GadzooksBible- Day 2:7/14/04 (Avatar!)

[GADZOOKS]

Welcome to the GadzooksBible, you may mistaken it for a internet journal like the ones Dress Me Up Buttercup Pub or I Can't Update For Shit Milhouse. But journals and diaries are for nerds, goths, the retard charlie gordon, emos, and doug funnie. This is a bible which means not only you should follow it, but preach it on the streets as it were your own. But you can't say it's your own, that's a sin, and that will get you a ticket to my hell (which includes a mountain of sourkraut and episodes of daria played backwards I KID YOU NOT)

[GADZOOKS]

I know you people are fat lazy turds so i sperated today's entry from the introduction so you and regain your breath, take a nap, before you went on.


Most stories begin at birth or some silly shit like that, unfortunately I can't remember anything from my childhood except i one had a garage sale when i was young. A bird took a shit on me and a bee stung my thumb and I thought I was going to die like macauly Caulkin in My Girl (one of the unintentionally funniest movies ever"

[center:43784fe2af] HE CAN'T SEE WITHOUT HIS GLASSES [/center:43784fe2af]

Well besides that memory, I remember the begging of the computer age. My parents got this bulky peice of shit with a blue screen and floppies bigger than most of you computer nerd's penises. We had a couple games, most of them put atari and intellivison to fucking suicidal shame. There was ghostbusters, where the final boss of the game was the Stay-Puff Marshmellowman and the holing thing you had to do his run across the screen before he foot fell on you and VOLA, you won.

Anyway, it wasn't a while longer till Windows showed up and we got Windows 3.1 at home. It had newer games such as Virtual surgeon which basic stragedy went like this.

Does it Hurt HERE

NO

Does it HURT HERE?
nope

DOES IT HURT HERE?

NO!

Prescribe Medication

(Paitent with cover over head a a toe tag, the flatline plays TAPS)

Well anyway, another product that came out where fax machines. At let me tell you, this thing DAZZELED ME, When i first saw it I thought the paper goes into the machine and travels to the other machine going miles and miles away to a far off island and transfered back to your friend, all through this little wire. Then I found out it just reads the information from the paper and sends it to there other machine. What a lousy peice of shit, and i can't tell you how many times i tried to talk to my friends on the fucking phone then hearing "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-ERRRRRRRRR-AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" coming through his end. That freak me out more than the one time I was talking to my dad long distance and someone our lines crossed and i was suddenly talking to a girl who told me "I Can't Study With" you and my common response was " Study what, dad"

A year or two later the internet showed up at my door with AOL. With a fightening simiar screech as the fax. It connected me to what i thought was the rest of the world but was really more a gray background with a couple windows on news and a dickhead informing me about shit. I like how when I was downloading something the guy said "All Done" like when a retarded child says when he finishes coloring in a Jungle Book coloring book making Baloo bright red and drawing a smiley face on the sun in the background.

[center:43784fe2af]
ALL DONE![/center:43784fe2af]

Anyway, I'm still kinda pissed about that fax thing, I'm going to end it here.

THE MORAL: DON'T COPY, DON'T COPY THAT FLOPPY

Go in Peace, or Pieces



-Mark Riddles

[Jixby Phillips]

TODAY WAS QUITE POSSIBLY THE BIGGEST DAY THAT A BIG GUY LIKE MYSELF OCULD HAVE... I WAS GOING TO FINALLY HAVE A BABY AND I'M A MAN

IT ALL STARTED WHEN I WAS AT AN ALLY OU CAN EAT AND *SOMEBODY* PUT OUT A GARBAGE PAIL FULL OF SPERM BEING A CURIOUS BUSYBOY BODY I DECIDED TO GIVE IT A SNIFF. IT SMELLED DELICIOUS... LIKE SOMETHING IC OULD ONLY HAVE DREAMED TO EXIST THAT WOULD SMELL SO GOOD! THIS WAS A PAGE OUT OF A FANTASY THAT WAS WRITTEN BY SOMEBDOY ELSE WHILE I DICTATED (I CAN'T TYPE IN FACT I'M DICTATING THIS TO SOMEBODY WHOS TYPING THIS TO ME). WELL ONE THING LEAD TO ANTHER AND I ALSO GOT A PUSSY IN MY STOMACH FROM A MISTAKE THAT HAPPENED DURRING SURGERY , AND I ATE ALL THE SPERM.

FLASH TOO 9 MONTHS LATER... YESTERDAY FOR YOU AND ME< DIARY, AND I AM NOW IN THE HOSPITAL USING UP THEIR INTERNET TO TELL YOU DAIRY GOERS THAT I AM FINALLY GOING TO BE A FATHER. I'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW THIS ALL TURNS UP... I GOT AN ULTRA SOUND BUT I DID NOT LOOK AT IT BECAUSE I WANT TO TAKE IT OUT AFTER I SEE MY BABY AND SAY "IS THIS YOUR CARD." LOL. SLEEP WELL AND TOMMOROW I MIGHT HAVE A BABY ON MY HANDS

UPDATE: (JANURAY 31) THE BABY CAME OUT AND HE'S HEALTHY AS EVER AND JHAPPY TO BE HOME!

[GADZOOKS]

Did you ever look a Austalian in the eyes...


and told it you loved him?

[Pub Lover]

Hey you two, this thread sucks so much shit.

[GADZOOKS]

Welcome to GadzooksBible, PubeLover!

Please fell free to roam

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by GADZOOKS

...PubeLover...

That's funny because my full name is PubicPubLover.


Oh no, wait... STFU GADZOOKS!

[Matt Harty]

OH SHIT

[GADZOOKS]

You two are the simon and garfunkle of hilarity.

[Pub Lover]

I like Simon and Garfunkle.

[GADZOOKS]

Did i say it was a bad thing, dumbass.

[Matt Harty]

OOOOH HE GETS ANGRY PUB

[GADZOOKS]

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by GADZOOKS

Did i say it was a bad thing, dumbass.

Indeed you didn't, but as I consider the shit I've spouted tonight (& most nights) to be utter shit, well... I percieved it as an insult.

[GADZOOKS]

Did I hear you right, did I hear you sayin'
That you're gonna make a copy of a game without payin'?
Come on, guys, I thought you knew better don't copy that floppy!
[Don't don't don't don't...]

(Wait a minute. Who are you, anyway?
Yeah. And what are you doing on my computer?)

I'm your MC Double Def DP
That's the Disk Protector for you and the posse
That's your artists, writers, designers and pro-grammers
They pump up the images for games and gramma's that lets you learn, but also play
The games you came here for today
Now I know you love the game and that's alright to do
Because the posse who make them, they love them too
But if you start stealing, there's no more they can do

(But I just wanted to make one copy!)

You say 'I'll just make a copy, for me and a friend'
Then he'll make one and she'll make one and where will it end?
One leads to another then ten, then more,
And no one buys anything from the store
So no one gets paid and they can't make more
The posse breaks up and they close the door
Don't copy! Don't copy that floppy!

So let me break this down for you
D-D-Do-Do-Don't

No Carmen Sandiego, no more Oregon Trail
Tetris and the others, they're all gonna fail
Not because we want it but because you're just takin' it
Dis-res-pec-tin' all the folks who are ma-kin' it
The more you take, the less there will be
The disks become fewer, the games fall away
The screen starts to tweak, and then it will fade
Programs fall through a black hole in space
The computer world becomes bleak and stark
Loses its life and the screen goes dark

(SCREEN GOES BLACK)
[Welcome to the end of the computer age... mwahahahaha..]

But I'm much too strong and you're much too smart
To let that happen to your chances to explore
Parts of the new age just behind the door of your minds
You're the posse of the future and you hold in your brains what's never thought before
And in time, you'll see just so much more
That's why I'm here and that's what I'm fighting for
Don't copy! Don't copy that floppy!

Now let me introduce you, to some of the teams
That will explain a little more about what I mean!

[D-D-Do-Do-Don't...Don't copy that floppy!]

(Bunch of nerds talk about neverwinter nights and copyright laws)

You see, on these disks we have frozen in time
The creativity of someone's mind
Do you think, that because, with a flick of a key
You can copy that game, that the work is free
This creativity, we protect it by law
We value so highly, what the mind's eye saw
Don't copy! Don't copy that floppy!

[D-D-Do-Do-Don't...Don't copy.. Don't copy that floppy!]

To do the right thing, it's really simple for you
The copyright law, it will tell you what to do
Buy one, for every computer you use
Anything else is like going to the store
Taking the disk, and walking out the door
It's called thiefin', stealin', taking what's not yours
Is that really where you want your life to go?
Think about it, I don't think so.
Don't copy! Don't copy that floppy!

Now you see a game you like and you really want to try it
Don't copy that floppy, just go to the store and buy it
Think of it this way, okay?
When you're buy a disk, you're sayin' to the team
You respect what you do and what you're workin' for
We'll keep up our support so you can make up some more
We'll do the right thing and the future will be clear
There will be new programs here at the end
Don't copy! Don't copy that floppy!

Now you know how the games and the programs are made
And what you do to make sure that they're not gonna fade
The bottom line is it's all up to you
There's nothing more that I can do
The goals in your court, dribble, shoot, or pass
I'm sure you'll make your decision with class
[Don't copy that floppy]

See ya, I'm outta here


-Mark Riddles

Double Def Dp today

[butler]

Gadzooks can freestyle like a chipmunk on cocaine! Damn!

[Matt Harty]

I AGREE