Prime target for mockery: Phatmass

[Sethomas]

So, I thought it would be good for me to get my theory some exposure among like-minded individuals, particularly from devout Catholics. So, I joined a community of young Catholics thinking I'd be a welcomed addition. Well, as it turns out, this place was a wasteland of the ultra-conservative Catholic youths. It totally disgusts me, and I consider myself a staunch Catholic myself. So, I think it just needs a dose of mockery!

I can't personally create any characters since my IP is known to them, so you guys will have to have fun with it. Copy and paste into your browser phorum.phatmass.com (if you direct link, they'll trace you back to this page and that would spoil the fun), register a character, and have fun. I think the best thing to do would be to convey yourself as a staunch Catholic who follows all of the bad stereotypes other religions have for us.
Possibilities include:

Deriving magic from relics of saintly dead relatives
Worshiping the saints
Using the Eucharist in wanton rituals
Having wet dreams about the virgin Mary
Taking elaborate orders from the pope
Getting drunk off the blood of Christ
et cetera et cetera

Note that the obvious inclusion of pedophilia will just give yourself away as a hoax and thus would ruin the fun for everyone, so please abstain from that area.

I'm quite sure that making this post is a mortal sin. Oops.