...CONTINUED
Meanwhile,
the warden is taking a tour of the kitchen with his piece of crap son.
After giving an order to significantly reduce the amount of food served to
the prisoners, he overhears one of the prisoners grumbling about how
poorly the prisoners eat. He cheerfully accepts the criticism.
Just
kidding. He grabs the prisoner and thrusts his arm into the meat grinder.
Once most of the prisoner's arm has been ground up, the warden grabs the
meat tray and shows it to the prisoner so he can see just how much meat
can come from a single arm. A lot, as you can see.
Just then,
the AW comes in through the wall. I guess Ricky was tired of the blind guy
trying to lead them to the door. From the kitchen's door, however, comes a
guard to tell the warden that all the alarms in the prison are going off.
Knowing where to start, the warden draws the strange gun from his belt and
advances on Ricky and the prisoners.
Thinking
quickly for a change, the prisoners grab the AW and use him as a shield.
The warden, however, doesn't care, and just shoots the AW. And it is then
that we find out that that's no ordinary gun he's got.
The AW
starts to swell like a balloon. Shocking, yes, but more shocking is what
the warden says to him: "you're worthless to me, Dan." Dan was the AW's
name this whole time? I had no idea. Well, bye bye, Dan.
I hope
someone laid a tarp down ahead of time. With the human shield gone, the
warden turns his gun on the prisoners. Before he can fire a shot, though,
Rogan appears and asks of them the question, "who wants to die first?"
Before
anyone can volunteer, however, one of Brandon's needles comes shooting
through the wall. Ricky plucks it out of the air, and then when Brandon
tries to pull it back, Ricky kicks through the frigging wall and knocks
the little bastard down. So worthless.
Foolishly
believing that Brandon can take care of himself, Rogan tries to put one of
the prisoners into a smaller grinder, but Ricky makes it over to him in
time to wreck his designs of making a delicious man patty, and the two of
them exchange a few blows, but that's not important. Take a look at this:
Old Brandon
has finally killed somebody with those puny weapons of his. He even throws
him on top of the ducts above the stove for good measure. The remaining
prisoners are pissed, though, and are raring to get a piece of this
weakling, but Ricky steps in again and tells them to "get away first". And
they do, by taking the prison dumbwaiters. They even manage to convince
the little fat kid to push the buttons for them, much to the chagrins of
his dad.
With out of
the picture, Rogan and Brandon team up and come at Ricky together. Rogan
knocks him into the stove, Brandon drops the ducts onto him and then hits
him in the knee with a needle, and Rogan pins him with one foot. Then
Rogan just crosses the line.
He dons his
smug smile again, and then he arches his eyebrows and wags his fingers in
a manner that pretty much annihilate the last vestiges of his masculinity.
Oddly enough, it's right about here that the fight starts to turn in
Ricky's favor.
Rogan
presses his attach and backs Ricky into the prison's giant cappuccino
machine, and Brandon rips off one of the pipes so that Ricky gets a back
full of steam.
Rogan moves
in to finish the job, but his slow-moving kick is easily dodge by Ricky,
and he winds up with his leg in the steaming wreckage. And now, Ricky
intends to make sure that Rogan never kicks another dog in half.
He chops off
the stuck leg, and breaks the other with a punch. Then, he grabs Rogan's
arms and breaks those too. When he stops screaming, Rogan begs Ricky not
to kill him, and I believe that he doesn't kill Rogan. At all. The movie
doesn't show it either way, so I assumed that Rogan got off light with
just a few broken limbs. Hell, he could probably put those back on with
his unorthodox kun fu, or something. Hell, you have to suspend disbelief
just to understand the bit about car parks and prisons being businesses.
Brandon,
realizing that he has no hope of even wounding Ricky on his own, turns
tail and runs. The warden, disgusted by Brandon's cowardice, shoots him in
the ass with his explody gun as he tries to get away in a dumbwaiter.
It's about
time. I can't believe that he was the last of the Gang of Four to be taken
out. What a worthless sack that guy was.
Losers aside, it's time for Ricky's final showdown with the warden.
Believing that his gun will have no effect on Ricky, the warden gives his
gun to a guard and tells him to escort his son out. And then, the battle
commences.
He hurls the
table at Ricky, but Ricky hops over it and kicks the warden across the
room. But that just makes the warden mad. Mad enough to transform…
Behold. The
warden has turned into a gigantic monster. How else are you going to end a
movie like this than with a fight between a freakishly strong young man,
and a freak? There's nothing better, I tell you.
Anyway, it
looks bad early on for Ricky. A punch that would have disemboweled a
regular person does nothing to the warden, and he smacks Ricky right
through a pillar. Ricky gets back up, stretches a little, and tries the
same move again, this time with better results.
Ouch. As
you've figured out by now, though, a mere gaping stomach wound is not
going to end a fight. The warden shrugs it off, grabs Ricky by the neck,
and hurls him into some nearby ducts. When it finally dawns on Ricky that
his blows are ineffective, the warden makes a startling announcement:
He's from
the same school of martial arts as Ricky: Chi Kun. At this revelation,
Ricky remembers what his uncle said about Chi Kun feeding on strength. It
doesn't have anything to do with what he does next, but I suppose it's
worth mentioning anyways. Ricky does a little roll and gives the warden
some impromptu knee surgery.
And as
he's falling, Ricky gives him the ol' Rib-Tickler.
After
getting his hand well in the warden's chest, Ricky lifts him over his
head, and spots out of the corner of his eye a way to win the fight: by
executing the movie's greatest coup de grace. The one the makes all the
other coup de graces look like coup de blahs.
He tosses
him in the meat grinder. It's still not that simple, as the warden still
has some fight left in him. He even tries to strangle Ricky, but with his
lower body being turned into groundchuck, he doesn't have the strength,
and Ricky slips out of it and pushes him into the meat grinder amid a
downpour of blood.
Words fail
me at this point.
I'll just
let these four pictures show the last moments of the struggle:
Man am I
hungry. And look at all that freak meat. The prisoners are going to eat
like kings.
Out in the yard, however, the battle still rages. Well, it kind of rages.
The prisoners clash with the nightstick-wielding guards, and are fighting
them to a stalemate. Until Ricky arrives with news.
He shows
them the freak head, and that kills the whole fight atmosphere. I don't
think any of them recognized it as the warden's, but it's so grotesque
that who would have the stomach to keep fighting? Not them.
After
showing off his trophy, Ricky tosses the head aside and makes a run at the
wall. To do what, you ask?
Yes, he
broke down the damn wall. That fiery fist really would have come in handy
earlier, but hey, what do I know.
Ricky turns
around and tells the prisoners, "you are all free now!" That's great,
Ricky, but you do realize that not all of these guys are innocent old men
making toys for their children, right? There are probably a few serial
killers and pedophiles in the group that you just liberated. Oops, sorry.
Didn't mean to ruin your moment. Amidst the cheers of his fellow inmates,
Ricky walks out of the prison, and into whatever else comes next for a
super strong escaped convict. The end.
In closing, the Story of Ricky is one of those movies you watch with your
friends, and every few minutes, you wind up saying to them, "hey watch
this" because of all the crazy crap that happens in the movie. Pet
mutilation, intestinal strangulation, effeminate psychopaths, and
hamburger. The dialogue: negligible. Between the goofy dubbing and the
ludicrous gore, you'll be too busy laughing your ass off to even consider
this as a serious movie. And that's why I love it. And I hope you did too.
I look forward to seeing the sequel, where Rogan and the fat kid team up
to get their revenge on Ricky. Or at least that's what I would have in the
movie. Oh Ricky you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind.
Seriously, blew it all over the wall.
