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Topic Review (Newest First) |
Aug 24th, 2008 03:38 AM | |
Evil Robot | THIS THREAD IS BULLSHIT AND YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RETARDS. STOP THIS SHIT NOW. |
Aug 23rd, 2008 09:02 PM | |
executioneer | bizarro thread backups |
Aug 23rd, 2008 08:30 PM | |
The Leader | Listen, this is a bigger threat than you think. You need to use scorched earth tactics. Level your entire neighborhood. No survivors. That's the only way that you'll know for certain that you got them. |
Aug 23rd, 2008 04:38 PM | |
JJ_Maniac |
Third day of my stakeout, and I've caught a cat, two dogs, a raccoon, a skunk, and the neighbor's son. No elves though. |
Aug 23rd, 2008 03:30 PM | |
Cherry Nirvana | I'd be careful if I were you. I had a friend who had the same problem with garage elves. He'd set out traps and not only did he not capture them, but they used them against him. He's been missing for three months now... |
Aug 23rd, 2008 08:39 AM | |
JJ_Maniac | It's been another day, and nothing. The snare trap disappeared overnight. I'm scared. |
Aug 23rd, 2008 12:38 AM | |
Fathom Zero | |
Aug 23rd, 2008 12:30 AM | |
Evil Robot | You should build a bomb. |
Aug 22nd, 2008 10:02 PM | |
JJ_Maniac | Put it in the cage with the gnome and the elf? |
Aug 22nd, 2008 10:00 PM | |
DevilWearsPrada | What should you do if you catch a kitty |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:59 PM | |
wobzire | Catch a Gnome as well and answer the age old question of who would win in a fight. |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:58 PM | |
JJ_Maniac |
UPDATE: I set a snare trap around my tools. What should I do if I catch an elf? |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:58 PM | |
wobzire | I wouldn't call that settleing |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:57 PM | |
Jeanette X | The drugstore doesn't sell anything as fancy as custard. I have to settle for Reese's Pieces and Skittles. |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:55 PM | |
wobzire | I doubt the abstract concepts of futility and hopelessness are moving your gardening tools around at night. However, I AM an idiot. |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:53 PM | |
JJ_Maniac | Have you tried mousetraps baited with custard? |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:52 PM | |
Jeanette X | I have the same problem at work in the drug store. Little elves come and mess up all the plastic bags that I stacked neatly, steal my pens, and hide the garbage bags from me. I set out traps, but I can't seem to get the little bastards. |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:52 PM | |
JJ_Maniac | All I know is my gardening equipment is moving in mysterious ways. |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:51 PM | |
JJ_Maniac |
Well, the elves are a metaphor for the futility and hopelessness of life. Either that or I'm slightly more psychotic than my psychiatrist thinks AKA: I dunno. |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:44 PM | |
liquidstatik | what's with you and elves? |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:43 PM | |
wobzire | That is a good poem. |
Aug 22nd, 2008 09:33 PM | |
JJ_Maniac |
The Mystical Elves in my Garage There are elves in my garage. Of this I am certain. The little bastards seem to be hiding my rake, hammer, and hoe over and over again. I put them there in the morning, and by nightfall they're moved to the other side of the garage. I've even staked it out for an hour, but when I turned by back to get a sandwich, the little fuckers jumped around. Please, how should I exorcize the demons from my house? |