Man, this buggy is Tricked OUT! There's all kinds of pop up weapons; looks likes it's all rigged to do smoke screens, shoot spike balls out the back, oil slicks, who knows what all cool ass tricks! Why it even has a steering wheel full of buttons that control all your options, just like the powerful Mach Five from Speed Racer!

You hop in next to Ruggy, and the fluffy dude hands you the keys. As soon as you start the engine, the band onstage starts playing the Peter Gunn Theme, just as if this were that cool arcade game Spyhunter! and you can't help but put the PEDAL TO THE METAL, BABY! Metal heads, that is, cause Try as you may, it's nearly impossible to drive through this crowd of big haired sad sacks without killing somebody, and eventually one of them goes under your wheels.

"WHOOO-HOOO!" Ruggy screams, as the Ozzfest Wiener you just hit is surprisingly transformed into a tombstone instead of a mangled dead looser. Suddenly you GET IT! All this weird crap! YOU'RE IN A VIDEO GAME! It was sort of like Spyhunter, but now it's more like you have a Spyhunter Dune buggy, and you're in some crazy ass version of the controversial 1976 'Death Race 2000' Arcade Game, based on the cult classic 1975 Paul Bartell movie of the same name, starring David Caradine, a young Sylvester Stallone and produced by Roger Corman! That must mean the more Metal Heads you kill with your car, the more points you get!

And with Ruggy cheering you on and bouncing up and down in the passenger seat, boy howdy, do you ever run over a lot of people, which is when you notice a GIANT SYLVESTER STALLONE AS JUDGE DREDD IS TRYING TO PULL YOU OVER AND GIVE YOU A TICKET!!!

Thinking quickly, by which I mean panicking, you look at your steering wheel and push: