pretty damned hard to go wrong with cookies. Hell, even those shitty
packs of generic cookies that cost .50 cents at Wal-Mart make for a
pretty good snack. So you can imagine that when I saw Pillsbury's
Halloween Chocolate Chip Cookie Kit, I pounced on it like a wolf on
a wounded infant.
Cookies are good
enough alone, but these ones come with a lot more. Once you're done
making them you get to put icing on them! As if that's not
enough, there's edible decorations with some spooky designs
on 'em. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to eat my
Halloween decorations only to find out that they weren't edible.
Thank you, Pillsbury, for making decoration consumption possible
this season. Thank you.
Ok, as tasty as that
icing may be, they've given me WAY too much. And I know
exactly why they're doing that too. It's so they can skip on the
cookies. You only get 12 cookies in this package, which not much at
all when compared to the standard cookie kits you find in grocery
stores. Still, let's give them the benefit of the doubt that the
icing and edible decorations will make up for the cookie shortage.
I AM A
After spreading them
out evenly on my cookie sheet (which I really need to wash one of
these days), I popped the cookie dough blobs into the oven and
waited for them to hatch into real cookies. And hatch they would...
Just look at them.
Perfect golden brown cookies just waiting to be consumed.
Unfortunately, you have to wait 10 minutes before you can even put
the icing on them. This killed me. The cookie smell wafted through
my apartment and was making me crazy. This had better be worth it...
Excuse me, would you
like some cookie with your icing? See what I mean about them giving
far too much icing? I mean, I like icing as much as the next guy,
but there is just a ridiculous amount of it included with this kit.
It was far more than 12 cookies could hold even when I spread it out
with a knife.
I can't complain too
much though, cuz that just allowed me to lick the icing off the
knife a lot more.
The edible decorations
were sealed in a shiny pouch that instructed me not to remove them
until I was ready to use them. Why? What would happen if I took them
out early? Would they just disintegrate before my very eyes? As much
as I wanted to see them, it wasn't a chance I was willing to take,
so I waited until I had icing on enough cookies and then I busted
them out. There were four decorations: a crazy vampire, a crazy
ghost, a haunted house, and a crazy witch. You know the characters
are crazy because of the way their eyes are drawn.
see how that works?
ARGH! You'd think that
you could eat the cookies once you place the designs on them, but
no... you have to wait another 10 goddamned minutes! This totally
takes the fun out of making fresh cookies because they're no longer
piping hot by the time you get to eat them. I do have to say though,
the cookies at least look pretty damned awesome. Just look at
them. Colorful. Covered in icing. MUST. EAST. NOW!
As tasty as the
cookies and the icing were, I was kind of let down by the
decorations. I mean, you'd think a crazy ghost would have some
flavor, but in all honesty I couldn't even taste the decoration...
just icing. So I guess it's totally for aesthetic purposes. Oh well,
at least these cookies taught me how to draw things that are crazy
lookin'. Good times.