Someone please sticky this.
So I was engaging in friendly banter in a cybersex chatroom, when I made a startling revelation.
Dennis Quaid is a lava monster.
See, someone brought up the fact that Dennis Quaid walks around freely in The Day After Tomorrow, when people are freezing within moments due to it being so cold. And I got to thinking... and laval monster came to mind.
Think about it. Then look at this comparison;
Now, you may think I'm fooling you here, but one of these faces is of Dennis Quaid, while the other is your typical run-of-the-mill lava monster. Can't tell which is which? Don't worry, you're not the only one.
On top of which, every movie Dennis Quaid has been in related to fire or allows him to use his lava monster powers. This reached a dangerous peak in 1993, when a little movie called Wilder Napalm came out. In this movie, Quaid "plays" a pyrokinetic, who creates fire with his mind. WITH HIS MIND.
But just look at his film history.
Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill - What does a grill use to cook things? Fire.
Great Balls of Fire! - It's right there in the title.
Dragonheart - Dragons breathe fire.
The Parent Trap - The remake, that is. Where Lindsay Lohan played the twin girls. With red hair. FIRE-red hair.
The Rookie - Dennis Quaid's character uses the powers of fire to make it to the major leagues.
Flight of the Phoenix - A phoenix is a flaming bird.
It goes on like this. Why would one man have such a fascination with fire? Because he's not a man. He's a lava monster.
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