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Dec 20th, 2005 07:11 PM
LadyMage honestly, I think it depends on the people involved, I happen to be friends with my ex, but we broke it off mutually, he was still in highschool (his last year) and I was going to college, we decided that things would be too different for too long and broke it off, but we are still friends, but there are those that well.... really shouldn't try hanging out after a break up

I suggest looking at your situation very carefully and think about these things:

1. does he/she understand that you are no longer dating, you are just friends?
2. does he/she stalk/attack/hurt/abuse you in any way shape or form?
3. does he/she get along with you still
4. how did he/she react to the break up or how did they break up with you?
5. how did you react to the break up or how did you break up with them?
6. how will they react to you seeing other people?
7. how will you react to them seeing other people?
8. did you get along well during the dating period?
9. distance
10. how will your so react to you being friends with him/her (not a huge deal but consider it anyway)
11. how will theirs react to you being friends with him/her
12. did you accept the break up
13. are they a jerk

I forgot if there are any more but these should help I think

oh and maggie, yours is not friend material, he seems like he forgets that you don't want to date him anymore, I would just ditch him till he gets is act together at least, if he ever does.
Dec 20th, 2005 05:46 PM
nothing4buddha
Quote:
Originally Posted by Comrade Rocket
NO, YOU CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX'S

RIGHT TERESA
RIGHT
Dec 20th, 2005 03:44 PM
AChimp Stop talking to him. Period.

It may be hard at first, but it is for the best in the long run. He'll get over it faster. Trust me, because I was that guy once.
Dec 20th, 2005 03:14 PM
maggiekarp
Quote:
Originally Posted by ziggytrix
they are also bad when the break-up is one-sided, with one person constantly pining for the other and trying to win them back... that actually sounds more like what mags is talking about. that's not a healthy foundation for a friendship.
I agree

I don't like him pining over me. He says "There's no pining" then a few minutes later talks about how we might have worked out if I Had stayed with him just a little bit longer, as if he'd needed just one more week to get all his shit together when he had more than a year. He pisses me off too much that I end up telling him "you are a bitch, ser" or "God you suck" or "Your new nickname is Lucius Pussywillow" and I don't think he should be in such a relationship.

It sucks, basically, and is hard to think about.
Dec 20th, 2005 12:08 PM
Slinky Ferret The weird thing about the whole relationships and love game is that you can find love in the strangest places with the strangest people. In years to come you'll think, what the hell did I see in that person or why did they cheat on me or why did it end? I hate it when people use the old "I don't love you anymore" line when there's more to it than that.

Still I haven't been in love for years so what do I know. I'm just bitter and cynical. I can't even remember what I wasted all that time, money, physical and emotional expense for because it obviously wasn't worth it. Or maybe I just end up with bastard after bastard.
Dec 20th, 2005 10:31 AM
ziggytrix they are also bad when the break-up is one-sided, with one person constantly pining for the other and trying to win them back... that actually sounds more like what mags is talking about. that's not a healthy foundation for a friendship.
Dec 20th, 2005 10:14 AM
sadie unless, of course, the break-up is related to your finding that that person is a fake-assed, honor-devoid fucking prick--someone, in other words, you don't want to see ever, much less be friends with.
Dec 20th, 2005 05:23 AM
Slinky Ferret I think you can be friends with your ex's. I'm friends with several of mine. It can take a little while if feelings are intense and while you may not be as close as you were, there's a nice feeling about being able to talk to them and know that you only regard them as friends.
Dec 20th, 2005 04:07 AM
Comrade Rocket NO, YOU CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX'S

RIGHT TERESA
Dec 20th, 2005 12:22 AM
maggiekarp I'm afraid this guy might suck to much to be friends with him

First of all, he's still doin the awkward conversation stuff, but I can't tell if that's just his terrible sense of humor.

Furthermore, I showed him this, and he thinks the dad is the prick for playing such a mean trick

dudeguyadsfe: he deserves to not get the system yet.
dudeguyadsfe: but no act deserves to be tricked on christmas!
Dec 5th, 2005 05:27 AM
Skulhedface Friends with ex's... kind of a dangerous game.

I've found that most of my ex's usually become ex's but remain good friends with me because they don't want to date me but they don't mind the sex part.

So um, if you're still or ever had sex with this ex, then go for it?
Dec 4th, 2005 02:22 PM
maggiekarp He promised to stop making me uncomfortable, so I guess things can work out if he keeps his promise.


(By the way, KSAN is a fake name for a real person, so people don't go internet searching for her or something. I dunno. None of those girls were actual girlfriends, just people he used to obsess over )
Dec 4th, 2005 08:27 AM
glowbelly i'm still friends with some of my exes.

i don't think they are trying to get in my pants.

now granted, i don't talk to them everyday, but i do keep them up to date as far as the major stuff that happens in my life and vice versa.

so there
Dec 3rd, 2005 05:35 PM
KevinTheOmnivore KAZAM!
Dec 3rd, 2005 05:32 PM
ziggytrix KSAN sounds like the name of a radio station, not an exgirlfriend.


But to answer your question. It's rare, especially if one or both people have the emotional development of a teenager.
Dec 3rd, 2005 05:16 PM
KevinTheOmnivore You're not friends with her if you're hooking up. That's a bad game to play.
Dec 3rd, 2005 03:52 PM
The One and Only... I'm still friends with my ex.

Granted, I'm kinda getting back with her on the side until something happens with the new friend chick or someone else comes along, but, ya know...

I'm really not an asshole. She has to know what I'm thinking. :/
Dec 3rd, 2005 03:45 PM
KevinTheOmnivore I know. What a pickle.
Dec 3rd, 2005 03:30 PM
xbxDaniel Don't worry, men are a waste of time as well.
Dec 3rd, 2005 02:32 PM
KevinTheOmnivore I'm in the very late stages of a friendship-turned relationship-turned intense relationship-turned to shit sort of situation.

First of all, I question whether men and women can truly be friends. Chris Rock may be right.

My ex and I still talk pretty frequently on the phone, but there's now a lot of bitterness and bad blood there, which is almost obvious when we talk now. We've both tried to cut each other lose totally, but like junkies, always come back.

I would say go cold turkey. It'll be best for you, and even though he doesn't know it now, it'll be the best thing for him as well. It'll toughen him up and make him realize that women are a waste of time.

Sorry.
Dec 3rd, 2005 12:11 PM
xbxDaniel Probably not, my ex started making out with all of my friends. Then again, she tried to kill me too. Maybe my case is not the best example.
Dec 3rd, 2005 12:10 PM
MetalMilitia No, never. People who say that are talking bollocks.
Dec 3rd, 2005 12:05 PM
maggiekarp
Break Up

"WUT I CAN'T STILL LOVE YOU"

"WUT DO YOU MEAN ME SAYING I LOVE YOU CREEPS YOU OUT NOW"

"DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT THE GOOD OL' DAYS"

"I'M NOT GONNA MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT IT BUT I'LL STILL TRY TO GET YOU BACK OK"

"DID I MENTION I HAD A CRUSH ON EVERY GIRL WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER AND NOW ONE IS GETTING MARRIED AND THE GUY HAD THE NERVE TO TRY TO GET HER TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM WHILE WE WERE ON THE PHONE I MEAN HOW RUDE."

"DON'T LEAVE ME YOU WILL BE JUST LIKE EVYN AND KSAN AND THAT ONE GIRL WHO WAS HOT BUT THEN YELLED AT ME"


It's like the more we talk the more I'm reminded why I broke up with him, and he doesn't get the hint that the direction he takes the conversation in is awkward as hell

Can people really be friends after a break-up?

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