Features

The One and Only... · #1

Is it really possible to find a fucking amazing, awesome friend in the opposite sex, but for it just to remain a friendship? I've never experienced this kinda thing; I've never walked around town for 3 hours with a girl and not have it be because there is something else there. It FEELS like there should be, but I just don't think it's gonna happen. By the same token, I've never had a girl come to dinner with me just to talk while I ate and have it only be because we're friends.

It's just very new to me. She knows that I'm attracted to her, but she doesn't want any kind of romantic involvement - friends-with-benefits included - in her life right now, though she doesn't seem bothered by how I feel. I'm fine just staying friends, but how can I avoid pissing her off? Will she get angry if I start seeing other girls?

ziggytrix · #2

There will always be sexual tension, even if it's uni-directional between heterosexual friends of opposite genders.

It is a mark of maturity though, if not every person of the opposite gender you meet is a candidate for screwing.

If you start ignoring this firend totally, now that you knoow she isn't romantically interested in you, it will piss her off.

The One and Only... · #3

I'm not going to ignore her - hell, I can see us being best friends. There's just a lot I can relate with her that I can't with other people. And while I'm not marking off the relationship changing in the future, I'm not waiting for/expecting it to... she just doesn't want that kinda thing right now.

Chojin · #4

You're so cute.

derrida · #5

How am I supposed to read this post? Are you honestly asking a question or is this like sharing information about your penis and the stupid jokes you make that no one likes?

It could be that you aren't showing it, but the fact that you seem to be more concerned with whether you are going to bed this chick than stoked that you hooked up with a kindred spirit is downright creepy.

Perhaps you are autistic/Asperger's? If you are, don't look for advice on the internet. Most normal people can tell if there is some kind of physical or emotional attraction between two people. Also, what does romance have to do with fuck-buddies unless it's some kind of weird pretend thing that two lonely, broken people do to get off?

Why do you care if she gets hurt by you going elsewhere to dip your stick? She's a big girl, she'll know that any pain she experiences is self inflicted due to her lack of honesty. Are you supposed to put your shit on hold until she decides upon something? What are you, some kinda collectivist?

Are three-hour perambulations something you could find yourself doing with a male friend (whom you don't want to scrape)? Maybe she just digs your politics, intellect or personality. Maybe she just wants to make a dress out of your skin.

The One and Only... · #6

It's definitely not the politics. She's a left-winger. Note that my politics have less bearing on my real life actions than you seem to think, though. I don't completely disregard all other peoples' feelings.

I suppose I could go on a three-hour perambulation with a male friend, but somehow it seems distasteful and boring. Of course, there's something about her that I've clicked to more than I have with many other friends, for lack of a better word. There is one male exception, but I think it's pretty clear that's in no way sexual.

Frankly, I do think there's a mutual attraction there, but I still don't think we're going to "get physical"... at least for a while. I'm sure as hell not gonna make an ass out of myself and ruin everything by going ANSWER THE QUESTION in typical OAO fashion. But I'm not really too concerned about getting ass from her. I'm more concerned that if I get ass from somewhere else I'll make her mad.