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Topic Review (Newest First)
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| Oct 19th, 2003 09:56 PM | ||
| The Retro Kat | Anarchy? What the fuck is wrong with you? You anus should be obliterated by a giant anal bead. You suck at life. | |
| Oct 19th, 2003 07:07 PM | ||
| DJ Potatoe | POSaleasman had the best idea by far, but he forgot the ever important: fill his cd player with John Denver....that'll really add some kick! | |
| Oct 19th, 2003 02:52 PM | ||
| Spectre X |
You should die. Not because of your opinions, but just 'cause. |
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| Oct 19th, 2003 02:45 PM | ||
| Anonymous |
Re: I scare people Quote:
If you voted for any of those dumbasses you should be shot. Anarchy, guns and violence rule. |
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| Oct 16th, 2003 10:20 PM | ||
| The Retro Kat |
You're a satanist? God you suck. (There's a joke in there, if you can find it) |
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| Oct 16th, 2003 10:09 PM | ||
| Perndog |
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. Particularly the "careful what you wish for" ones...  Quote:
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| Oct 16th, 2003 08:10 PM | ||
| Drev |
the salesman made me lol 
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| Oct 16th, 2003 07:53 PM | ||
| pissed off salesman | Fill his closet (or wherever he keeps his personal stuff) full of gay porn. Then spray elmers glue allover his undergarments, and pants. Finally get some pictures of george dubya and add monsterously large genitilia to them, and throw them on his bed. The final step is to invite his friends over, and enjoy. | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 07:25 PM | ||
| Big Papa Goat | Don't you go to a christian college? And aren't you a satanist? Shouldn't you expect friction? | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 05:25 PM | ||
| Evil Robot | If you want, you can give me the phone number to your dorm room so I can make repeted harrasing phone calls to your roomate. Lets see what happens when a "doctor" calls up and tells him is mother has died in a car accident. | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 05:20 PM | ||
| Anonymous |
Quote:
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| Oct 16th, 2003 04:05 PM | ||
| Bennett |
When his friends are over reply to nearly everything that each one says... even if you have nothing interesting or amusing to add, actually especially if you have nothing to add. then get an accomplice to say "no." after everything you say. everyone will hate you, and you will have so much time to yourself that you'll start hanging out with them and driving them insane by behaving such, "just for fun." |
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| Oct 16th, 2003 04:01 PM | ||
| kellychaos | Order lots of porn sex on TV and invite him to watch with you while staring lustfully into his eyes ... you may even find one with "Bush" in the title. Two birds with one stone. :shrug | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 01:14 PM | ||
| Ninjavenom | Mail Call rules :o | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 01:05 PM | ||
| Anonymous | Start watching more TV, but only watch the History and Discovery Channels. If your roommate tries to speak up, just tell him to be quiet and watch the hour long program about deep sea detectives. | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 12:44 PM | ||
| DJ Potatoe | I'm still a firm believer in Clinton being awesome. | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 12:03 PM | ||
| Vibecrewangel |
Yo Next time you start getting the lecture, turn on the TV and start watching some really vapid show. I suggest Joe Millionaire. When asked if you are listening say "SSSssssshhhhhh TV" and gesture to the screen with the remote. Be sure to lean forward and stare intently at the screen as if this were the most facinating thing ever. I'm a firm believer in giving some people EXACTLY what they ask for. :evilsmile |
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| Oct 16th, 2003 09:16 AM | ||
| Spectre X | Act like he wants you to, only really overdone. Like when he's talking to his friends, you should suddenly start shouting about how 'friends' was last night etc. and start jumping around and shaking everybody up and yelling about how awesome Bush is in their ears. | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 06:49 AM | ||
| glowbelly | invite your friends over for a quiet reading party where you ignore everyone including yourselves. | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 06:17 AM | ||
| FS |
Next time his friends come over, first act real cheerful, social-like and hospitable. Then maybe while you're laughing at their jokes, suddenly fall to the floor and pretend you're having a seizure. If possible, have something liquid black in your mouth and slowly drool it onto the floor as you're flailing about. Your roommate will think it's all his fault for making you act nice. |
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| Oct 16th, 2003 03:03 AM | ||
| Drev | Pretend he's an Iraqui and make him listen to Metallica/Barney. I fthat doesn't work, see if you can rent a bear that is trained to rape people. I don't need to explain the latter steps. | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 02:48 AM | ||
| Anonymous | Wow, that sounds more fun than skull fucking a one eyed midget clown, while flying an airplane into a building. | |
| Oct 16th, 2003 02:31 AM | ||
| Mike |
I dreamt about doing this to one of my professors one night. Maybe it'll give you some ideas: Break a glass bottle and holding onto the neck of the bottle, screw it into his back repeatedly while dousing him in salt. Take two airhorns and let them loose directly over both his ears. If his eardrums haven't popped, take em out with chopsticks. Cut his eyelids off so that he can't close his eyes and the eyeballs dry out. Kick him down a long flight of stairs and when he hits the bottom slice off the top of his skull and piss on his brain. If he's still alive force thumb tacks into his skin until he begs you to kill him. Then cut off his arms and legs and leave him right next to some train tracks (but not on them, that way he'll have to wiggle onto them if he wants to commit suicide). Check on him the next day and if he's still not dead, cut him open and extract his stomach and some intestines. Take these various organs, tie them around his neck and fed-ex him to George Bush as a little congratulations-on-being-a-total-fucktard present. Everything except for the GWB present idea was in an actual dream of mine. I scare myself. |
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| Oct 16th, 2003 02:27 AM | ||
| DJ Potatoe |
If that doesn't work, you can always refer to Image A: The "Snapping Eel Back-handed Strike Lock" for better precision in room-mate hatred-osity. But if that doesn't work....just talk about the president needing a good weapon of mass destruction shoved up his butthole....then we can reinstate Clinton (God, he was great). |
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| Oct 16th, 2003 02:08 AM | ||
| Anonymous |
Kicking your fucktard roomate in the teeth would be be too kind. Try this instead: Kick him repeatedly in the balls until he bleeds from his urethra, then shove saxaphone reeds under his fingernails. That should solve your problem. |
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