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| May 29th, 2004 12:35 PM | |||
| ziggytrix | Good luck figuring this out soundtest. Despite all the advice given in this thread, it's something you're ultimately gonna have to figure out yourself, since it's such a personal problem. | ||
| May 29th, 2004 05:11 AM | |||
| Command Prompt |
Everyone goes through this. Its called social dissonance and its the act of judgeing our own actions by comparison to others to create a sense of normality, and a comfort zone of individuality. Frankly I often wonder other people talk about and if I should be having a better conversation, but after talking to so many people from so many walks of life, all I've realized that all people talk about is the same stupid shit. If your worried about whether or not you're comfortable with your close friends anymore, its probably closer to whether or not you're comfortable with your own self. I don't think its nessessarily a bad thing that you're only comfortable with other people if you have a drink or you're stoned, thats more of way of showing others that your comfortable talking to them. So really, you're relieving thier anxiety and making them open up more to you which is what makes you more comfortabe talking, not the booze or drugs in your system. Anyway, I'm only 22 and I drink fairly occasionally and I smoke pot very often, very often now that I'm done school for the summer, and I don't really care. It doesn't bother me. I'd think I'd only have a problem if I couldn't be happy without it. You should probably just take a week off, and get it out of your system. You'll feel better, and you'll enoy it more when you start again. |
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| May 29th, 2004 04:26 AM | |||
| thebiggameover |
my adivce is to stop with the party for a wile. not quit, just take a break. then, if you still want to hang with these people, then hang. its kinda of a queston of "i like hanging with these people because i like them" or "i like hanging with these people because i like getiing fucked up" way back in the day, i was doing meth. A LOT. after a few months, this one day, i just looked at the people i was hanging with and was like "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HANGING WITH THESE CRAZY FUCKERS?!?!?!" so i stoped the meth and stoped hanging out with them. now there all in jail. except for one. who i still call a "good friend". i guess what i'm saying is you got to see things with a clear head to get a clear answer... oh yeah, i made this post while drunk... 
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| May 28th, 2004 11:54 PM | |||
| eatxmexupx | Darling... do you need a hug? | ||
| May 28th, 2004 10:29 PM | |||
| Zomboid | I'm only 17 but I've been feeling the same way lately and really want to change that. It's fucking sad when there are only a few people you can have fun with when you're not drinking or getting high. | ||
| May 28th, 2004 10:16 PM | |||
| mew barios |
mmf i know when i'm out with someone an there's nothin goin on for a lil while, i really start wishin for a drink to shut th brain up. :/ if i wasa better conversationalist then it prolly wouldn't be a problem but. ima nerd, an know only of nerd things :o
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| May 28th, 2004 09:18 PM | |||
| me |
You need to take up coke or herion or something, then you would forget all about your smoking addiction and maybe about your significant other
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| May 23rd, 2004 02:13 PM | |||
| GADZOOKS |
Friends are like bean bags but i don't kill bean bags 
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| May 23rd, 2004 01:53 PM | |||
| sadie | since i've been straight, it's been way different hanging out with the same people i used to get wasted with. last night, for example, at a friend's birthday party, everyone was stoned and on various hallucinogenics. and there was this huge vibe of self-consciousness permeating the scene. it was annoying the way these people were continuously apologizing for their obnoxiousness or their inability to think coherently. "sorry i'm so fucked up," one friend said. i was like, was that NOT your plan? shut up and enjoy your buzz, at least. | ||
| May 23rd, 2004 01:38 PM | |||
| Big McLargehuge | I love my friends, i can do anything with them and feel comfortable. But as of late i have noticed that when i am high they seem so fake, everything they say sounds forced and over thought. If they are also high it helps a little but i still hate the feeling that my friends are fake. | ||
| May 23rd, 2004 01:20 PM | |||
| Anonymous | I feel pretty much the same way whenever Emily invites me to go hang out with her college buddies, but the group she's with now is about 60% intelligent people, so it's not horrid anymore ;D | ||
| May 23rd, 2004 01:00 PM | |||
| Helm |
Soundtest I really like you and every time you say something about drug use I have to bite my tongue since I don't want to be judgemental because a) friends don't do that to each other unless they have to and b) for a person who does indulge into drugs, you seem to have it under control, somewhat. But since you're asking for oppinions especially from 'straight edge' people (which I'm not, obviously, but I neither drink, nor smoke or do drugs, or have sexual relationships, for that matter) I might as well tell you what I think about that. If you hang out with people with whom you do not feel you are communicating (be it their fault or yours), no amount of drugs is going to help things. So what to do about this comes down to your principles and ambition, really. If you're wanting to have friends with which you're going to be able to have a decent conversation, and share worthwhile experiences obviously you need to find people with whom the common thread is those needs, and not any sort of substance. They might have been that kind of people once (and you also) but you have to ask yourself if what's keeping you people together really is drugs. Because if it is you're just all dependent and trying to cope with that fact by leaning (not holding on to, but leaning) on the other dependent people you know just so you can feel less lonely about the situation. As far as I know it only gets worse from where you are currently. If I was you I'd stop drugs (no, seriously that's my advice ) and I'd try to spend more time with the things I'm interested in. Obviously without drugs you're going to be less happy. But you're going to be more self-aware, ultimately free and it comes down to what you'd rather be in your life between the two because I find that they are usually somewhat mutually exclusive.ps I'm not just talking out of my ass I spent most of my teenage years getting wasted with my 'drinking friends' until I realised that it hurt me so much to constantly do things for which I was ashamed of. |
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| May 23rd, 2004 12:21 PM | |||
| Drew Katsikas | My friends and I don't really do drugs together very often. Maybe twice a year. It's hard for us to get alchohol, but we also keep ourselves occupied. Basically, we either play ultimate frisbee or write songs and jam in our band. I find those to be entertaining enough occupations that you don't need to be inebriated to enjoy. | ||
| May 23rd, 2004 12:20 PM | |||
| glowbelly |
sounds to me like your just growing out of your friends. perfectly normal, really. the only advice that i can give you is to move on, find people who share your same interests and when you feel like hanging out and drinking or getting stoned call up your old buddies. |
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| May 23rd, 2004 12:04 PM | |||
| AChimp |
Just sayin'.
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| May 23rd, 2004 12:02 PM | |||
| soundtest |
Geggy has a point... and that's worked before but it's not really a resolution. It's another distraction and with it comes other issues. Quote:
Quote:
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| May 23rd, 2004 11:49 AM | |||
| sports | Soundtest, your answer is simple. Play some video games, watch tv, take a nap... | ||
| May 23rd, 2004 11:29 AM | |||
| AChimp |
I don't think you're doing enough drugs. The haze is beginning to wear off, and everyone is starting to notices that everyone else in the group is a total loser. Enter feelings of inadequacy and a liberal dash of "what am I doing here?" and you have the makings of a gathering where everyone sits around, smokes up, drinks a bit, and stares warily at the person across from them.
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| May 23rd, 2004 08:47 AM | |||
| MrAdventure |
okay soundtest i am just drawing conclusions from my general experience with folks that hang out all drugged up i am curious as to whether or not you actually trust these fellows, in general i mean. are these people that you have bonded with on the basis of the substances or are the things you had in common no longer viable/actual? maybe if there is a war you will all fight together in the same platoon and become the band of brothers we all want to hear about or perhaps you will be a most excellent withered old man someday on the internet wondering about this same question while blaming yourself for what is a two way street that is friendship |
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| May 23rd, 2004 08:41 AM | |||
| da blob | welcome to the world - without getting high most people are just a bore to stay around. | ||
| May 23rd, 2004 08:29 AM | |||
| Geggy |
i've been there, with the awkwardness and the boredom that drove me to pot smoking and drinking... what you need is a girlfreind. o.o |
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| May 23rd, 2004 07:55 AM | |||
| Krythor | Sports? | ||
| May 23rd, 2004 01:38 AM | |||
| Mr. Vagiclean |
we need more honest outwardly love
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| May 23rd, 2004 12:31 AM | |||
| soundtest |
for some reason i knew if anybody understood what my babbling was about, it'd be jin. i LIKE drinking and smoking. i'm not worried about addiction because (besides cigarettes), i'm not stupid enough to get addicted to anything else. what i'm worried about is this need to distract myself... distract ourselves. the need to cover up the awkwardness... it's one thing if it's around strangers, but your closest friends? seems kinda pathetic 
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| May 22nd, 2004 11:53 PM | |||
| jin |
Wow- insightful. >: I cant say anything because i feel the same way a lot of the time, its just easier to socialise with a bottle or glass of something. :o For myself, time seems wasted when im around other people- unless there is some sort of point to gathering or meeting. It seems that in most cases, this artificial need causes me to have to create something to do or a reason - usually, drinking or smoking or something equally pointless and detrimental seems to justify it. :0 Or perhaps just because i find most people boring and i need to do something that just gives me something to do. :< Or at least, that is my justification to feeling unease around people i should be most at-ease with. ;< |
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