A Diatribe on OAO

[The One and Only...]

You know what?

Fuck this thread, fuck this forum, and fuck you people.

Maybe I do define myself by adversity. Maybe I do sabotage myself.

That thing with Marissa? I knew I was making it worse.

That thing with the "open" relationship? I knew that might cause damage.

I just turned down a group of friends under the guise that I need to workout, despite the fact that I desperately want the contact.

Do you know why I do this shit? I sure as hell don't. All I know is that I'm one bipolar motherfucker, and in my upcycle I build myself up, and in my down cycle I break down everything I've strived towards in the social realm. All I know is that I'm logically inconsistant with myself, so I choose to analyze other things.

I finally see that it isn't the other people. It's myself. I'm the cause. But it's not the way I act, it's who I am. And there's nothing I can do to change that. If people are going to reject me, there's not much I can do but hold onto my egoism.

So if I'm that guy holding up the fucking globe, guess what? Atlas Shrugged.