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Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
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Sexual Moments in Video Game History

A sort of poo Buddha.  A Poodha.
TOILET KIDS!

I admit that I had not heard of this game up Ďtil a couple weeks ago. Of course, given the title, how could we not include it in our little list? Thatís right, we couldnít. We were absolutely helpless against the will of Toilet Kids. Anyway, as far as I can tell, Toilet Kids is the story of a young lad who wakes up in the middle of the night, in need of a bathroom break, and is sucked into his toilet to battle the mysterious, dangerous forces within. Arenít foreign cultures wonderful?

And no toilet paper in sight either.

Ah yes, a truly frightening enemy indeed. Woe unto those who wrong the giant urinal and his toilet bodyguards. And not a urinal cake in sight.

But I could go on and on about what other kinds of weird crap is going on in this game. Giant, neatly-coiled piles of shit, crap-throwing frogs, golden poo, etc. But thereís something else that I think you all should see.

He shouldn't have drank all that soda.

Thereís the unnamed hero of our bathroom bonanza.
Aw, look at him. Heís sleepy! What a cute little kid.

Uh oh...

Hey, wait a minute. What the hell are you doing? Hold on just oneÖ

Lovely.

Aaaaauuuuuggghh! Oh for the love of God and all that is holy!

Now I know what youíre thinking: this is the worst cutscene Iíve ever seen. Well youíre right. Thereís really nothing more to say beyond that. Just rest assured that someone is going to hell, and for once, it isnít me.