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Topic Review (Newest First)
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| Sep 24th, 2003 12:42 AM | |
| kahljorn | was that back when the Omish ran the country? |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 03:22 PM | |
| mburbank |
Shleppy Feifer-Cohen. Here's a true story. When my Grandfather, Isaac Ash, age 12, arrived at Ellis Island, he was given what he was told was a far more American name. Irving Fagin. |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 03:18 PM | |
| FS | Few people know that Jesus's un-Americanised name is actually Shleppy Pfeiffer. |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 03:13 PM | |
| Spectre X |
HOW ABOUT BRIAN? 
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| Sep 23rd, 2003 03:12 PM | |
| mburbank |
No, those are just the Jewish names you goyishe bastards like and so like bagels you stole them from us. Bastards. |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 03:04 PM | |
| sspadowsky | Something I never thought about was all the folks in the Bible who have English names. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John? Isn't it more likely that they were Moshe, Hershel, Shlomo, and Volf? |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 02:59 PM | |
| mburbank |
I gotta say, I think Coehn is a really good last name for Jesus. It beats the hell out of 'Of Nazareth' or 'Christ'. But I'm pretty sure you are correct that the bible states that Jesus was a Cohenim. |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 02:56 PM | |
| Abcdxxxx |
I think you're under estimating the significance Jews place on their lineage to King David. His shield became the star of david most religious Jews wear, etc. If Jesus was a Rabbinical scholar of some sort he would have had been from the Cohenim tribe. Meaning he came from the exact blood line as every other Rabbi of the time. So it's a given that he was related to King David...and that' without trying to prove how legit the brother's story or any other story in the New Testament was. It's also the only sure historical way to trace Jesus back to King David without having to somewhat believe in Christianity or even Judaism itself. I guess it's more fun to backflip your way to an answer then to just walk right up to it... |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 11:11 AM | |
| kahljorn | It says in the first chapter of John I think, but I don't feel like reading the bible right now. |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 09:53 AM | |
| mburbank |
The coffin isn't what I was thinking of, and Abcdsxx, the begats are certainly supposed to be a hell of a lot more significant than Jesus just being Jewish. Surely some biblical scholar here knows wether the begats trace Davids line to Mary or Joseph? |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 09:11 AM | |
| El Blanco | There is no difinitive proof that James was Jesus' brother. That coffin was proven to be from the wrong time period. |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 01:22 AM | |
| Perndog | She was a virgin when Jesus was born, then she and Joseph had children (at least one, James) afterward. |
| Sep 23rd, 2003 01:17 AM | |
| Sir Douglas Chapwire | If Jesus had brothers (and presumably they weren't divine) then Mary wasn't a virgin after all. |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 10:24 PM | |
| Perndog |
Biblical lineage relates everyone to each other, since everyone came from Adam and Eve. That's right, we're all distant relatives of this guy: 
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| Sep 22nd, 2003 10:19 PM | |
| kahljorn |
That kind of logic would relate me to you in some way, and that would be horrible. Like I said, it traces the lineage..." David and his whore begat Saul, and saul begat some other fegat" |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 07:09 PM | |
| Abcdxxxx | Jesus was a descendant of David because he was a Jew. |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 06:43 PM | |
| kahljorn | Dont forget that the Queen of Britain and shit are all decendents of Jesus. So is President bush by all standards. Hell, they are probably more Jesus than Jesus was. |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 11:41 AM | |
| kellychaos | But doesn't it follow the prerquisites of the classic greek hero mythology that Jesus be born poor, have to overcome trajedies, go on quests and all that, n'est-ce pas? |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 10:17 AM | |
| mburbank | Jesus had brothers. Interesting, though. I always assumed (without really thinking about it) that Jesus was related to David via Mary. First, because she's his blood relative, and second, becuase Jews trace their lineage through Matralineal lines. |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 10:10 AM | |
| Zhukov | Do you think Joe was married to Mary all those years without even rooting her once? |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 09:50 AM | |
| El Blanco | Joseph was part of David's bloodline. Jesus, being Joseph's "adopted" son, was part of the House of David. While not a direct blood relative, He still had claim to royal heratage. |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 09:39 AM | |
| Spectre X |
FS, your avatar makes that so much funnier
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| Sep 22nd, 2003 05:20 AM | |
| FS | In Regurgitations 4:12 it's all explained. God gave Joseph the Divine Handjob, then He entered Mary while she wasn't looking. |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 01:57 AM | |
| kahljorn | The first chapter of John clearly states Jesus is Joseph and Mary's child, who are decendent of david. It recites the entire lineage. |
| Sep 22nd, 2003 01:36 AM | |
| Sir Douglas Chapwire | Since Joseph obviously didn't conceive Jesus, does that mean that Mary had a baby (Jesus) implanted in her outside of wedlock? She's a sinner! But wait, maybe Joseph and Mary weren't married...but that means they were living together IN SIN! She's a sinner! |
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