The Very Last Summer Vacation Ever: Chapter 3

The Very Last Summer Vacation Ever: Chapter 2

The Very Last Summer Vacation Ever: Chapter 1

The Very Last Summer Vacation Ever: Prologue

15 Things That Are Not The Reason Max Burbank Has Been Away For So Long

More True Science News
Facts For kids!

Dave's Emotions

A Standardized Test Measuring The Condition Of Your Soul

An Essay Recommending John Hodgman's New Book That Sadly Ends Up Being Mostly About Me

Turn Your Brain Off

The Santa/Jesus Variations

TV Shows I Really
Wish Dexter Morgan
Would Visit

So You Got Laid Off

The Best Summer
Of Your Life

Let's Go To The Beach!

Your Termination Package

50 Awesome Tattoo Ideas

The Very Last Summer Vacation Ever!

Jokes From The Max Burbank Joke Book

A Short, Untitled Play
For Marionettes

25 Premises Involving M.O.D.O.K

Things My Old Man
Taught Me

Bottled Waters Guaranteed To Aid You
In Your Quest To
Become A Douchebag

True Science News
Facts For kids!

The Geek Hierarchy

How "The Lord Of The Rings" Would Have Been Different If I Were Tasked With Carrying The One Ring Instead Of Frodo

50 Sentences And 3 Pictures I've Had
Hanging Around

New Jersey Dogs
Of My Acquaintance

A Brief History Of Valentine's Day

Scenes Of My
New England Boyhood

Seven Dreams Involving "Super Nanny" Jo Frost

McDonald's Ad Campaigns Through the Years

Husbandry: Chapter 1

Your Anger Management FAQ

Home For The Holidays

My Grandfather's Thanksgiving Toast

What I Did On My
Summer Vacation

Your Carpal Tunnel

My Summer
Vacation Themes

The "I Don't Like It" List

How I Plan To
Spoil My Daughter's
Harry Potter Mania

Fourth Of July
Family Funtivities

Corporate Diary

Tips For Young Writers:
Plot Development

Famous Pirates

How I Deal With
Stage Fright

The Thirteen Stages Of Eating At Golden Corral

A Brief History Of
The Easter Bunny

The Broadsheet

Tips For Young Writers:
Uh-oh! Writer's Block!

Pi Day

Why the Live-Action Transformers Movie
Is Going to Suck

Brand Max Burbank

Jet Blues

The Junk Drawer
Of My Despair

Black History Month

Superbowl Ad Time
Put To Good Use

January 30th:
This Day In History

How's It Going?

Did You Know?

Psychic Predictions
For 2007

Let's Laugh At Death

Get Rich Quick

How I Am

Public Restroom Etiquette

The 150 List

The Xmas FAQ

The Grinch Who
Scalped Christmas

An Open Holiday
Letter From Jesus

My Holiday Memories

Ways To Spice Up Your Holiday Shopping

The Playstation 3 Opportunity

Turkey Talk

Depression Made Easy

Things I've Noticed
About Los Angeles

Tips For The Modern Dad

Signing The
Harassment Policy

Tips For Aspiring Writers

A Concerned Parent With Bipolar Disorder Addresses The PTA

Happy New Year, 2006!

An Open Letter From Santa

Time To Be Thankful Again

Video Game Censorship

Unrated vs. R-rated

PETA Is Human Abuse

The Reaper N' Me

My Letter To Santa

My Thanksgiving Prayer

My Prayer

Don't Fuck The Children

Anime Conventions:
A Descent Into Decay

I'm A Breeder

My Wild Life:
Chapter V

Another New Year Again?

The Doctor's Office

Annual Staff Winter
Party Memo

Cold Shoulder

Crappy Holidays

Maryland Must Die

The Promise Of
The Rainbow

Osgood Mott,
Breaker Of Taboos

The Shaving Industry Lies

Amusement Parks

Horseback Riding
Sparks Imagination

Free Comic Book Day

Fuck Freedom Fries

My New Year's Resolution Message Board Post

Horseback Riding
Sparks Imagination

Not-So-Smooth Criminal

How To Rout Boredom


Summer Fun

Model Cars Hit And Run

My Wild Life:
Chapter IV

"The Price Is Right"
Really Scares Me

My Wild Life:
Chapter III

Blood Drives

My Wild Life:
Chapter II

My Wild Life:
Chapter I

April Fool's Day

On To You

The Healing Powers
Of Goop

House Of The Dead

Where Fwog?

New Game Shows

President Threatened
By Free Time!

Ridiculous Revisionism

Mall Madness

Holiday Update Letters

Santa's Updated Policy

It's All Worth It

Bees Don't Kill Smokers

Thankful Is My
Middle Name

Horse Enthusiasts

Chrysler Concorde
Ad Campaign

The Spectral Groper

Behold The Evils
Of Cheese

Make A Wish

So What?

A Little Free
Floating Hostility

Truth Found Under Nose

Video Store 9-11-01


Resting In Peace


Slow News

One Step To
Web Trendiness


Customer Or Guest?

Beware Of Drama Freaks


Family Reunions

The Celebrity Scourge

The Midriff Prophecies

Where Do You
See Yourself?

I Hate Clowns

A Few Things That
Have Been On My Mind

Lazer Tag:
Memories And Violence

The Chicken Theory

Here Comes The Future!

Memorandum: Part 2

The "Chosen Ones"

Well, I Never

Vacationer In Chief

A Tribute To The
Almighty Kuhli Loach

Slippery Slope

The P.C. Starter Kit

On A Date With Destiny

My Personal Space

Fancy Cars

Great Ideas Looking
For A Backer

The United Sows
Of America

Space Shoes

Pets Are Evil


Podunk Towns

The Story Of The
Easter Bunny

The Monkeys, The Bed,
The Bouncing and Me

Fight Of Your Life

April Fools

Distance Equals
Rate Times Time

Camels Don't Come
That Small

Mir Landing Suggestions

I Hate "Smart People"

The Devil Made Me Do It

More Award Shows, Please


Nothing But Shat On TV



Somebody Kill Me,
I'm Still 56k

Under The Weather

Sharing The Road

College Is A Waste

A Guide To Putting
Your Child To Sleep

The Eternal Nightmare: Grocery Shopping

I Hate The Superbowl

A Message To Those Who Remove My Laundry

Twins Are Creepy


Job Fairs

Silence is Golden:
No Phones

A Tribute To Apartment Security Guards

City Parking Hell

The REAL New Millenium?

Snow Sucks

Spreading The Disease: Teenagers


The Many Joys of Cursing

You Better Watch Out

Getting Even With
Your Computer

Career Day

Bright Lights, Dim People

Nobody Likes A Smartass

Good Grades

I Hate Shopping

Hooray For Napster

My Burden

Spite Crimes

The Truth About Fiction

Outrage Fatigue

I Hate Wrestling

Damn The Bank

No Quiero Taco Bell

Throw Away Your Phone

Wal-Mart: Lords Of
The Underworld

More Than Meets
The Eye No More?

No Confidence

I'm Saving My Serotonin

Daytime TV Sucks

Do Not Mow The Lawn

Make The Kids Cry

In Defense Of
Blue Food Products

I Don't Trust The
Gorton's Fisherman

I Hate: Part 3
The Hate Lives On

I Hate: Part Deux

I Hate: Part 1

You're Going To The
Video Store, Eh?

Valentine's Day Is A Crock

The Precious Experiences of Job Hunting


Raves Need To Be Destroyed

Acquaintances Or Annoyances

Smoking = Death

The History Of
Visionary Darkness