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[QUOTE=FurankuS;266161]I need some input on this paper (good, bad, horrific grammar errors), so DISCUSS.

A Ninja in the hand is worth two in the Dojo

Are you a Ninja? Do you even know what a Ninja is?  If you are living in America currently than it is quite likely you do.  Even if you do know what a Ninja is, what separates the riffraff from the great Ninja?  Would you be a good Ninja?  Almost everyone has some sort of Ninja-like trait.  For example, Ninja are usually strong, and Mr. T is strong.  Would this make Mr. T a Ninja?  Furthermore, would he be good at it?  This question is a difficult one to answer.  Although Ninja may differ vastly from one another, a truly “good” Ninja is defined by his expertise in stealth, secret dojo, magic powers, and most importantly of all, a cool costume.
 
One of the defining characteristics of a good Ninja is his stealth. Without any sneakiness, how would a Ninja penetrate an enemy compound (or, for that matter, hide the hundreds of guard corpses)? An excellent example of a stealthy Ninja would be the Cyborg Ninja from Metal Gear Solid (a game for the Sony Playstation). This Ninja’s stealth comes from a suit of optical camouflage that renders him invisible (much like the alien in the movie Predator). Naturally, he is able to do whatever he wants without fear of detection, a luxury that most Ninja would kill for (no pun intended). When it comes to Ninja stealth equipment, there are none that compare to the Cyborg Ninja’s suit. Other Ninja, of course, are not so lucky, and have to rely on the age old techniques of concealment to disguise themselves. Another good example of proper Ninja concealment skills would be the superhero Batman’s alter ego Bruce Wayne. Wayne has mastered stealth by having two separate identities. He is able to fight crime as Batman, protecting the world from evil, and at the same is able to live a normal, non-aggressive life (as normal of a life as the richest man in the city could live, at least). Obviously, concealment is key to a Ninja’s success.

The next major defining factor of a “good” Ninja would be his possession of a secret dojo or shrine to live and train in.  All good businesses need a base of operations, so why should the business of killing people for money be any different?  An excellent example of a Ninja dojo can be found in the film American Ninja.  In this film, the villain owns a large mansion (that was probably bought with drug money; the movie was made in the eighties, after all) in the Philippines.  However, it is really a front for his band of Ninja mercenaries, who are using the grounds to train themselves.  Thus somewhat unorthodox dojo is nigh invincible (against all but the movie’s hero, of course) due to the constant watch kept by Ninja guards.  Yet another film example would be the Ninja dojo in Beverly Hills Ninja.  It is quite the secluded dojo, with extensive training facilities (and Chris Farley).  This film even shows how loyal a Ninja will be to his Dojo.  As part of the Ninja-in-training’s final acceptance into the clan, they are branded with a kettle of boiling water, forever linking them to their fellow Ninja.  A Ninja’s dojo is as much a place of belonging as it is a place of rest.

The third defining trait of a good Ninja, magic, is also the most underused.  In this age of increasing realism, Ninja magic (or “jutsu”) is seen as something old and archaic.  An excellent example of Ninja magic would be that used by Ryu Hayabusa in the Ninja Gaiden series of games.  In addition to the standard shuriken and swords, Ryu is able to shoot fireballs and project doubles of himself above and below himself.  These illustrate one of the cardinal rules of Ninja jutsu, which mandates that fireballs and magic doubles must be present.  There are, of course, exceptions to this rule.  In the GI Joe series of games, movies, television shows, lunch boxes, and every other thing that has ever been sold in the known history of the western world, the character Snake Eyes makes use of non-fire Ninja jutsu projectiles.  His, in contrast to the regular red fireballs, is a blue “Jutsu of Power”.  In the case of his games, at least, this is the only Ninja magic he is able to utilize.  Perhaps this is symbolic of the decline of Ninja jutsu in modern Ninja society?  The more likely solution is that with technology moving forward as it is, jutsu is being surpassed by devices (such as optical camouflage) that require much less training and meditation.  No matter what new technologies are developed, Ninja jutsu will always be remembered for its place in history.

Finally, the most important defining trait of a good Ninja is a cool costume.  A Ninja can have a dojo, magic powers, and stealth, but without a cool costume to tie it all together the whole ensemble falls apart.  One of the largest supporters of traditional black Ninja costume is Sho Kosugi, an actor who has been in so many Ninja films that it probably wouldn’t be unreasonable to call him “Mr. Ninja”.  In the Ninja series of films, he (along with his enemies) can be seen wearing the almost cliché black pajamas.  Due in part to this, there is a common misconception that a Ninja’s costume must be black.  Contrary to this belief, a great many Ninja have vastly different color schemes gracing their uniforms.  The greatest example of a non-black costume would be Storm Shadow, the evil counterpart to the aforementioned GI Joe Ninja Snake Eyes.  He seems to be an everyday Ninja, other than the fact that his uniform is the total opposite of black; that is to say, his clothes are white!  This illustrates a good rule of thumb that can be followed when looking at Ninja uniforms.  In general, the brightness of a costume is equal to the boldness of the Ninja wearing it, except in the case of black (which is bold as it is, since all Ninja are bold by default).  Thus, a Ninja wearing a dark navy costume can be assumed to have less confidence than a Ninja wearing a bright yellow costume covered in red polka dots (if a Ninja would ever even choose to wear a costume that looked that way).  There is a lot that can be read about a Ninja by their costume that would be lost on the uninformed.

As has been shown, four seemingly simple rules govern whether or not a Ninja can be considered good or bad.  He must be stealthy, using either legitimate techniques or advances in modern technology.  He must have a dojo, shrine, or similar sanctuary where he can rest or train newer generations.  He must have magic powers, be they shooting fireballs, projecting double images, or spraying acidic lightning bolts from their eyes.  Most importantly of all, they must have a cool costume, black or otherwise.  So, how would Mr. T hold up as a Ninja?  He is definitely not stealthy, since his favorite way of entering a building is through a hole he makes in a wall.  His van would function quite well as a safe place, and there he could teach others how to drive the van, clean the van, and maintain the van.  He does not have magic powers per se, but his necklaces could blind someone if it was bright outside.  However, he does not have a Ninja uniform, so for now he is not a good Ninja (if he is a Ninja at all).  I’m sure that other Ninja are happy to hear it.

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So there it is in its entirety.  If the plagarizing software picks this up then MONKEY MONKEY FIRETRUCK BEEP BEEP TOM WROTE THIS.[/QUOTE]

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Oct 2nd, 2004 11:46 PM
Anonymous	OH SHIT WAIT I SENT IT TO MOCK WARS
Oct 2nd, 2004 11:45 PM
Anonymous	WELL GUYS I THINK IT'S HIGH TIME I PUT THIS ONE IN THREAD BACKUPS
Oct 2nd, 2004 09:57 PM
FurankuS	(I can't edit the post for some reason...) That's an old draft of the paper, too.
Oct 2nd, 2004 09:54 PM
FurankuS	No, I'm not retarded. I just pander to the retards that give me grades so I have more time to play PSO.
Sep 28th, 2004 08:29 PM
The One and Only...	I'd hate to break it to you guys, but The Smurfs is actually an allegory for communism.
Sep 27th, 2004 10:12 PM
McClain	So you are indeed retarded?
Sep 27th, 2004 10:12 PM
FurankuS	Actually, I was well over the length requirement (it was only a 600 word minimum x_X), and most of the loopy-around words are a requirement by the teacher (I don't really have time to explain). We're allowed to use questions in the opener (not that I really give a damn; she'd only take off 5 points max if I messed something up).
Sep 27th, 2004 09:57 PM
The Retro Kat	Your introductions to your paragraphs are redundant and don't draw the reader in. It doesn't make the reader want to read, which is probably why I didn't waste my god damn time. FAILED YOU FUCKING TWAT!
Sep 27th, 2004 05:26 PM
Captain Goodtimes	It Stinks!
Sep 27th, 2004 04:15 PM
Mike	In the 3rd sentence you need to use "then" instead of "than". I know "a" and "e" look similar but they're not. The rest is boring and is not good.
Sep 27th, 2004 04:01 PM
Anonymous	Well its obvious you fucking failed. Go back and redo your paper. Here's an example of an A+ paper, and don't you dare rip it off, fucktard. Its so obvious, I don't know why everyone liked these li'l Aryan bastards so much. They were a "Hitlerrific" toy long before swastika game boards were fashionable. The first example of this is their clothing. They're all dressed in white in similar fashion of the KKK, they even got the white hoodlike hats for Pete's sake! Now Papa Smurf wore red, but the KKK also uses different colored sheets to signify higher rank also. Speaking of color, the Smurfs were all one color, blue. Which supports the ideology of Aryan purity, and we know that having blue eyes was an Aryan ideal so thus the blue color. Now the blond hair Aryan ideal was represented by Smurfette, speaking of which why was she the only visible female smurf? Now there have been theories that the Smurfs were just harmless homosexuals, but the truth is far more sinister, and goes back to Nazi ideology again: A woman's place was to stay home, bare foot and pregnant to produce more soldiers for the empire. That's why you never saw any other female Smurfs, they were basically treated as property. Smurfette being the exception because she was obviously Papa Smurf's illegitamate daughter. (There were also hints of incest going on as well, similar to Hitler's relationship with his cousin) Now let's look at the Smurf's "enemy" Gargamel. who's obviously an Anti-Semetic characature of the "evil Jew" even down to the oversized nose. Even his cat Azrael has the same name as the Angel of Death in the Islamic tradition. (Himmler actually recruited Bosnian Muslims for his SS in Yugoslavia) And Azrael also sounds a little TOO close to Israel don't you think? Let's look at some other characters, now scapegoatism was very common in Nazi Germany and Brainy Smurf seemed to be the whipping boy in smurf society. This makes sense, intellectualism was frowned upon in Nazi Germany also, but Brainy was probably invaluable in creating new technology, so he was killed. That young human boy who was always helping the Smurfs was a perfect example of Hitler Youth. Devoted and utterly loyal to them. You might ask why that Pansy Smurf hadn't been purged, but remember Ernst Rohem was also homosexual, a high ranking Nazi and utterly ruthless. Goreing was also prone to cross dressing. So Pansy Smurf probably had some serious blackmail, and clout to insure his survival. The Smurf society just happend to be all blue you say? Nonsense! One only has to look to their relatives, the Snorks (Who are underwater Smurfs) and see that their society consisted of many colors. They even accepted foreigners who couldn't speak English (That green honking guy). If the Snorks were an equal, democratic and capitalist society, then the Smurfs represented the National Socialist Nightmare. Evidence shows that the Smurf society was similar to the Snorks at one time, but by the time we saw them, they'd already succeeded in their holocaust and wiped out any traces of their non-blue brethern. The scary thing about all this is that these Smurfs were so readily accepted by the public and were considered to be "cute and nice" toys, could a revived 4th Reich been far behind? Fortunately, REAL American toys like He-man and GI Joe put a stop to this Smurfzi nonsense and kicked their blue Aryan asses. (Sniff) God Bless America! Next topic: Communist Plots? Crystar, Care bears and Cabbage Patch kids (CCCP!) and an interview with Hanoi Shortcake. (She DID wear a lot of red y'know)
Sep 27th, 2004 03:57 PM
mburbank	I think it's a horrible SACK OF CRAP! Oh, wait, did you mean Read it and critique it? Because I can't see myself doing that. I'm just being honest with you.
Sep 27th, 2004 03:53 PM
The Damp Moose	Uh huh, and so are you going to be able to turn that in without giggling?
Sep 27th, 2004 03:48 PM
DeadKennedys	PENIS JOKES ARE AWESOME
Sep 27th, 2004 03:41 PM
Anonymous	Don't listen to deadkennedys man he's just jealous because he'll never have a penis to call his own
Sep 27th, 2004 03:38 PM
DeadKennedys	A good essay should not have questions in it, rhetorical or not. Remain objective. And the rest of it sucks.
Sep 27th, 2004 03:01 PM
Anonymous	I for one think this kid is fresh and hilarious!
Sep 27th, 2004 02:51 PM
ernasty10050	why did you write about ninjas
Sep 27th, 2004 02:11 PM
Anonymous	Your thesis for the paper is muddled. Your argument suffers from not having cited any primary sources, and the sources you did use were not properly cited. Also, you began your conclusion with "as has been shown", which is something that should never be done. Your overall argument is shaky at best. I would give you a D on this paper only because you met the minimum length requirement, even though you reached that point by filling your paper with bilge.
Sep 27th, 2004 01:55 PM
EisigerBiskuit	if it has nothing good to say about pirates, I'll' see you in summer school.
Sep 27th, 2004 01:08 PM
dieglamourous	Visit realultimatepower.com one too many times?
Sep 27th, 2004 01:08 PM
sadie	sorry. i threw out all my red pens.
Sep 27th, 2004 12:57 PM
Anonymous	Meh. It needed some Nazi Smurfs in it.
Sep 27th, 2004 12:56 PM
McClain	My reaction to your paper depends on your age. 5-8 yrs. = GENIUS! 7-9 yrs. = GREAT! 10-13 yrs. = NOT BAD! 14 + yrs. = RETARDED
Sep 27th, 2004 12:51 PM
FS	Come see me after class.
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