Features

Shut Up · #1

Everytime I see someone with a beard I'm like, "FUCK OFF YOU BEARDED FUCK! TAKE YOUR FUCKING CRUSTY FACE-HAIR WITH YOU, BEARDO." I'm a beard racist. I lynch people with beards and I tell anti-beard jokes all the time. And why not? Beards are hairy, they smell bad, and they spread AIDS. It's like someone decided to fucking grow a shag carpet on and around their jawline. AND I DON'T LIKE THAT.

The Devil, Jerry Garcia, and Osama Bin Laden all had beards and now they're either in caves, in hell, or dead. Maybe all three. And you know what? Each one of those scum-sucking scruffy-necked bastards deserved it!

And people without beards, oh good god FUCKCAKES they piss me off more! They think they're the shit because their skin is all smooth and pink and moist, like a fucking Keebler elf or something. They walk around and rub their hairless chins and cheeks all the time and go, 'Wow I take a razor accross my face and throat in the morning everyday so I can repeat the process again tomorrow!" By the god damn way, I hate Keebler elves too, and if I ever see a Keebler elf with a beard, I'm curb stomping it and throwing it in an orphan's soup, a bearded orphan.

One more thing. You know the bearded lady? I HATE THAT BITCH TOO. EVEN IF SHE SHAVED HER BEARD I'D STILL HATE HER BECAUSE OF HER NAME. DUMB CUNT.

FUCK OFF.

Protoclown · #2

I

this newbie!

GnrySgtHartman · #3

You would be an EXCELLENT therapist my friend.

Les Waste · #4

HE SURE SHOWED ME

I'LL NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN

James · #5

Actually, Satan (as depicted in historical images) had a goatee, which doesn't really count as a beard. You know who did have a beard? Jesus. You know who didn't have a beard? Hitler.

Systemz · #6

Regular facial hair's just for assholes.

Here's something worth discriminating against:

I'd fill his nostrils with honey and spray the bees with crystal meth.

Keebler Elf · #7

YOU SIT THE HELL DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE BITCH

YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG ELF. NOONE MESSES WITH THE KEEBLER CREW AND LEAVES WITHOUT A MASSIVE DISH OF OLD SCHOOL CHOCOLATE DIPPED CARMEL COATED ASS BEATING!

Hentai Tentacle Demon · #8

STFU ****** CHOCOLATE FACE

Rez · #9

Quote:

Originally Posted by Protoclown

I

this newbie!

me too

Shut Up · #10

I am glad we are all in agreement that beards are evil. At first, I was afraid some pro-bearders would come on and say, 'Hey, beards ain't that bad. Here, have a pro-beard pamphlet.' but now I see you all are far too advanced to fall for such bearded ploys in the first place. I am glad I made the decision to post here and not the 'Abortions and Jelly Baby Sandwhiches' forum.

FS · #11

If you're suggesting that Abe Lincoln's a fag you better step outside with me right now.

slavemason · #12

I suspect that the Jamesman is some sort of professor. He's so fucking smart. I bet he has an awesome beard with Roo pockets that don't hurt your feet.

James · #13

RAPE

slavemason · #14

PEAR :/

unclehobart · #15

I've got a beard, you pre-pubescent pimple factories!

..not because I like them, mind you... I'm just really hate shaving.

whoreable · #16

YOU DONT HAVE A BEARD....

THE BEARD HAS YOU 8-)
________
FISTING VIDEOS

unclehobart · #17

I can agree with that. It's taken over my life more than japanimation or black booty porn. It slaps me around and calls me ugly when I don't have dinner on the table in time.