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Topic Review (Newest First)
Feb 18th, 2003 03:08 PM
AlienGremlin
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninjavenom
I remember putting up a mononoke review, rongi. Maybe you skipped over it, or maybe it was too short and got deleted. Write longer ones and i'll put 'em up. I haven't seen any from you lately gremlin, you been sick or somethin'?
Nope I just havn't gotten out to Hollywood video in a little while. I might be typing up ones for Black Mask 2, and the first four epsiodes of E.V.A. soon.
Feb 18th, 2003 02:05 PM
Ninjavenom I remember putting up a mononoke review, rongi. Maybe you skipped over it, or maybe it was too short and got deleted. Write longer ones and i'll put 'em up. I haven't seen any from you lately gremlin, you been sick or somethin'?
Feb 18th, 2003 05:30 AM
AlienGremlin I'm just glad my reviews havn't been reviewed. Although I probably am a bit liberal with the point system.
Feb 16th, 2003 07:12 PM
Rongi How come my Princess Mononoke and My Big Fat Greek Wedding reviews never got up :/?
Feb 16th, 2003 07:10 PM
Ninjavenom Oh Lord. I wish i didn't have to post that review. At least the guy is open minded. :/
Feb 16th, 2003 06:51 PM
CrapOnAStick
Quote:
Movie: "Big Fat Liar"
Year: 2002
Rated: PG
Genre: Comedy
Director: Shawn Levy
Writer: Dan Schneider
Reviewer: CaptHayfever
Plot: The story of a Shepherd boy who lies so much that no one believes him when the Wolf comes along, forcing the boy and his best friend to make Wolf's life a living nightmare.

Review: Excellent, highly underrated movie that's great for people of all ages.

(Notice I didn't say it's great for EVERYONE. No movie is great for everyone.)

Jason Shepherd (Frankie Muniz, aka Malcolm) is a compulsive liar. He sets up a complicated lie about his dad being in the hospital to get out of an English assignment. Dad finds out, lie falls apart, Jason has 3 hours to write the story.

He finishes just in time and starts rushing to school, but--BOOM!--he hits a limo. Inside the limo is producer Marty Wolf (Paul Giamatti), who takes Jason to school.

BUT-- the story falls out of the backpack in the car!

Wolf picks it up, reads a little, and drives off, while Jason gets stuck going to summer school.

(If this review seems a little choppy & fast-paced, it's because the movie is fast-paced & a little choppy too.)

That summer, Jase sees a preview for a movie based on his story, and he realizes what happened. The problem? His parents don't believe him. So Jason and his best friend Kaylee (Amanda Bynes) sneak away to Hollywood to make Wolf admit his plagerism.

And so begins one of the best movies out of a year that had so many good ones to choose from. Big Fat Liar is fine family filmmaking that's actually appealing to the WHOLE family.

In fact, the only real downside to this flick is a semi-cheesy ending scene, which luckily is canceled out by a comic relief closing.

Frankie Muniz became famous with his intentionally over-the-top performance on Malcolm in the Middle. Here he plays a similar character, but with far more subtlety and understatement, wich makes sense, as the people Jason decieves are far more intelligent than the ones Malcolm manipulates.

Muniz does great with the role and deserves kudos. There, I just gave him the kudos, you don't have to bother. You've also seen Frankie in "My Dog Skip", and a couple Dis-flicks.

Amanda Bynes, however, deserves far more than just kudos, delivering the best performance in the movie as platonic best friend Kaylee. As a matter of fact, the best friend role was originally a boy, but the script was rewritten as soon as Amanda was considered for the movie, and there was much rejoicing. In BFL, Bynes is able to showcase several of her strong points, including variable voice, improvisation, facial expression, and sheer energy. Kaylee has most of the best lines in the film, many of which were ad-libbed by Amanda.

For more Amanda Bynes, watch "What I Like About You" Fridays on the WB, reruns of "The Amanda Show" Saturdays on Nickelodeon, and her next movie "What A Girl Wants" opening April 4. Also check out www.amandabynesnow.com because it's an excellent site.

Paul Giamatti delivers the 2nd best performance in the film as Marty Wolf. Giamatti's intentionally outrageous portrayal of Wolf was a brilliant decision, making the character absolutely loathsome, just as he should be.

Giamatti can also be seen as Bob Zmuda in "Man on the Moon", as well as many other parts in a variety of films.

Great supporting cast here, with Amanda Detmer (Drop Dead Gorgeous) as Monty, Donald Faison (Scrubs, Remember the Titans) as Frank, Lee Majors (The $6 Million Man) as Vince, and Jaleel White (Urkel of Family Matters) as himself.

Shawn Levy's feature-film debut is an excellent example of the greatness a first-timer is capable of. And anyone who doesn't know the hilarity Dan Scheider is capable of creating needs to, well, to watch more Dan Schneider stuff.

The BFL DVD has some awesome extras on it, too. Like:

-Amanda Bynes guiding you through the menus

-Deleted scenes

-Bloopers

-Excellent commentary by Shawn Levy & DP Johnathan Brown

-Mediocre commentary by Frankie Muniz

-Theatrical trailer

-Showtime "Spotlight on Location" special

-Honesty quiz

-and some other stuff!

Go buy this movie, because renting only lasts a week.

Overall Rating: 9
Honestly, who the hell rents a movie for kids and tell people who don't give a shit? Not me [/i]
Feb 14th, 2003 07:23 PM
AChimp It would be great if that review was posted.
Feb 14th, 2003 07:23 PM
Zomboid Wow...and I thought a lot of the classic game reviews were bad.
Feb 14th, 2003 03:15 PM
FS OK, so I was wrong.
Feb 14th, 2003 02:45 PM
Ninjavenom Movie: "i hump a monkey"
Year: now
Rated: Unrated
Genre: Action / Adventure
Director:
Writer:
Reviewer: jackass
Plot: i hump a monkey

Review: i hump a monkey

Overall Rating: 1


:/
Feb 14th, 2003 12:03 PM
Blackjack Yeah, it's not like the music reviews are any better. There's that guy that does the Insane Clown Posse albums and DVDs who runs through the whole set list basically saying if a song is good or bad.

Me? I write a fucking battle chant when I reviewed Manowar "Kings of Metal"!!!
Feb 14th, 2003 08:53 AM
FS It wasn't his review.

Here's some of my favorite reviews:
*Wizard hate fantasy
*Put Shakira in Two Towers
*Now you don't have to watch Fight Club anymore
*Or Brotherhood of the Wolf
*Like, Austin Powers is funny ok bye

And add to that any five-line review where the writer says he can't tell anything about the movie without ruining it for you.

Ninjavenom, be sure to paste us the contents of "i hump a monkey". It's in "waiting to be approved" right now and I'm sure it's golden.
Feb 13th, 2003 11:21 PM
James ???
Feb 13th, 2003 11:20 PM
Zbu Manowar Jamesman,

Did you get your credit card charged every month or so when you bought it? I've heard rumors to that fact.
Feb 13th, 2003 10:07 PM
Ninjavenom Heh. I like this one:

Movie: "Naked Killer"
Year: who knows; who cares?
Rated: R
Genre: Action / Adventure
Director:
Writer:
Reviewer: BobbyDan
Plot: This movie is about a ring of east asian lesbian serial killers... It's not nearly as sexy as I'm sure you're thinking.

Review: I just finished a photo essay on this movie, which you can (and should) read at



This movie is only worth buying 'cause of the subtitles. Once again, you can find all that out by reaing the essay (link above)

This one's a real winner, eh?.
Feb 13th, 2003 06:31 PM
James I think we should just have assigned reviewers, and/or get rid of the 10 score from Overall Rating.
Feb 13th, 2003 06:17 PM
James Movie: "Best of Backyard Wrestling - Volume 1"
Year: 2000
Rated: Unrated
Genre: Miscellaneous
Director: dunno...whoever made it, I guess
Writer: uh....there is no writer
Reviewer: Angryhydralisk
Plot: what do you think? It's about a bunch of dudes beating the shit out of each other.

Review: There are two versions of the first tape: The original tape and the new version of the tape. The new version has chicks stripping and more footage. I have the original, so i am missing out.

ok, onwards to the movie. It has 70 minutes of hardcore violence. This tape also has backyard bloopers and even a couple of teens beating each other up from a parking lot to their own school and ending with them fighting on a moving car. (It's called the epic battle if you are curious) This tape has a whole bunch of crazy stuff and is usually watched again and again...(Or until you get the other volumes)

And you'll also notice one interesting thing. This tape HARDLY ever got complaints and offensive remarks. Look at the Girls Gone Wild Videos, they get sued all the time and they suck horse's ass! If you get it, it's worth it.

Overall Rating: 10
Feb 13th, 2003 06:17 PM
Ninjavenom Sorry chimpy, they pass the bar. All it needs is two paragraphs.
Feb 13th, 2003 06:08 PM
AChimp MOVIE REVIEW REVIEWER.

Stop letting shitty reviews get posted.
Feb 13th, 2003 04:57 PM
FS The reviews where the plot is like three lines and then people describe the movie in detail from front to end in the "review" section make me laugh.

Not to mention the negative LotR review by a guy calling himself "Wizard".
Feb 13th, 2003 03:50 PM
Spectre X not even to Alien: Ressurection? I mean, that movie had the BEST scene in movie history EVER (the ladder scene where Johnner hangs upside down, shooting at one of the Aliens and screaming: "Die you son of a bitch"!)
Feb 13th, 2003 02:48 PM
Ninjavenom I hear that.
Feb 13th, 2003 02:40 PM
Blackjack
Movie Reviewers:
Stop writing illiterate single paragraph reviews for extremely bad films and giving them 10/10 for no reason whatsoever.

NO Film is perfect. Not even Spinal Tap.




That is all.

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