Features

mburbank · #1

They edited and added to it in ways I would not have, but they bylined me and are paying me, so GOD BLESS THOSE PEOPLE!!

You can read it here:

http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=1756

arg_zombies · #2

Or maybe she was just spastic.

Lenor · #3

Whats with the american idol theme max?

CRACKED.com is comeing to NY, I might just have to take me a little trip to the city!

mburbank · #4

I watch American Idol with my daughters. We LOVE it. It's like candy to us. Sweet, sweet, candy.

What is Cracked.com doing in New York? Do they have, like a live show? This is news to me.

mburbank · #5

Ouch. I just read their version instead of skimming it. It's HAEVILY rewritten, and they added a ton of dirty stuff. A guy who is not my regular editor there worked on it.

I have nothing against dirty stuff, but the crying girl is thirteen friggin' years old. All my jokes were on the absurd side.

Wow. I guess I'm a whore now.

Lenor · #6

Thats cool that you spend time with your daughters.

It's a very funny article, but very true that it's not so for a thirteen year old girl. :/ Whoever edited it, apparently has a dirty sense of humor so to say.

But yeah, apparently a bunch of comedians are coming to NY from the site. Something about sketch comedy I do believe. I'm not exactly sure, it was an ad on the side-bar of the page. Thought it might be interesting. If you hear more about it, let me know if it's a waste of money or what-not.

Max, sometimes that shit happens, your not a whore!

glowbelly · #7

yeah, max! take it from someone who knows!

Supafly345 · #8

Even though this is probably one of the parts that was added, "countless teenage boys who have to watch Sanjaya each week instead of his large breasted sister" makes me ashamed of myself because I am not a teenage boy.

Chojin · #9

What are you gonna do about it, Max? Are you gonna STRIKE? FUGUE?

I HATE being edited ;< They did it to me once at Infendo and I just reverted the changes.

noob3 · #10

SANJAYA GONNA WIN, NOONE GONNA STOP HIM NOT EVEN THIS ARTICLE

(ok i didn't read the article because I am afraid it is going to stop sanjayas reign and i won't let that happen!)

mburbank · #11

I'm not sure whnat I'm going to do quite yet. Usually I'm not so bothered, but they really didn't keep much of my stuff beyond the conept, the illustration and the angry lobster line. It's not something I'd want a potential client to see my byline on.

My biggest problem with it is their link to the urban dictionary. When I first reasd the line about Simon saying he wouldn't give her a "Houdini" and then doing it anyway, I thought it was funny, because I guessed that meant sucker punching her in the stomach. But they have a hot link to the urban dictionary which offers various graphic deffinitions of unpleasant sexual practices.

Now you all know I don't think anything is over the line in comedy, so it's not that I'm shocked or offended.

But the graphic image of Simon having tansgressive sex with a thirteen year old girl just isn't very funny to me. Humor is subjective and all, but it really isn't the kind of joke I'd ever write, and I rely on people who might one day hire me looking for stuff of mine on the internets. I wouldn't hire a guy who wrote that joke. I would totally disrust their sense of humor.

I'm thinking I may ask them to change the by line to "Cracked Staff" and if they don't ant to pay me, okay. The problem though is, I can't afford to piss these guys off.

IT A ETHICALISTIC CONUNDRAMUM!!!

GADZOOKS · #12

Think of it this way, if you tell them to uncredit you because of the added jokes it's like you are returning a gift they thought hard about.

I'm sure Drew Carrey always came in with a bad dirty joke to tell his writing staff to put in the script. Maybe you can bullshit and say people really liked that joke and you are too modest to take credit for that joke.

Chojin · #13

Maybe you could ask them to change it to 'By Max Burbank & the Cracked Staff'? Or go all TECHNO with it and call it 'Max Burbank VS the Cracked Staff'!

Sacks · #14

Honestly when I was reading some of those (Houdini) I thought to myself "Wow, that's pretty crass, and not hilarious enough to warrant it's own existence." It came off like someone had just discovered the term and tried to fit it into something they were involved with as quickly as possible like some kind of shitty game of hot potato. Do you want to be known as the guy who plays shitty hot potato, Max? Or do you want to be the guy who stood up to the man and gave him the big fat novelty finger?

mburbank · #15

Yeah, I gotta say unfuniness wise, that Houdini line and link really ruin the article for me. It's nothing I want my name on. I'll start negotiating.

mburbank · #16

Okay, so my name will be taken off it shortly and in the future they will send a draft before posting anything with significant rewrites.

And as far as I know I'm still getting paid.

Sacks · #17

Excellent work my good man.

Protoclown · #18

Well done, Max. That would bother me too. I don't like being edited either without being told about it beforehand, even if it's a minor thing. Truth be told, Roger edits ALL my articles. All I've ever written for the site for YEARS is "PEAS PEAS PEAS" repeated like 500 times, but that fucker always adds 'subject matter' to it. Which is exactly why I've started pooping on my monitor while the email with my newest piece is still up before I hit the 'send' button. We'll see what he thinks when he opens that email and sees my little 'surprise' waiting for him! Cuz you gotta fight the man, Max. YOU GOTTA FIGHT THE MAN!

Seriously though, I think you did the right thing.

Mockery · #19

Say what's this stench coming from Proto's email... it smells like...

WHY I OUGHTTA!!

peas

arg_zombies · #20

Peas are only good in small amounts - to many and it'd cause a pea revolution, something a lot like animal farm, the peas being the pigs.

God, I can't fight through the continuos replies! As soon as I reply to one thread, MSN says 'e-mail from i-mockery received'!!!