Jesus Christ, Destructoid is terrible

[Grislygus]

Okay, honestly, I love following links to destructoid and seeing their insane gibberish editorials. But have you guys seen this "Talking to Women About Videogame Series" they're doing now?!!!!

If a heterosexual man sees a woman who has lumps of fat on her chest of a particular size and shape, he may feel lust, affection, or even worship for her, leading to all sorts of bizarre behavior. If the same man is driving a car, and the same lumpy-chested woman accidentally hits his car with her car, he may feel an immediate need to permanently destroy the threatening car and/or its driver. Of course, when he jumps out of his car, brain swimming in adrenaline, to accost the other driver, he's going to get pretty confused when he sees those lumps. His mind, initially set on "killing" mode, will suddenly shift to "porking" mode, with some potential for crossover between the two. Oh, the complexity of the human condition! And don't even get me started on what would happen if the woman turns out to have a penis!

This hypothetical scenario reminds me of something I see in a lot of gamers.

Can you imagine actually knowing this person in real life? Further, THEY GAVE THIS GUY MONEY. Every editorial they host is hilarious, but this shit is special and you all need to read them right now

[Fathom Zero]

I like their editorials and their variety of contrasting opinions.

[Grislygus]

I like their editorials and the wide variety of contrasting recreational drugs that inspires them

[Dr. Boogie]

Yeah, that whole series reminds me far too much of the Masculine Feminist from Married with Children. I think they have it around as a counterpoint to when Jim starts calling women Feminazis.

There was another good one a couple days ago where one of the writers asked if you've ever been offended by a video game. His example was when he was playing Space Quest and one of the characters called him a sicko for crossdressing. The majority of the comments were just people calling him a pussy and an idiot.

[Grislygus]

Oh god, I saw that

He wasn't even all "THOSE SONS OF BITCHES" about it, either, it was more like "um, uh, I'm not usually offended but, ah... well you see I was playing Space Quest, and he said 'sicko', and it hurt my feelings? I'm not mad, I swear, it's just hurtful. Have any of you been hurt before"

[Fathom Zero]

There was a good follow up from Sterling about that article, today. I dug it a lot, actually.

Their point-counterpoints are mad decent.

[Dr. Boogie]

I read a portion of that article, but I had to tune out when Jim tried to present himself as some sort of reformed courter of controversy. I used to like his stuff a lot, but then it just started to seem more and more like he simply says things to stir shit up. He used to take shots at PC gamers in nearly every PC-related article he wrote up (my favorite was when he said he didn't like mouse aim because it felt like "cheating"), then he wrote up some incredibly ass-kissing article to try and smooth things over while claiming that he always respected PC gaming.

I mean, come on. I could barely stand to read a page about some gamer expressing moral outrage over nothing. How the hell am I supposed to sit through five pages of defense of the moral outrage over nothing?

[Fathom Zero]

I guess I'm just more apt to read stuff like that.

That and I can't stomach reading Gizmodo or Kotaku anymore.

[k0k0]

I read kotaku daily. It's pretty much the only thing like that I read other than the avclub.

[Dr. Boogie]

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero

I guess I'm just more apt to read stuff like that.

Well quit reading crap. It'll poison your mind.

[Grislygus]

isn't Kotaku the one that employed the nerdy writer stationed in Japan who got dumped by his Japanese girlfriend and wrote a gigantic sobstory manifesto about how Japan wasn't the magical perfect dreamland that he wanted and all the used NES games were stained yellow by cigarette smoke

I will admit that was funnier that anything I've seen on Destructoid

[Dr. Boogie]

Then you missed the one "not-review" where one of the writers wrote an entire review explaining why he couldn't write a review of Metro 2033.

Spoilers!

He was an idiot.

[Grislygus]

Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie

Then you missed the one "not-review" where one of the writers wrote an entire review explaining why he couldn't write a review of Metro 2033.

I just looked that up. I assume that he similarly refused to review Dead Rising after the first boss ate his bullets like candy

[Zhukov]

The only reviewer I trust is Charlie Brooker.

[Fathom Zero]

Kotaku is the TruTV of the internet.

Also, I have an irrational favoritism for incendiary people, regardless of how informed or well-thought their argument is. That's probably the main reason why I just go to Destructoid for mah games stuff. That and their tastes usually fall in line with mine, as far as reviews go.

[Dr. Boogie]

The only critic I trust is Yahtzee, although I thought he was way off on the Witcher (well, mostly off).

[Nick]

How the fuck is that relevant to gamers? It sounds more relevant TO HIM rather than anyone who plays a video game.

[Fathom Zero]

Originally Posted by Nick

How the fuck is that relevant to gamers? It sounds more relevant TO HIM rather than anyone who plays a video game.

That's the point of an editorial, I thought - that it is an opinion article, maybe opening up a topic to get some discussion started, or further one.

[Dr. Boogie]

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero

That's the point of an editorial, I thought - that it is an opinion article, maybe opening up a topic to get some discussion started, or further one.

It might have been that, if he hadn't opened the article with such a terrible example. And even if it didn't, this was an article being directed at people who were willing to consider the "No Russian" scene from Modern Warfare 2 to be something other than a shameful ploy for attention. At best, the discussion would have been a handful of people being offended by stupid crap, and everyone else making fun of them.

[Fathom Zero]

Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie

The only critic I trust is Yahtzee, although I thought he was way off on the Witcher (well, mostly off).

He tore it to shreds, as per usual? Yeah, I can get behind him, too, but he's harsher than I am on a few things.

I've been replaying the Witcher, too, and I like it a lot more now than I did when it came out. As I recall, I think I started the first thread here about it and how excited I was for it, because it looked and sounded amazing. How easily we are let down. That's another topic, though.

I really want to defend them, and games journos in general, but I always feel like a flag-waving douche. I can't say "let's agree to disagree" either, because that feels like a such a cop-out.

[Fathom Zero]

I never said that it ever achieves what is intended. I can't and wouldn't deny any of that. The internet's the biggest bullhorn of stupidity yet invented, both on the part of people having opinions and people having opinions about opinions.

Blogs leave a bad taste in my mouth.

[Nick]

I was referring to how the first post made everyone who played a video game seem like they've never met a female before. It sounded more like the writer's first hand experience than the general public's. It was horrible.

[k0k0]

I'm never read it, but am going to guess it goes something like this:

I like breasts. Do you like breasts? Those lumps of fat that hang off a woman that feel kind of like sacks of fish chum and are such a wonder to behold in internet videos. Well I must tell you, video gamers like me love women. I see them every day and when they talk to me, it's like hearing a bird scream in my ear (in a good way). One day a girl was telling me about how she likes to go shopping. Girls love shoes. But they don't like video games. Too bad video games are good and girls are good. I can't choose between them. I think I choose video games.
- Article by Some Guy

[Evil Robot II]

The article was probably crafted to contain the most amount of keywords and highly searched things. Most articles are, they dont even need to make sense as long as you click on the viagra ad.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Jim Sterling is a mole on the cock of the game community. The fact that such a blatant troll can make a living by sitting at his computer all day linking to other websites and acting like an asshole legitimately upsets me. Any good staff Destructoid's ever had has gone on to better things. Including their web designers, because that site's a clusterfuck.

Kotaku is equally stupid for writing articles on Inauguration Day about what Obama means for videogames and shit.