From Louisiana:
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		| It is illegal to shoot lasers at police officers. | 
	
 Damn! Time to discard the death ray.
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		| One could land in jail for up to a year for making a false promise. | 
	
 It's a wonder politicians don't fill our jail cells, yuk yuk yuk
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		| Prisoners who hurt themselves could serve an additional two years in jail. | 
	
 Not only do you have to worry about dropping the soap, but you have to make sure not to slip on it, either.
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		| Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault." | 
	
 What about gumming someone?
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		| All garbage must be cooked before it can be fed to any hogs. | 
	
 Because it's important to have standards.
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		| Trying to save the rain forest? Don’t try in New Orleans, because it is illegal to plant a tree in any city park. | 
	
 So don't even try to play in a New Orleans rainforest.
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		| Don’t try to do any kind of fancy bicycle riding in this town. All riders must keep at least one hand on the wheel at all times. | 
	
 So even if New Orleans wasn't a lake, you won't be seeing the X-Games there.
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		| No person may predict another's future. | 
	
 Good thing Miss Cleo was fake. Otherwise she'd have STILL been in trouble.
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		| It is illegal to have sex with a cow. | 
	
 Yeah. Wait until after it's in burger form.
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		| It is illegal to be an alcoholic. | 
	
 Good thing this isn't enforced, otherwise Goodbye Mardi Gras.