Do I get fries with that?

Yes, that's right folks. The wonder-cook of the world, Martin Yan, has proven himself to go where no chef has gone before. When one of his recipes on his show went bad he was confronted with making up a new recipe on the spot. What did Martin do? "Well, it was very hard to think of something, so I had to improvise with what I had," said Yan. He grabbed his two children, put them in a Wok and began his new meal. "This way, these children will not have to live in a horrible world like this, and we can also enjoy them in a very good soy sauce!" I was in the audience at the time and everybody was pretty skeptical about this recipe at first, as was I. Believe it or not, this was quite possibly the best food I've ever had. And the rest of the people in the audience were in total agreement with me. One lady shouted, "Hey Martin! Thanks a lot! I'm due to have sextuplets in a few months and it's right in time for Thanksgiving!" We all laughed and cheered the entire time. I can't remember when I had so much fun. We here at Visionary Darkness Insanity Central salute Martin Yan for saving two children from a horrible life on this pathetic planet that is quickly withering away.

I mentioned a new book that Martin was planning on releasing to the public in the future. Well, I begged Martin to give me a copy in advance. His response was, "So you want the book, eh? Then you must sacrifice a part of your body as an offering of friendship!" That's right. Martin wanted me to cut off a part of my body so that he could include it in his recipes. I cut off my left-small toe (or the "pinky" toe as some people call it). I mean, hell, I don't need it I guess. He mocked me and called me a "weakling coward man" for not cutting off my arm or something. Still he took pity on me and gave me a copy of the book. So I now present it to you. I will put up some of the recipes that are found in it later on. Here it is: The Yan Can Kill Book, by Martin Yan!

The Book Is Real!
See! I told you I wasn't kidding! This is REAL!

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