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Topic Review (Newest First)
Mar 4th, 2009 02:20 PM
0dd1 I always knew that old lady was a creep.
Apr 18th, 2008 02:08 PM
Hellzo I had a dream like the first one, only while fixing the toilet there is no bottom to it and she comes in a sits down on it... the rest I really don't want to say what happens.
Feb 3rd, 2008 08:11 AM
JakeOfAllTrades I had a dream once when I was working on a speculative fiction piece where Oscar Wilde was running for Mayor in the future (It's too complicated to explain how he survived the bad curtains debacle here). In the piece I was working on he was working on some legislation to allow Gay marriage. For some reason, to me, this didn't feel right to be meddling with Wilde's political beliefs beyond reality: in real life he would have hated marriage of any sort, let alone the idea of Gay Marriage. So I went to bed that night feeling uneasy. Something was floating around in my head as I tried to sleep. At 2am in the morning I finally get to sleep, but I don't realise I'm dreaming when I end up in this massive library full of old books. It's freaking huge, no matter where I go the bookcases never end. So I go into this part of the gigantic library, and see Oscar Wilde smiling at me in his chamber-coat thing that he wears when he's reclining on a Victorian couch. His cane is rested on the side of the couch. Then Wilde laughs, as he turns the pages of a massive green book. The only print I can see clearly is the name "Oscar Wilde" on the spine. I look at what he's looking at as he laughs, turning the pages which have the text printed not in the traditional paragraphs but in snaky, spidery lettering that winds across the pages like a crooked road or more accurately, those weird spirals you see in Tim Burton movies. I try to read the words but it looks French (and I can't read French), and when I track the words with my finger some of them run away on me. Wilde laughs again, and hands me the book, with a big smile. The look he gave me was somewhat comforting, in a way. He didn't look angry at all. But for the entire dream he doesn't say a single word, because his attitude says more than words ever would in dream-logic it seems. I take the green book from his hands, turn the page, and then I feel the reality I am experiencing melt away. You know that panel in The Sandman #1 where the little Black boy is climbing the castle in his dreams, and everything falls away? It was like that, only I floated down onto a soft landing. Then I woke up.

I read De Profundis the next day on Gutenberg Project and instead of making Wilde a traditional Gay Rights campaigner in office, I made him a campaigner against wrongful imprisonment who cites the example of his own experience of injustice to strengthen his cause with voters. In this alternate reality I had for the serial, it seemed to work better than having him as a stereotypical protester. Wilde hasn't bothered me since. Maybe he's happy with the changes.

Moral to the story is: Don't fuck with dead people's personalities for Sci-Fi stories that have them in alternate realities. From my experience, trust me on this one. They know where you live...
Jan 29th, 2008 12:13 AM
Entreri21 Great article....

On a side note, I've got seven wet dreams involving Jo Frost.....

Be right back....
Jan 27th, 2008 11:47 AM
RaxaR remember max, it's OK to drink bleach, and it's OK to drink ammonia, but you should probably stop drinking both at the same time
Jan 24th, 2008 06:10 PM
Protoclown Max, this was brilliant!

"'Install a shunt' that will 'drain my black liquids'" made me laugh out loud for a long time.
Jan 24th, 2008 05:41 AM
autodidact Spelled wrong for a reason
Jan 24th, 2008 05:38 AM
autodidact Karl Jung - Wandlungen und Symbole der Libido
Jan 23rd, 2008 08:38 PM
incognit000 We're all just waiting for her to pose for porn.
Jan 23rd, 2008 08:28 PM
Ashmodai It'd be awesome to get a review of Alice. I loved that movie. Damn rabbit was so creepy.
Jan 23rd, 2008 04:54 PM
mburbank OMG, I friggin LOVE Jan Svankmajer.

I would have said that even if I didn't know who he was on account of the name, but in point of fact I am wild about him. I'm totally going to have to rebiew one of his films for the films section now.

Oh, and thanks. That is some high praise.
Jan 23rd, 2008 04:50 PM
Ashmodai Reading this felt like looking at a Jan Svankmajer piece.
Jan 23rd, 2008 01:12 PM
Fat_Hippo Wow, those were even more fucked up than some of my dreams, and that's saying something! Bravo, sir, bravo!
Jan 23rd, 2008 09:44 AM
Count Mek The short film idea comment was genius, that would be awesome.
Great work Max.
Jan 23rd, 2008 04:36 AM
stevetothepast that was beautifully strange, thank you
Jan 23rd, 2008 02:54 AM
Oska_Go_Wilde My dreams have never involved the Supy Nanner.
Jan 22nd, 2008 10:36 PM
Irony Grenade If Freud were to examine you, he'd probably say that you had mother issues.
Jan 22nd, 2008 10:02 PM
Colonel Flagg I can see it now, in big, bright friendly letters: "Impressions of Jo Frost" by Max Burbank --- Starring David Hasselhoff as Max and Roseanne Barr as Jo.
Jan 22nd, 2008 09:59 PM
Jaimas That.... It was so beautiful...
Jan 22nd, 2008 08:16 PM
Tetsu Deinonychus That wasn't just comedy. That was art!

I loved it.

BTW, Max, you should totally make a short film or something out of the last one.
Jan 22nd, 2008 08:03 PM
Hangie Thank god none of these were some kind lf weird fetish wet dream



Jan 22nd, 2008 04:49 PM
executioneer i read it again, and still liked it
Jan 22nd, 2008 04:44 PM
Exeter Outstanding. It just kept getting more surreal and strange, and I loved it.
Jan 22nd, 2008 04:17 PM
Neen That was your ass on the jumbotron!
Jan 22nd, 2008 04:01 PM
Undead Overlord The hordes of undead applaud you! This is one of my favorite pieces that you've ever done.
My horridly bad day at work has now been remedied by your masterpiece.
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