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Günther Levi IS your Pleasureman

Those of you who are already familiar with Swedish music sensation Günther Levi will wonder what the hell took so long for him to appear on I-Mockery. And those of you not familiar with him? You're in for a life-altering experience. Günther is the alpha and the omega of musical expression. Seriously, this album is soooooo insanely bad that it actually comes back around to being good, and may in fact be one of the finest albums ever recorded. So perhaps the title graphic for this page should look more like:


What really gets me is Günther's apparent status as some kind of sex symbol. I mean, there are eleven songs on this disc and every single one of them is about fucking. I'd be surprised he didn't call the album "Songs About Fucking", if not for the fact that Big Black already used that title. Seriously though, this mullet-haired guy with the collagen-injected lips, complete with sweaty caterpillar moustache is in some way desirable? Apparently in some backwards-thinking part of the world, he is.

Don't deny it, you're turned on already, aren't you!

Gold Digger [click to listen ]
As soon as you hear the opening notes, followed Günther's creepy assertive moan of "I'm so sexy", you know you're hearing something truly special. And after about the fifth time that Günther goes out of his way to remind you just how sexy he is, well, you'll just about start to believe him. SUCH is the power of Günther! He's also quite the lyricist, dropping lines like "I feel like a king when I'm swinging my thing". His backup singers, the Sunshine Girls fill the vapid space of this song with lots of meaningful "la la la's", which is appropriate, as this is a deeply emotional song about chicks marrying rich guys for their money.

• Ding Dong Song [click to listen ]
This song was quite the sensation on the internet for a while, and as soon as you hear Günther open the song with "Ohhhh, you touch my tra-la-la! Mmmm, my ding ding dong!" accompanied by the sound of a moaning woman, you'll see why! I've never heard anyone refer to their penis as their "tra-la-la", but that certainly gives new meaning to that moment in Labyrinth when David Bowie cries out "Nothing! Nothing!? Tra-la-la?" in anger (and perhaps it also explains why his stuffed pants keep getting more and more stuffed throughout the movie). This song also has the Sunshine Girls singing lots of momentous "la la la's" in the background, which create a female counterpoint to the more male "tra-la-la", giving this song a rich depth of sexually charged social commentary, proving that Günther is a man who has something important to say. And that something is "Deep in the night, I am looking for some love".

• Teeny Weeny String Bikini [click to listen ]
This song starts out normally enough, like any other you'd hear in a gay dance club, with a female vocalist singing about how "this is your night" and Günther whispering that it is in fact a summer night. Then he inserts an "Ooh-la-la!" (notice a theme here?) before stating simply "Teeny Weeny String Bikini" for no apparent reason in his creepy post-coital-summoning- feelings-of-intense-regret-deep-inside-you whisper. Günther also proves he knows how to come-on to a girl in that oh-so-smooth kind of way with the line "I saw your body, I saw your lips, I saw you dancing and moving your hips/you have a sunburn, like chocolada, it's you, me and pina colada".

• Touch Me
Here we have Günther covering an old Samantha Fox song, and the best part about it is that he actually dug up Samantha Fox from whatever ditch she was passed out in and got her to do vocals, which is so directly in between of hilarious, scary and sad that they should probably come up with a new adjective for it.

Pleasureman [click to listen ]
In this title track, Günther regularly grunts "I'm your Pleasureman, uh-huh/you will be my fan, mmm-hmm", followed by a moan that strongly suggests that he just ejaculated into a soggy gym sock. But really, what else can I say about this song that's funnier than these lyrics: "I come to you in the niiiight, with my shining party/In my Ferrari gain the way in for me I can try a dance...no romance"? And then later in the song he talks about being on stage stripping, saying "I'm doing my theme in my golden string". Come on, ladies, you know you all totally want to go to the club where Günther strips. Don't even try to deny it.

• Crazy & Wild
This song opens with Günther asking us "Do you want me like this? Or do you want me like that?" before the Sunshine Girls start in with some "na na na's" (apparently he felt we would be tired of the "la la la's" at this point. The real question he should be asking here is "Do you want me at all?" because I think the answer is a resounding "NO!" across the board. Later in the song he groans "take your chance, (only it sounds more like he says "shance") let's do the mating dance/It's a sexual thing, you know my, ding-a-ling".

• One Night Stand
This song starts out sounding almost like something you'd hear in a goth club, until Günther starts singing "In the night, in the morning/you don't need" and then he never finishes the thought. That's it. He just sort of leaves you hanging in suspense. Fortunately the female voice in this song later finishes it for him, adding "to be shy, shy shy" to finish the sentence. She seems to be a bit confused, saying that she "never planned for a one night stand/give it a chance it could be romance", but then later she says "give me a kiss, then bye bye bye!". Probably at that point the drugs wore off and she wondered what the FUCK she was doing.

• I'm Your Man – G.Ü.N.T.H.E.R. [click to listen ]
I absolutely love this song, because it's trying sooo hard to sound sexy and steamy, with this saxophone sexing it up in the background, while Günther spells out his name, where the different letters stand for different adjectives that describe how awesome he is. For example, "Gracious, Über-Cozy, Natural, Toyboy, Hero, Enjoyable, Romantic" and then he sums it all up with "I'm the man". I'm kind of guessing what the Ü stands for, because it's hard to understand him on that part. Later in the song he gives himself different adjectives: "Gorgeous, Über-cool, Nasty, Techy, Hunky, Extravagant, Racey". Oh yeah, when I think of Günther, I definitely think of how technologically-oriented he is. And I'm sure all the girls think so too.

• Naughty Boy [click to listen ]
This track takes us back to the disco era in a big way, with one of the Sunshine Girls opening with "You naughty boy!", but the way she says it, it almost sounds like she's saying "Nazi boy" instead. In this song Günther tells us "I'm a ladies man, always ready to answer a call". Okay, so he's basically a male prostitute, is what he's telling us. Later in the song he says "I am the one who never ever close the door, darling come with your flower and I will give you more". Okay, so he's a male prostitute who doesn't even have the fucking decency to close the door when he's with a client? This Günther has got SOME nerve. At one point in the song he also advises "I'm your sexbomb. Hold me tight.". Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Hold that sexbomb, cuz he's about to explode all over you!

• Enormous Emotion (I Love You)
This is another one of those slow and steamy songs that's trying to be all sexy, only then Günther starts talking and suddenly it becomes insanely hilarious instead. In this song he tries to stir up our emotions, telling the woman he loves that he wants to celebrate his love with "enormous emotions". Yeah, I'm sure he's thinking of the emotions that are enormous, and not something else. But the absolute best part of the song is when he says "I don't love you, because you're beautiful/you're beautiful, because I love you". Yes, my friends, Günther has the ability to even turn an ugly duckling into a swan. That is how immensely powerful he is.

• Ding Dong Song (Soft Core)
We close the album on a "soft core" remix of the Ding Dong Song, which attempts the Herculean feat of making the song even sexier than it was before (is that even possible!??) by slowing down the beat and taking out most of the upbeat music and adding a piano to the mix. This isn't the same wet-behind-the-ears enthusiastic Günther we were listening to a mere forty minutes ago. This is a more mature, world-weary and wiser version of Günther. It's almost like he knows that his quest to find meaningless sex is, well, meaningless, but he's still going to get out there and go for it anyway. Because he is Günther, and that is what he does. His fans are depending on him.

In conclusion...

Günther Levi (as well as large portions of Europe) may be completely unaware of this, but he has recorded one of the absolute best comedy albums of all time. I defy anyone out there to listen to this album three times and then tell me it hasn't changed your life for the better. Of course, the songs alone aren't half as funny as his music videos, which are all available for your viewing pleasure at Günther's official website. Be sure to check them out to get the FULL Günther experience (and make sure you listen to "Tuttifrutti Summerlove" which is only available on some versions of the album). Well, actually that's something of a misnomer, as I believe the full experience requires a topical cream afterward.

Günther will love you like he loves the Christmas puppies.

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