I need a girlfriend.

[Jeff The Ninja]

Ok, heres the thing, I need some good things to do to get girls to notice me. I mean they notice me but only when I fuck up and fall down a few flights of stairs or when my swimming trunks fall off on that goddamn waterslide. I need to get girls to see the sensitive Jeff The Ninja, the one who would fight off a hoard of flesh eating babies to save her from being gummed to death. I want one who likes a little more to her men, namely two big Moobs and one big belly which I imagine could be used as A pillow. I also need someone who can appreciate my special brand of intelligent stupidity and can understand my hatred of American Idol and most of "Pop" culture.

Do any of you have any suggestions for me, is there a line I can use to get any girl I choose. Is it saying too much to show up on her front lawn butt naked with her name Spraypainted on my chest. Any advice.