The most horrible thing about Episode 3 (SPOILERS)

[Protoclown]

Okay, so we've heard now that Chewbacca is going to be in Episode 3, and we've heard that George Lucas is having the actors grow shaggy, 70s style hair, so that things seem to flow more "believably" into Episode 4.

But worse than either of those is the fact that Chewbacca is going to be delivering the twin babies of Luke and Leia. Yep, Chewbacca is Padme's fucking midwife.

[Rongi]

Well...at least he won't be able to ruin Star Wars anymore

Unless he makes a sequel to Return Of The Jedi

Good god I hope not

[HickMan]

Look how far we got from the 70's! Ol' Georgie had something going on and then... POOF! Gayness! Just like that. Wouldn't Chewie say something to Luke? Or at least say something to Han to tell Luke? Gayness... Pure Gayness.

[Skulhedface]

"The FORCE! Any time some inaccuracy is pointed out, THE FORCE DID IT!" ~ anonymous quote (meaning I forgot the damn source)

[Miss Modular]

Originally Posted by Protoclown

Okay, so we've heard now that Chewbacca is going to be in Episode 3, and we've heard that George Lucas is having the actors grow shaggy, 70s style hair, so that things seem to flow more "believably" into Episode 4.

So Natalie Portman will be sporting a Farrah-'do in Episode 3?

Why don't they wear bouffants instead? I think the continuity would flow better, because I doubt Luke and Leia would be able to age twenty years overnight.

[El Blanco]

As long as Portman's clothing gets progressivly scantier, will it be so bad?



Oh, wait. Chewbacca. Ya. thats gonna suck.

[executioneer]

I thought I heard something about that way before they even started filming Episode 1 :/

-willie

[Zero Signal]

Um, Proto, where did you hear this from? And how much validity does it have?

I found this:

"Stylists have been working on Hayden Christensen's and Ewan MacGregor's locks to give them shaggy 70s-style dos so Episode III blends seamlessly with Episode IV - filmed more than 20 years ago."

on news.com.au, but only two cast members having that done? Who cares? I mean really.

[Protoclown]

I found it on www.theforce.net, under the Episode III Latest News section.

It is of course, suspect, as all the news reports are, but the people who run the website seem to believe it. Comes from an interview with Peter Mayhew, the actor who plays Chewie.

[Zbu Manowar]

I'm thinking of a word....it involves being a lazy writer and somehow making everyone related so you don't have to work on character development by making all of your creations related so any kind of development is implied, not actually created by any effort at all.....anybody know what I'm talking about? It's the same stuff that they used on the X-Men books until they forgot about Days of Future Past. What is it called again?

[AChimp]

Chewie gets to touch Natalie Portman and I don't!!!!!

[Zomboid]

Episodes 1 and 2 sucked so 3 was likely to suck too, but now it's simply confirmed

What I wanna know is, what the fuck is wrong with george lucas? Seriously, he must've lost his fucking mind sometime before episode 1.

[Zero Signal]

Originally Posted by Zomboid

Episodes 1 and 2 sucked so 3 was likely to suck too, but now it's simply confirmed

What I wanna know is, what the fuck is wrong with george lucas? Seriously, he must've lost his fucking mind sometime before episode 1.

You are certainly entitled to your opinion, however, I very much disagree.

[noob3]

The Jedi/Rebellion rule is corny. ANH/ESB rocked because the Empire was in control, towards the end of ROTJ it started to suck with the Ewoks and shit because the Rebellion gained power again.

This is why Episode 1 & 2 suck. Episode 3 will be rated R, man. It will have a sub g-movie like plot with Padme giving birth and shit, but then people will just start exploding.

[Zomboid]

Originally Posted by Zero Signal

You are certainly entitled to your opinion, however, I very much disagree.

You liked episodes 1 and 2?

[crash0814]

Originally Posted by Zbu Manowar

I'm thinking of a word....it involves being a lazy writer and somehow making everyone related so you don't have to work on character development by making all of your creations related so any kind of development is implied, not actually created by any effort at all.....anybody know what I'm talking about? It's the same stuff that they used on the X-Men books until they forgot about Days of Future Past. What is it called again?

Uh...I dunno.

[Ninjavenom]

Let's be fair here, three things made episode one suck: Anakin, Jar-Jar, and the fucking Gungans. I'll let the japanese-accented Viceroy slide. Darth Maul was bad as shit, and i loved his death.

Two was medicore at best. Anakin, once again, ruined the shit out of the movie. Anakin and Padme's romance was far too corny. Maybe Lucas meant it to be that way because they were teenagers. I don't know. They could have gotten someone a little less generic for anakin, though. Christ, the kid looked like he was a fucking plaster-cast of someone just as boring and talentless. And i'm not forgiving Lucas for ruining Boba Fett for me. Ever. He was singlehandedly the coolest alien in Star Wars. Better than the Rancor, better than the Wampa, better than the Saarlacc, even better than that walrus-fella who got his arm chopped off. I forgot his name right now . But anyway, Fett was supposed to be some mysterious, destructive, twisted husk of something, not some rather faggoty aussie kid with curly black locks. I rooted for Fett when he tried to escape the Saarlacc, goddammit! Now i hope he just mysteriously bursts into flames in episode three, and he's WIPED from the trilogy. Thanks a lot george, i guess now i'll have to like Zuckuss . At least Yoda and Sammy kicked some ass. :/

As for 3, i still have hopes for it. In all honestly, i think it might turn out good. Anakin finally gets to be a bad guy again, and hopefully we'll get to see Obi-Wan toss him into some mean-ass acid. Yoda might kick some more ass, and i assume Sam Jackson's gonna die. I hope Billy Dee-Williams makes a cameo. :o

[Zero Signal]

Originally Posted by Ninjavenom

Let's be fair here, three things made episode one suck: Anakin, Jar-Jar, and the fucking Gungans. I'll let the japanese-accented Viceroy slide. Darth Maul was bad as shit, and i loved his death.

Jar-Jar, while a tad annoying, does serve a purpose. Apparently, you were not paying any attention during Episode II, or perhaps you just like to open your mouth and let any nugget of ignorance issue forth.

Originally Posted by Ninjavenom

They could have gotten someone a little less generic for anakin, though. Christ, the kid looked like he was a fucking plaster-cast of someone just as boring and talentless.

Maybe they had you in mind when they cast him.

Originally Posted by Ninjavenom

And i'm not forgiving Lucas for ruining Boba Fett for me. Ever. He was singlehandedly the coolest alien in Star Wars. Better than the Rancor, better than the Wampa, better than the Saarlacc, even better than that walrus-fella who got his arm chopped off. I forgot his name right now . But anyway, Fett was supposed to be some mysterious, destructive, twisted husk of something, not some rather faggoty aussie kid with curly black locks. I rooted for Fett when he tried to escape the Saarlacc, goddammit! Now i hope he just mysteriously bursts into flames in episode three, and he's WIPED from the trilogy. Thanks a lot george, i guess now i'll have to like Zuckuss . At least Yoda and Sammy kicked some ass. :/

What the FUCK are you talking about? Boba Fett is a HUMAN; he always was and not this weird fucked up shit you evidently pulled out of your ass. Humans start as children, remember?

You make it sound like Boba does not even grow up and he is like that throughout the rest of the movies.

[Command Prompt]

I think one day they should take the top ten star wars nerds and the top ten star trek nerds and let them battle to the death inside a steel cage ring with weapons.

If you've ever watched that "Beat the Geeks" game show I think one good look at the Star Wars special guest geek will now settle all past, present and future arguments about star wars.


PS I think that the new episodes really suck. I think the real reason they suck is that the sucky actors in the movie know the movies suck, but they are nobodys that need the money but still can't force themselves to belive that the movie doesn't suck.

George Lucas has obviously become addicted to those cigarettes that are dipped in embalming fluid and is selling out his franchise to get the cash to pay for his habit. Just like T3.

[AChimp]

Episode 1 and Episode 2 both smoke long cocks.

Episode 1 for all the same reasons that have been outlined already, and I especially hate Episode 2 for having made Anakin some pouty faggot.

The CG effects were used WAAAAAAAY too much. What the hell is wrong with Warwick Davies in a Yoda costume? You know they were overdoing it when Padme bites that piece of fruit in midair and the alignment is completely off.

[Zero Signal]

Originally Posted by AChimp

What the hell is wrong with Warwick Davies in a Yoda costume?

He is only 3x Yoda's size, that is all.

[Bennett]

The purpose that Jar-Jar served to advance what was to begin with a shitty plot didn't justify Jar-Jar-Blackface.

I also must agree that Boba Fett was ruined by Episode II. Why did Lucas feel the need to explain everything? It was obvious that a large part of his appeal was the mystery. And the fact that we didn't know that he was human, we didn't know his background, we didn't know exactly how he got his get-up made him even more of a bad-ass. And then when we find out that he's just a clone of his father, who is the original bad-ass... sorry, but I had higher expectations of Boba Fett than to find out he was just a clone, and his whole motivation is the death of his father? Can we find something a little more tired? Yeah, that background info really made Boba Fett seem cool... thanks for filling us in George.

Here's the other major issue I have with over-explaining... the whole metachlorean thing. This completely destroyed the force. The Force, the art of being a Jedi, was always much more mystical and spiritual, than whether or not you had a certain amount of metachloreans in your bloodstream. Go back to ESB, and listen to yoda talk about the force, he says it flows throughout the universe, and even mentions that the force is in a "rock"... how many metachloreans does that rock have.

George Lucas is a no-necked-frog-faced-bitch. I rant no more.

[Zero Signal]

Originally Posted by Bennett

Go back to ESB, and listen to yoda talk about the force, he says it flows throughout the universe, and even mentions that the force is in a "rock"... how many metachloreans does that rock have.

Metacloreans do not exude the Force, the allow one to control it. Is that really so hard for you to understand?

[Bennett]

Is it hard for you to understand that it was much more interesting when it wasn't based around some pseudo-science bullshit? Is it hard for you to understand that by saying that it's metachloreans that allow one to control the force, it turns into something that is inside your blood and not inside your soul. Is it hard for you to understand how episodes I and II are festering piles of shit?

[Zero Signal]

Originally Posted by Bennett

Is it hard for you to understand that it was much more interesting when it wasn't based around some pseudo-science bullshit?

Yeah, I forgot it was science fiction.

Is it hard for you to understand that by saying that it's metachloreans that allow one to control the force, it turns into something that is inside your blood and not inside your soul.

You must have fallen asleep through every single Star Wars movie. It DOES take what is inside of your soul; hence, the Light and Dark sides of the Force. What propagates the ability to actual use the Force is irrelevant compared to the sheer will of determination it takes to wield it effectively.

Is it hard for you to understand how episodes I and II are festering piles of shit?

In your opinion, perhaps.