Comics

Protocomics!

"Can I Borrow Some Sugar?"
by: Protoclown
(Originally presented in Marvel Zombies: Dead Days by Robert Kirkman and Sean Phillips)

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Relaxing Dragon Relaxing Dragon is offline
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Sep 4th, 2008, 02:19 AM
Hah! Loved this one, it was completely hilarious. Especially love the bit when Dick Rider (hehe) comes upon Spiderman eating his wife, and Spiderman offers his explanation.

On a side note about the comic, while I enjoyed it, clearly the best Marvel Zombies was the one where they fought Ash from The Evil Dead. Clearly.
Dungeonbrownies Dungeonbrownies is offline
Crazed Techno-Biologist
Sep 4th, 2008, 02:24 AM
pretty good
OxBlood OxBlood is offline
drifting in the void
Sep 4th, 2008, 02:47 AM
Like that. I maybe should read these Marvel Zombie-Comics sometime...Zombies + Marvel seems to be a nice thing...not as good as Ninjazombies or even Piratezombies, but still nice.
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
WHAT'S THIS?!
Sep 4th, 2008, 05:26 AM
And the best part is, we all learned a valuable lesson about togetherness
greenimp greenimp is offline
grants but one wish
Sep 4th, 2008, 06:39 AM
haha, nice one mate
Mystik Tomato Mystik Tomato is offline
The Riddle Pimp
Sep 4th, 2008, 08:37 AM
Well, even though Dick Rider was something of a tremendous fuck-up, he was going to give back some sugar to Spider-Man.

And I respect that in a guy.
Commanderraf Commanderraf is offline
Commarade General
Sep 4th, 2008, 09:59 AM
"Because no ammount of Mr. Clean can get this stains off of my soul!"

Almost chocked while reading this.

Besides, Dick Rider... Really?

-Commanderraf
darkvare darkvare is offline
taco loving zombie
Sep 4th, 2008, 10:32 AM
damn it i need to get ready for the zombocalypse and wear bite proof clothing unlike daredevil
Julio Julio is offline
Member
Sep 4th, 2008, 11:05 AM
What's with Spidey's broken-glass-like mask?
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
Sep 4th, 2008, 11:12 AM
I think a Marv Albert reference would have been appropriate.

Hysterical as always, Proto - keep up the good work on questionable comics.
mburbank mburbank is offline
The Moxie Nerve Food Tonic
Sep 4th, 2008, 12:02 PM
Damn, that made me laugh. Especially "I just drunk everything in the medicine cabinet" and "Maybe he'll make you some rice"
the Platinum Poppy the Platinum Poppy is offline
Crazy dog woman
Sep 4th, 2008, 12:12 PM
Silver, I guess the artist was inspired by the movies, where he's got mirror glasses in the mask... which btw is a pretty clever way to do the spidey mask I think, how else is he gonna see without showing his eyes?
But the best thing was the name Dick Rider...
RadioNinja RadioNinja is offline
Dirty Birdy
Sep 4th, 2008, 04:17 PM
Quote:
the Platinum Poppy
Forum Virgin
Sep 4th, 2008, 09:12 AM
Silver, I guess the artist was inspired by the movies, where he's got mirror glasses in the mask... which btw is a pretty clever way to do the spidey mask I think, how else is he gonna see without showing his eyes?
But the best thing was the name Dick Rider...
I think the mask in the comics has lenses as well...it probably depends on who you ask. My favorite suspension-of-disbelief is how Spidey's mask can change the shape of the eyes to fit his expression. (Also, Batman, Green Lantern, Wolverine, Daredevil, etc...)
Julio Julio is offline
Member
Sep 4th, 2008, 05:20 PM
Well I'll be damned... And ignorant. I have always believed that those eyes on the mask were a simple white thread or another flexible material, not glass...

And yes, RadioNinja, I find it funny too as how some masks change their eyes to fit the wearer's expression.
mburbank mburbank is offline
The Moxie Nerve Food Tonic
Sep 4th, 2008, 05:38 PM
The mirror eye glass thing was a Stan Lee (or maaybe Steve Ditko) idea waaaaaaay back. I recall as a child seeing it in some back of the book extra feature about how spideys stuff worked.
Darren Spooner Darren Spooner is offline
Forum Virgin
Sep 4th, 2008, 07:37 PM
Best part: Dick Rider. You have to wonder whether that's deliberate or not...
Best part 2: "Don't you fucking judge me!" Because it's just a totally believable line. And that's hilarious.
Beardy Goodness Beardy Goodness is offline
good fer what ails ye.
Sep 4th, 2008, 10:52 PM
As for the whole "mask expression" thing, even more hard to believe is how iron man's helmet can frown.
MXL5 MXL5 is offline
A Play On Words
Sep 4th, 2008, 10:58 PM
For some reason, I googled dick rider after reading this.
Purple Man Purple Man is offline
Fanboy
Sep 4th, 2008, 11:06 PM
This has gotta be the only good thing to come out of this whole Marvel Zombies business.

Note how zombie Luke Cage got his whole disco outfit on? WTF's up with that?
Cruxader Cruxader is offline
Doctor Caliente
Sep 4th, 2008, 11:11 PM
Read the original of this the other day at Borders (Proto's version is MUCH better), I was a bit... disturbed. All I have to say is those guys over at Marvel need to set crack pipe down. Or, maybe, pick it back up as it may have fueled there creative genius before this drivel.
Nick Nick is offline
pickled
Sep 5th, 2008, 02:50 AM
Marvel Zombies is what happens when you let a good zombie writer loose on the Marvel Universe.
MrWarranty MrWarranty is offline
Movie Enthusiast
Sep 5th, 2008, 10:38 AM
Absolutely hysterical. Now I need to go and read the other Protocomics.
HowardC HowardC is offline
Member
Sep 5th, 2008, 11:50 AM
Notice how MJ conveniently tears spiderman's mask at the last second, allowing him to eat her? Seriously, ever tried to eat a ham sandwich through a spandex mask? It's pretty tough. For that matter tearing a spandex mask is pretty tough as well... I call b.s. spiderman would have to remove his mask first!

For that matter, how come getting bit by a zombie in the marvel universe gives you a magical gum-less face with razor sharp teeth in a matter of hours?
TuxKamen TuxKamen is offline
Forum Virgin
Sep 5th, 2008, 12:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HowardC View Post
Notice how MJ conveniently tears spiderman's mask at the last second, allowing him to eat her? Seriously, ever tried to eat a ham sandwich through a spandex mask? It's pretty tough. For that matter tearing a spandex mask is pretty tough as well... I call b.s. spiderman would have to remove his mask first!

For that matter, how come getting bit by a zombie in the marvel universe gives you a magical gum-less face with razor sharp teeth in a matter of hours?
I wondered that about the dental situation. Maybe in Spidey's case, he was chewing on his lips to stave off hunger but it didn't work?
Captain Awesome Captain Awesome is offline
Teenager from Mars
Sep 5th, 2008, 07:34 PM
This is hilarious, great job Proto.
Chuggernaught Chuggernaught is offline
Former Virgin
Sep 6th, 2008, 05:23 PM
"It's Dick Rider, man."
That is truly inspired.
neoboman neoboman is offline
Member
Sep 7th, 2008, 03:02 PM
"Help me, you idiot!" God I hope you do a sequel or six to this one.
copacetic copacetic is offline
Forum Virgin
Sep 8th, 2008, 03:42 PM
"FUCK THE SUGAR!"

Snarfed my water. Thank ye.
g_tonttu g_tonttu is offline
Flying Finn
Sep 27th, 2008, 02:30 AM
"Thursday night is sex night! Thursday"
-Brilliant proto! My stomach hurts of all the laughter.
Preacher Preacher is offline
Forum Virgin
Mar 14th, 2009, 12:12 AM
just think of how uber-stoked every cos play and LARPER fan out there would be if a zombie apocalypse actually occurred.

oh, and damn straight Cap's not a fag.
gimmeXpain gimmeXpain is offline
Forum Virgin
May 5th, 2009, 07:33 PM
"Don't you fucking judge me!"
Wonderful!
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