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Topic Review (Newest First)
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| Mar 29th, 2006 02:03 AM | ||||
| Dr. Boogie |
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And yes, they do things differently in Saudi Arabia. And I would like to apologize for them. Not very much advertising in the Saudi newsletter. I think they're really screwing themselves over by not including some ads for Goldenpalace or something. I mean, the oil revenue can't last forever, right? |
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| Mar 29th, 2006 01:56 AM | ||||
| Ant10708 | Things are done differently in Saudi Arabia. | |||
| Mar 29th, 2006 01:38 AM | ||||
| Abcdxxxx |
holy shit. you weren't even joking!!! bwahahahaha. anyone else have some pranks they've attributed to me? late night obscene phone calls? homeless men that spit on you at the bus stop? anything? anyone? you really don't stick out in my mind aside from the stupid avatar, and don't most newsletters require you to authorize the subscription first anyway? |
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| Mar 29th, 2006 12:45 AM | ||||
| Dr. Boogie |
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As for finding out my email, we've been using this format of electronic message board for over two years now. Surely by now you've noticed that at the bottom of many of the posts, including my own, is a button that reads "email". |
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| Mar 28th, 2006 10:07 AM | ||||
| mburbank |
You have an odd definition of 'better'. Abcdextrous is deffinitely a sanctimonious weiner, but there's nothing in his writing style that separates him from the crowd. And while he thinks very highly of himself, he comes nowhere near the soaring heights of self love OAO engages in. The only new thing I see happening here is his sudden switching on and off between "I know everything so my opinion is the only possible outcome of a legitimate thought process" to poorly executed 'your mama' jokes. Unitard. Very, very, very sad work. Pharoah already had the 'I'm bad at reparte but I don't know it' market all sewn up. |
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| Mar 28th, 2006 09:50 AM | ||||
| KevinTheOmnivore | So apparently the board gets a lot better when I'm gone for a few days..... | |||
| Mar 28th, 2006 04:05 AM | ||||
| Abcdxxxx | n/m | |||
| Mar 28th, 2006 04:01 AM | ||||
| Abcdxxxx |
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| Mar 28th, 2006 03:43 AM | ||||
| Abcdxxxx |
I'm the sweetest pinata you stupid fucks will ever have. You've all made me very, very proud, thank you. I've obviously made an impression. But Boogie.... how do I go about getting you email addy for reals? That stunt hadn't even occured to me, and it sounds like a winner. |
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| Mar 28th, 2006 01:10 AM | ||||
| Dr. Boogie |
I'd just like to say that I thought abcd was a self-absorbed, condescending jackass long before everyone else. Except maybe for Sspad. As I recall, abcd was complaining about the splinters he got from lugging that cross around, and Sspad asked him to kindly shut his piehole. Anyway, I once made a post suggesting that maybe, just maybe, not all Muslims were devious bomb delivery systems, and abcd called me an apologist for Saudi Arabia, and then proceeded to sign my email address up to receive the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia newsletter. Well let me tell you something, abcd: I only wanted the text version of that newsletter. Not the HTML version! |
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| Mar 28th, 2006 12:40 AM | ||||
| Abcdxxxx |
Hysteria ! Mayhem !! (boredom) |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 11:31 PM | ||||
| Preechr | That's four. | |||
| Mar 27th, 2006 11:30 PM | ||||
| Preechr |
That's actually real: http://www.newarkabbey.org/docs/easter.htm I didn't write that. It's funny. |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 11:28 PM | ||||
| Preechr |
The women who went to the tomb early this morning returned with an astonishing report. So astonishing that everyone who heard it thought their report was nonsense. It is important for us tonight to share in both of those emotions. Otherwise, we risk taking Jesus' resurrection for granted. Of course, Jesus rose from the dead. He said he would rise (as the men in dazzling garments reminded the women). He said he would rise, and he did. We have heard this from our youth, we have seen the paintings. We have read the Gospels and seen the movies. Like the sunrise and the early growth of springtime, we remember the resurrection and we are comfortable with it. But No, we need to be astonished; we need to experience the same feelings as those who thought the news was nonsense, outrageous, impossible. One of the fun things about my mother was that you could retell her an old joke and she would laugh heartily. She never remembered jokes and so she delighted in hearing them all over again. She never took them for granted, never got used to them, never became bored with them. So it must be with us. Everytime we hear the news of the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth we need to be astonished, amazed, delighted. It's like waking up and suddenly remembering it's our birthday, or that today is the first day of summer vacation - even though we already knew it when we fell asleep. In fact, that is a good way for us believers to hear the news of the resurrection. When we walked into church earlier tonight we were asleep, unconscious, distracted. But now we have heard the Allelujah, the Exultet, the Gloria, and the Good News of the Resurrection. Now we are finally awake; we are finally alive because of the Good News of Jesus' resurrection. The Good News is never old news. God didn't create us once; God is creating us always. God didn't save us once; God is always saving us. Peter hustled himself out to the tomb that same morning and saw that it was empty. I wonder if Peter did that very same thing everyday from then on. That's what we should do. Every morning when we get up, we should run ourselves out to the tomb and peek inside. Wow. The tomb is empty. Allelujia. Jesus is raised from the dead. If we did receive the Good News again with every new day, a whole lot of other things would also change for us. That is of course the reason for doing it: everything has indeed changed for us. Everything is new for us. Christ is risen: we are saved. Death no longer has the last word over us. Weakness and failure and sin no longer determine our future and we dare not let them determine our present. This is the night, the Exultet sings, when the people of Israel escaped from slavery and passed throught the flood. This is the night when the pillar of fire guilded our ancestors into the Promised land. This is the night we were born, we were baptized, we were forgiven. This is the night when we will be received into heaven. St. Paul told us tonight that as we shared in Jesus' crucifiction at our baptism so are we united in Jesus' resurrection. No more is it Jesus' resurrection that is nonsense, now it is nonsense to keep this Good News to ourselves. It is nonsense to remain fearful or depressed. Yes, things will still fall apart for us. Friends and family members will die. We will still miss opportunities to do good and sometimes we will choose to do things that are wrong. Evil and sadness in will seem to pile up our life as in a tomb. But the women will still come back from that tomb and report that they find it to be empty. \par \par Yes, it is nonsense. God's love for us does not make sense; it is a miracle, a gift, and always a surprise. Let it be a surprise again tomorrow and next week and next month. Jesus is risen from the dead. Alleluja! |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 11:26 PM | ||||
| Preechr |
New gospel proves Jesus did the world's first nob gag Jesus Christ was a practical joker who wore fake novelty breasts on the cross according to a newly discovered gospel. The Gospel, written by a previously unknown disciple of Jesus called Alan, also proves the Jesus did the first ever nob gag. The amazing passage has Jesus telling a disciple “oohh look what’s that peeking out of the bottom of my robes”. The new understanding of Jesus is at odds with the traditional image of him as a serious, spiritual man with a mission to teach love and understanding. The Gospel of Alan also reveal that Jesus used a whoopee cushion at the last supper and would regularly use a joy buzzer when pretending to cure cripples. “Jesus would move his hands over the legs of a crippled man and say ‘Pick up your bed and walk my son, you are cured’,” Scolar Richard Ham told us. “He’d then run out of the room giggling. The man would attempt to stand up but slump to the ground in agony,” Ham says. Many of Jesus’ other practical jokes would climax with him emerging from a tent with a fake beard over his real beard, dressed like a donkey warden. "He would crease up with laughter at his latest joke. It was never malicious though, he always tried to be very inclusive with his humour," Ham says. The real reason Pilate ordered Jesus' crucifixion is also revealed – he’d put cellophane over his lavatory. The new gospel is set to cause shockwaves around the world. Experts say it is the most important discovery about Jesus since a tablet found in 1934 proved he actually survived the crucifixion and went on to go bald. "I think this new evidence about Jesus can only help to make him more appealing to today’s young people,” Ham claims. “ It adds a new fun side to Jesus that can only make him a better Messiah I reckon." |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 11:22 PM | ||||
| Preechr |
So, Moses steps out of the boat, and he's all "Come on in, Jesus, the water's great!" So Moses is there, walking on the water looking all happy and stuff, and Jesus decides to walk on out there with him. One step off the boat, however, and Jesus sinks to the bottom of the lake. "Must be those holes in your feet," says Moses. That makes two. |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 10:14 PM | ||||
| Geggy |
Hey! I'm curious abcdxxx do you remember the time you were the inspiration of my inventing a jewish doll with pull string attached so that every time I pull the string it would say "anti-semite!" over and over? Well I've come up with 2 more dolls to add to the collection ever since. One is a deaf guy with a string attached that says "what?" over and over. Another is a black guy with a string attached that says "it's cuz I'm black!" over and over. What do you think, eh? Alright. |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 08:20 PM | ||||
| Abcdxxxx | did you say you were a unitarian, or just a uni-tard? | |||
| Mar 27th, 2006 08:10 PM | ||||
| mburbank |
Whichever one of you guessed slow day was right. No Vinth, no KittyKat. Frowny emoticon. Seriously though, Abc hates me. I have to know why. I can't eat, I can't sleep. It's possible I wet myself. I think I might be in love. Actually he wasn't hardly on my radar until he started bein' all mean to me an' stuff. Even One and Only wasn't around. What's a guy supposed to do? And that Jesus joke was classic. How dare he? What's funnier than crucifiction? OH! WAIT! TWO CRUCIFICTIONS! Did I get it right? Can I go home now? |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 06:14 PM | ||||
| Abcdxxxx |
!!!!! Genius. I hope you two post more often. |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 05:24 PM | ||||
| Girl Drink Drunk | The guy was being a jackass and was asking for it. Simple as that. | |||
| Mar 27th, 2006 05:21 PM | ||||
| Rez |
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i understand the vinth and kulturkampf ones, because they are great behemoths of self-absorbed, incredulous, and wholly inadvertant comedy. they transcend gnats like Abc when they admit they let dogs lick peanut butter off their dick while extolling the virtues of objective values, or when some incoherent complain hurricane has a website called catholicsamurai. they are special. perspectives like theirs need to be treasured and appreciated. this is like picking on belligerent 6 year olds, though. |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 05:19 PM | ||||
| Girl Drink Drunk |
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| Mar 27th, 2006 05:16 PM | ||||
| Rez |
what is the goddamn point, here? abracadabra is clearly floundering and responding in irritation, but max is also in total jerk mode because he's not interested in what he has to say, he just wants to irritate him some more. slow day? Quote:
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| Mar 27th, 2006 05:12 PM | ||||
| Girl Drink Drunk | Max, as awesome as you are and as entertaining as it is to tear this guy a metaphorical asshole, I don't think this guy is worth your time, man. Just my two cents. By the way, I hate to sound like an ass-kisser, but your Halloween costume quiz was one of the funniest things I've ever read. Good times. | |||
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