The second annual
Richmond Zombie Walk occurred on Saturday, October 21st, continuing
the tradition started by RoG last year. In some ways this one was
better than last year's, as we had a larger turnout, with rough
estimates from anywhere between 120-140 zombies (hey, have you
ever tried counting moving zombies? Sure, they move slowly, but they
shamble around in groups with body parts sticking out every which
way, and you've always got to watch your six, man!! I know
one guy who didn't watch his six because he was too busy
getting a headcount, and now? Fucking zombie, that guy, which is why
you always watch your six), but it lacked some of the
spontaneity of last year in favor of a more planned-out route.
"OH MY GOD! They’re
coming!! Run!!! Oh. Wait. It’s just zombies.
I thought it was bums coming to beg me for change."
Last year I went as a generic zombie (I had just shredded up some
old work clothes that were already slightly torn up), and while
that's all fine and good for most people, I wasn't about to do it
again. This year I decided I needed a theme, because it's the themed
zombies that really stand out in the crowd. So I went around to some
local thrift stores hoping to find some kind of uniform, and I
struck gold when I discovered a 7-11 employee shirt for the low, low
price of $4.98, allowing me to dress as a zombie who could
inadvertently make a Romero-esque bit of social commentary about
consumer-driven society—oh, you know what, fuck it, it was just a
7-11 shirt and I thought it would be funny.
The sad thing is that after they’ve worked there
long enough,
7-11 employees start to actually look like this.
Last year I didn't really have much of a plan at all for makeup, as
I just smeared some of Re's actual makeup makeup all over my face,
trying my damndest to look more horrific than pretty. Fortunately I
didn't end up looking like a zombie in drag, though that'd be a
pretty awesome theme do to one year, come to think of it. But this
year I actually went out and got some real Halloweeny type makeup,
and it made all the difference, as I think my zombie look was much
better this time around. So we gathered our small group of zombies
over at my house to put on makeup and get our costumes ready, and
then we piled into one car and headed off to the meeting place at
the park.
Here are some of us at the park meeting
place before the Zombie Walk.
Of course, since five zombies trying to share two bathrooms to put
on their makeup is kind of like living with five teenage girls
getting ready for a date, except that they're zombies and they're
getting ready to kill instead of kiss people (or maybe both, if
they're into that kind of thing), so naturally we were about a half
hour late to the meeting place, and arrived just in time to hear the
rules (zombies live by rules too, or they can get sued for assault)
and announcements, participate in the group picture and then head
off to descend on Carytown.
These are the two brave souls who took the reigns
from
Roger this year and headed up the zombie walk.
Now one cool thing we had this year that we didn't have previously
were "spectator zombies", who were plants in the crowd dressed
normally that the zombies attacked en masse. After a brief trip
inside Premiere, Carytown's costume shop (they had requested a few
zombies make a run-through) I came outside just in time to witness
the second of these zombie attacks, and it was pulled off
masterfully. I missed the first one but I heard it didn't go off so
well; well, not so with the second one!
Wait, are those zombies or early Christmas
shoppers?
It’s so hard to tell the difference.
This hapless civilian got a little too close to the zombie horde,
and quickly found himself grabbed by several zombies, at which point
he fell to the ground. A large group of zombies immediately gathered
around him, leaning down and flailing their arms toward him. I
managed to get myself on the outer ring of zombies surrounding him,
so that I could see what was going on inside the ring and so that I
was helping to block the view of people watching from the street.
The zombies helpfully shredded up his clothing, applied a quick bit
of makeup and fake blood, but from outside the circle it looked like
they were completely tearing into him. After about 45 seconds of
this, the zombie horde backs off and this guy stumbles to his feet
and begins his own zombie shamble down the street. I wish I had a
picture of this event, but people were apparently too busy running
for their lives instead of taking pictures, as no pictures have
surfaced yet.
This Hunter S. Thompson zombie was one
of the more
amusing themed zombies.
We continued on our way down Cary Street, getting all kinds of
wonderful reactions from the onlookers. This year I noticed more
favorable reactions from the crowd; there seemed to be far fewer of
those "too cool for this" wankers who tried their hardest to ignore
one hundred and twenty groaning, shuffling zombies all around them.
We turned many a head in the cars that drove by
that day.
About halfway down our first run through on Cary, my favorite moment
of the whole event occurred. From around a corner stumbled five guys
dressed up as mummies, who forcefully broke their way right down the
center of our zombie horde. Nobody expected this at all; the
organizers knew nothing about it, so it was a complete surprise to
everyone.
The mummies begin to charge through our ranks.
And the best part was
that I didn’t see anyone break
character during the mummy intrusion. The zombies groaned in
surprise, as zombies will do, and the mummies cried out in simulated
confusion as they rounded the corner and encountered a horde of
zombies. It must have looked utterly insane to anyone on the street,
with the mummies making mummy noises and the zombies making zombie
noises (they sound quite different, after all).
If you ever have to take a shit in the woods, bring a
mummy along.
After the mummies broke through our group, they crossed the street
so that they could break through again after we looped around to
come back the way we came. Then they disappeared, and we never saw
them again.
The mummies prepare for another not-so-spirited charge.
We finished off Carytown without further incident and then headed
off to Monroe Park, where we met up again to go shambling around the
Virginia Commonwealth University campus, which included a trip
through the library (as we did last year). And the good thing is
that last year after the Carytown portion of the walk, we had lost
well over half our number (down to about 30 zombies), this time
around we still retained about 80 zombies who stuck around for the
entire walk.
Yes, we even had a
Stormtrooper zombie.
And
that’s Jaeger S. Meistersen behind him there.
Unfortunately, the students happened to be on fall break that week,
so the crowd of people we had around the campus was a bit smaller
than we were hoping. We limped our way through the VCU commons (a
building with lots of little places to eat where students hang out),
which were unfortunately almost empty, but I imagine from the second
storey balcony we must have looked quite impressive.
Zombies shuffle their way through the VCU
Commons.
Then we went off the VCU library, which was awesome last year for
its sheer spontaneity, and I have to say that while it was good this
year, it was lacking a little something this time around. Despite
the students being on fall break, a lot of people were in the
library. Most of them just looked annoyed or tried to ignore us, but
we did get a few laughs from people who seemed quite happy we showed
up to break up the monotony of their day.
Even zombies like to read. Books: check ‘em out.
As we were gathering to enter the library and quieted our growling
and moaning significantly, many zombies noticed for the first time
the Stephen Hawking zombie playing voice clips on his computer
growling for brains, and many of the zombies found it difficult to
contain their laughter once they could finally hear it. Fortunately,
there was no one else around to witness this breaking of character.
Because as we all know, ZOMBIES DON’T LAUGH.
This was by far my favorite themed zombie. He
had several people pushing him around throughout the Walk, but this
one was the funniest.
Another thing I love is that immediately upon exiting the library,
many of the zombies howl or moan loudly now that they can make noise
again, but while you’re still inside the library you can hear it
echo from the glassed-in entryway, and it sounds awesomely creepy
from inside. From the library we shambled around to the high-traffic
Broad Street, where we passed by some store fronts before making it
back to the park and calling it a day. Unfortunately there were no
street festivals we happened to pass by this year, but perhaps next
year we’ll get a little luckier with our scheduling.
Zombies love pizza. Also, their faces often
look like pizza.
All in all it was a great time, and more impressive than last year
for our sheer numbers if nothing else. If this trend continues, the
Zombie Walk should get bigger and better every year, with more
amusing themed zombies and a generally more impressive crowd
overall. I also hope that we’ll see more spontaneously bizarre shit
like the mummies in the years to come, but then again, if it becomes
an institution, it won’t be spontaneous and it’ll lose some of its
appeal.
This Bob Ross zombie was another themed favorite. I
heard he would take his red "paint" and smear zombies up with more
blood, though I didn’t see it.
In any event, I can’t think of a better way outside of a whorehouse
to spend a Saturday afternoon than dressing up a zombie and
shuffling around on public streets and moaning like you’re mentally
impaired. Give it a try sometime! (But don’t blame me if you get
your ass kicked because you’re stupid enough to do it alone instead
of with a large group).
BONUS! Click on here to see a movie clip of zombie Stephen
Hawking calling out for brains!
