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Topic Review (Newest First)
Jul 31st, 2008 01:31 AM
resident-adam Man this article is spot on.
Jul 30th, 2008 02:30 PM
kenny i honestly laughed out loud for 5 minutes when you sprung a gun out of nowhere on your what to bring list, i don't know why that's so funny to me. But i must say Mr. Burbank is one of the funniest men alive.
Jul 29th, 2008 01:26 AM
neoboman "Lots of complicated folding chairs none of which unfold the same way as any of the others."

This is the best.
Jul 24th, 2008 12:57 AM
Duct Tape Ninja It's amazing how a beach can attract the fattest and/or ugliest people in the world that still think they look good in a bikini or a speedo.
Jul 23rd, 2008 01:03 PM
Zhukov And here I was thinking those moments where made by bowling dad out in beach cricket while he suffered some sort of irukandji syndrome.
Jul 23rd, 2008 12:35 PM
Protoclown This made me laugh so hard I almost got in trouble at work.
Jul 23rd, 2008 12:33 PM
mburbank I love the beach and go there with my family whenever I can. It's more the human condition I'm writing about, and for laughs.

Zhukov's father's experience fits right in. It isn't the beach or the jellyfish or the reprimand or the sandcastle that make those moments per se, but the state of being alive in one's skin on earth with other people that brings them about.
Jul 23rd, 2008 10:32 AM
Zhukov I'll never forget the look my father gave me as he ran up the wet sand screaming, legs covered in blue men-o-war jellyfish, as he was told by my mother to "be more careful" since he nearly stepped on our crappy sand castle. That article said exactly what his face said that day.
Jul 23rd, 2008 08:21 AM
Odworthy This perfectly sums up why I hate going to the beach.

Also, as soon as you go out above your head, you have no way of knowing how deep the water is. Maybe you're floating over some terrible gash in the earth's crust, miles and miles deep. Just imagine what might be coming up out of the blind bowels of the earth with its mouth open as you stupidly tread water?
And this perfectly sums up why I hate the ocean with a fiery passion, articulated much better than I ever could. Thank you, Max, thank you.
Jul 23rd, 2008 05:14 AM
OxBlood This is so very sad. It makes me want thank the mighty elder gods that I have neither Spouse nor Kids. THANK YOU ELDERS, you rock!
Jul 23rd, 2008 03:03 AM
greenimp heeeeeeeeeey, its not summer! and school just went back in! you krazy amerikans and your right way round seasons...
Jul 23rd, 2008 02:24 AM
Dungeonbrownies huh, you guys use those lil bracket things instead of greater than or less than signs. weird. guess I'll try again
Jul 23rd, 2008 02:22 AM
Dungeonbrownies the nicest beaches tend to be the private ones, mostly because theyre devoid of this kind of stuff. that and (if youre lesley nielson from that infamous episode of creepshow) you can use it to bury your enemies.
Jul 22nd, 2008 05:37 PM
Julio Bury the kids under a huge mountain of sand then drive back home.
Jul 22nd, 2008 04:17 PM
Ocean water is very murky, which means there could be absolutely any kind of creature swimming straight toward you and you'd never know until it was too late.
My thoughts exactly. That's what the gun's for, right? To shoot all the fish?
Jul 22nd, 2008 12:24 PM
Jules Samza I think I just died a little more inside.

Top-notch stuff.
Jul 22nd, 2008 07:26 AM
Tom Foolery The best beaches are the ones with all the "No-Trespassing" signs. Since I'm a Morlock, I don't do to the beach during the day though, only at night when all the drunks have decided to go skinny-dipping. Drunk People + Dark Turbulent Water = Quality Entertainment.
Jul 22nd, 2008 07:17 AM
Colonel Flagg You forgot sand flies - mmmm lunch! Are you O-positive? I like O-positive.

Other than this minor nitpick, pure poetry.
Jul 22nd, 2008 03:26 AM
El Sammo Send the family to the Mall with twenty dollars to play "See how many items"
Jul 22nd, 2008 03:25 AM
El Sammo I'm building a beach Just for you, Max.
Jul 22nd, 2008 03:07 AM
Let's Go To The Beach!

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