| Bulletproof_Kennedy |
A story(oh god). [Read with caution.] ©
So, there I was, just the chipmunks, and me their stares pierced my eyes and exploded my head, metaphorically. They stared, I stared back, it was what the hippies call an orgy stare down, but I had no intentions to give into their sexual pleasures. I knew it was either me, or them, and if it was them, they would have their way with me, something that wouldn’t be visually acceptable, to my standards. The chipmunks were fifty feet away and had had no sleep in the past 24 hours, and neither have I, but I was strong, I wouldn’t give in, even though they were just staring at me, it was making me uneasy, and my prostate weak.
Then I woke up sweaty, it must have just been a twisted dream created by my twisted imagination. I crawled out of bed and had a shower, where I then located chipmunk shit smeared in the shower, I screamed like a girl scout on a Sunday rape fest. I cleaned it up, after I had my shower. I dried myself off and put on some clothes I found on the floor, where I then located more chipmunk terd. I brushed it off after I had put the clothes on then I went out for a morning stroll to the liquor store to buy some refreshments. So then, I bought my refreshments, drank a smidge, and then went to Master Shroom to buy some religious hallucination plants. I ate 2 grams then started to walk home. On the way I kept seeing large chipmunks staring at me, like in my gay ass hippie chipmunk army orgy dream. One of the chipmunks came up to me, and I screamed like a little girl scout again. He (or she, I wasn’t aware of any extra appendages at the time) said its name was Chi-Chi, and then he rubbed his balls, “So.” I thought to myself, “It’s a man chipmunk.” Then I laughed and started looking at my hand for many minutes at a time, only hearing small amounts of what Chi-Chi was saying to me. I replied, “Yea, right on.” I started walking to my house, almost falling down at certain intervals between blocks, unaware that Chi-Chi was behind, I was too busy also being amazed at how the construction workers constructed purple squiggly streets. I finally made it home, went into my room and tried using the computer, but it wasn’t plugged in, and I wasn’t really aware of that so I started watching TV. There was a knock at the door and I yelled, “Go away Mr. Poontang, I don't know where your mother is!!" The door busted open and fell onto the floor, and Chi-Chi the giant chipmunk was standing there, I was like, "Whoa. My door." Chi-Chi looked moved only his head and looked right at me, saying, "I'll crush your bones to make my nutty-butty bread!!!!" He lunged at me and I thrusted lunged lunged thrusted lunged ate a samwich parried striked backfliped over the couch then kicked him in the nuts an ran. He three-sixtied lunged forward grabbed me by the top of my head then said to me. "This is what I'll do to you on the outside." He banged his head off the conrete floor. "Then," he said, "this is what I'll do to you on the inside." Then he took a shit on my carpet. I was like, "Dude, that's my carpet." He threw me through the wall then instead of using the door he jumped through my window. "You daft bastard!!" I yelled as I ran straight at him. He flipped me over and I landed in my rose bush and exploded.
Somewhere outside of town, where a bunch of yokels live in deliverance. "Ey Cousin Merle, looky there, dems dere a big cloud o'dust eh heheh." "Yehehehehehe heyuk yuk yuk!!"
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