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No idea what to be for Halloween this year? No problem! Take this Costume Quiz! Why not? You let the damn internet tell you what Star Wars and Lord of the Ringís character youíre most like, so itís not like this is going to make you any more of a schmuck.

1. I think ______ is really scary
Growing up
Brian Dennehy
That sore in my bad place
I'll never, ever tell

2. If I could be anything, I'd be
A superhero!
Anyone but me
Not a serial killer, that's for sure!
Hervé Villachez, but alive

3. I think clowns are
You know those aren't clowns you son of a bitch

4. In haunted houses, I
Like it when people dressed in costumes jump out at me
Hate it when people dressed in costumes jump out at me
Haunted houses are so gay
You think a haunted house is scary? Try growing up with an
     alcoholic father

5. I think the most common fear is
Public Speaking
Brian Dennehy

6. If my dad was a Halloween costume, he'd be
A vampire
A werewolf
Grizzly Adams, but without the bear fucking
All hollow and rubbery with a zipper up the back

7. If my mom was a Halloween costume, she'd be
A Witch
A Ghost
A 1970's Prostitute
I can't help the way she dresses!

8. My favorite kind of movie is
Anything with girl scouts
The kind that seems like a mass-market film, but is really
     secret instructions just for me.

9. On Halloween I like to
Go out trick or treating
Perform mischievous pranks
Stay home and give out candy
Bore a hole in the candy bowl and stick my 'wiener' through it

10. A good costume for a pre-teen boy is
Wolf Blitzer
A package of expired meat

11. A good costume for a pre-teen girl is
Ilsa, She-wolf of the S.S.
Brian Dennehy
A package of expired meat

12. My favorite Horror writer is
Stephen King, because I have nothing but free time and no
Anne Rice, because I am gay as the day is long and all my
     friends are fat
Edgar Allen Poe, but I'm only saying that to make myself feel
     superior to you, my Gay, Fat Friend
Dean Koontz, because I'm a human sack of crap and I
     wouldn't know a friend if they were strapped to my 'wiener'

13. The best costume I ever had
Was store bought
Was made by my mom
I made myself
Made me understand things about myself I had been
     sublimating for years

14. When I put on a costume I feel
Less likely to be picked out of a line-up later

15. Latex Masks
Are great! They make your costume seem real
Stink! They totally hide who you are! It could be anyone
     under there!
Are cool but way too expensive for one night
Give me a boner you could hang a coat off

16. The best part about Halloween is
The candy
The costume
Feeling closer to Satan
Running around my neighborhood naked and weeping

17. When I was a little kid I ______ imaginary friends
Did not have
Slaughtered other kids'
Put Barbie clothes on my 'wiener' and showed it to my

18. I've noticed that this test
Seems to be designed for boys
Is a little misogynistic
Uses the word 'wiener' more than once
Gives me a boner you could hang a coat off

19. Razor blades in apples
Are an urban legend, it never happened
Are a serious cause for concern and why children should
     never accept unwrapped treats
Is a great name for a band
Are hazardous to your 'wiener'

20. Trick or treating during daylight hours is
Strictly for your serious "Momos"
A sign of the end times

21. I hate it when kids
Ruin a great costume with too much reflective tape
Wear the same store bought crap as everybody else
Come to my door without a costume and expect candy
Act like they don't know what they're doing to me when it's
     clear they were made for it

22. The best Halloween prank is
Toilet papering
'Find the candy corn in my pocket'

23. The perfect ending to a great Halloween is
Pigging out on candy
Sex with someone

24. ______ is a great Halloween party game
Bobbing for apples
That thing where you blindfold someone and stick their hand
     in a bowl of peeled grapes and tell them it's eyeballs
Throwing a hair dryer in when someone is bobbing for apples
That thing where you blindfold someone and stick their hand
     in a bowl of eyeballs

25. Fake blood is
A great addition to a spooky costume
Going too far
Not as good as real blood

26. You should stop trick or treating
At 13
At 15
The day after Halloween
Because no one wants to waste candy on an idiot like you

27. My favorite Beatle is
Brian Dennehy's 'wiener'

28. I first went out trick or treating with
My parents
My friends
In the company of strangers, in the quiet of a railway
     station, runnin' scared

29. This Halloween I will not
Drink heavily before trick or treating
Make kids 'pull my finger' if they want candy
Kill anyone
Put a Brian Dennehy costume on my 'wiener'

30. I take tests like this because
I don't know what I want to be for Halloween
To kill time at work
I'm a hopeless, spineless sack of crap
Thinking some computer test may help me understand some
     aspect of myself keeps suicide at bay for another half-hour

-Quiz content provided by Max Burbank
-Quiz assembled by Pop'nKO and Whoreable


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