick or Treat" and it is B-movie excellence.

I thought about trick or treat for some reason, but I thought, "Naw, It had to have had 'High School' or 'Rock' or something like that in it."

It's Trick or treat. I've got it on tape. It's the funniest fucking b-movie ever. The part where Curr starts shooting laser beams out of his guitar is the goofiest scene in any movie ever made.

I'd say the scene where the kid is vaccuming up that fried old lady is pretty goofy.

I bought "Versus" over the weekend...
A candidate for greatest movie ever, next to Heavy Metal.

Bubba ho-tep is the greatest B-movie there is. Where else can you see an aged Elvis and a old, black JFK battling an ancient mummy in a retirement home?

Actually, I think the greatest B-Movie slot may be occupied by Six String Samurai.

Oh yeah, i saw 6 string samurai 2-4 years ago. It was pretty damn good.

I bought Choking Hazard about 30 min. ago.
I'm gonna go watch it now.