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Topic Review (Newest First)
Dec 1st, 2013 02:50 PM
WhiteRoseBrian I remember seeing that game-over screen. It nearly gave me nightmares.
Nov 27th, 2010 06:41 PM
monster_movie_night I thought the unlockable character was The Abominable Snow Monster from Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer.Instead it was Jesus and a Raptor.That just wrong.
Feb 17th, 2010 07:53 PM
Deadly Towers Sux This game rocks! Kudos to the creator. I lol'd soooo hard at Jesus and Raptor Jesus!
Jan 3rd, 2010 12:13 PM
Angryhydralisk Haven't posted here in a LOOOOOOOONG TIME. Very cool! How's everyone been?
Jan 1st, 2010 05:46 PM
Dusk Well, now I'm offended...

I did like punching Scut Farkus in the face a few times, though.
Dec 31st, 2009 02:51 PM
Terrible-D Jesus kicked my ass!
Dec 28th, 2009 02:16 PM
Cheez I know I haven't played this in years but I don't think the actual kung fu game had hit detection THIS bad for your own character.
Dec 28th, 2009 02:14 AM
A Bad Enough Dude Shit yeah, Raptor Jesus!

I've played a lot of flash games over the years, but I have to say that this is my absolute favorite. The Mockery gang has created a masterpiece. From the unique death screens to the multiple endings, this game delivers everything I could have wished for from a Kung Fu remake. I can't even begin to describe the fun I had in this remake of one of my favorite games. I'm glad it got featured game on Newgrounds, but it deserves a lot more than that. It's quite obvious that a lot of love went into this and top marks all around to all involved. Unfortunately I came across this game after Saturnalia (Xmas) and I'm sure the Mockery gang has already received their gifts, but as I consider this game a present for all of us fans, I'm going to scour the internets for the perfect gift. I will then mail this gift to -Rog- as a gift to share with his cohorts. It might be a bit before I find the perfect item, but rest assured it will arrive. Thank you for giving me the best present I have ever received.

Protips from an NES nerd for noobersons:

-Your crouch-kick is your best friend... know it, love it, over-use it.
-When enemies are following you, continue to walk as far as you can before you crouch-kick them... this will get you closer to the boss.
-Deal with Dads (sword throwing white ninjas) as quickly as you can without being reckless, as they have the potential to place you in awkward situations, even doubling up on you sometimes.
-On the third level, learn the pattern of falling baddies (albeit different from the NES version) and don't disparage. Kick falling stuff, jump over snakes, crouch-kick enemies.
-Bosstip 1: Crouch-kick the shit out of this d-bag.
-Bosstip 2: Duck under flying candy canes and crouch-kick him repeatedly.
-Bosstip 3: He has two attacks. When his fist comes above his head, move back a bit. Otherwise, crouch-punch him tons and tons, but be cautious.
-Bosstip 4: Be cautious here; wait for his attacks then counterattack. Wait for him to shoot a laser (sometimes up, sometimes down... be cautious,) avoid it and kick him in his dumb nose. This will be a longer boss fight than the rest so far. Just wait for him to attack first, then get a few kicks in... don't be greedy.
Bosstip 5: This level can be difficult for some, but use what you've learned thus far. When you get to the boss, you'll have to crouch-kick until your finger hurts. Unfortunately, the flash version of the game pushed the bosses back when you hit them, making them a bit easier. Just crouch-kick constantly, moving forward slightly every time he get away from you. This tactic will let you kill him without taking any damage.
-Keep playing after you beat it, there are more endings and much more fun to be had.

Thanks again for a stellar game, Mockery crew.
Dec 24th, 2009 02:05 AM
Purple Man I've been wanting to kick Christmas elves in the face for weeks; thanks so much for that.
Dec 24th, 2009 12:44 AM
Copper Okay, totally sucking at the game, but I'm having a good time with it. First time I got to Turbo Man I realized who it was right away and laughed. Then died. And in true rom-hack spirit, if Santa gets grabbed by a nutcracker when he's crouching...yeah...Makes it all the more funny though.

Now to keep practicing.
Dec 23rd, 2009 11:49 PM
HowardC
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mockery View Post
Glad ya like it Howard! If you're getting lag, your computer is prolly a bit old, so I'd suggest getting the downloadable version of the game instead so you don't have to play it in your browser. You can download it here.


It's Turbo Time!

Santa's supposed to bring me a new pc, so I'm just gonna try it again at Christmas. I particularly liked the bully from The Christmas Story. Too bad you can throw him to the ground and wail on his face.
Dec 23rd, 2009 07:12 PM
Nick I love the game, rog. Too bad I'm such a noob and can't beat the last level.
Dec 23rd, 2009 04:27 PM
dextire Great game! Seeing Rudolph's bloody nose pop was most disturbing.
Dec 23rd, 2009 12:15 PM
darkvare freaking epic ending man just awesomed
Dec 23rd, 2009 12:08 PM
stevetothepast Might I just say that this as well as the halloween game have been a pleasure to play. But when I saw the game over screen I cried a little for saint nick.

SEASONS GREETINGS
Dec 23rd, 2009 11:16 AM
Mockery
Quote:
Originally Posted by HowardC View Post
That's awesome! I think my pc is too slow to play it though as I'm getting some serious lag. Those are some awesome bosses btw.
Glad ya like it Howard! If you're getting lag, your computer is prolly a bit old, so I'd suggest getting the downloadable version of the game instead so you don't have to play it in your browser. You can download it here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DougClayton4231 View Post
Being able to punch Turbo Man in the crotch is what Christmas is all about. Fantastic game lol.
It's Turbo Time!
Dec 23rd, 2009 10:51 AM
DougClayton4231 Being able to punch Turbo Man in the crotch is what Christmas is all about. Fantastic game lol.
Dec 23rd, 2009 08:57 AM
HowardC That's awesome! I think my pc is too slow to play it though as I'm getting some serious lag. Those are some awesome bosses btw.
Dec 23rd, 2009 08:46 AM
MockBot
Santa Fu! A Christmas Parody Game Of "Kung Fu" On The NES!

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