"The man" won't let me buy a house.

[Evil Robot]

I'm so fucking sick of real estate prices. I make $1,200 a month and there is not one single lender in the whole freaking US of A that will give me a $110,000 mortgage so I don't have to live in my truck. I'm not even asking that much of them, in an area where the average house sells for HALF A MILLION, all I wan't is a 750 square foot shack to keep all my worthless crap in. To top things off, I can't even build a cheap modular house in westchester county because it "brings down the quality of life in the area". I'd like to see those yuppies "quality of life" when I stab them in the neck with a screwdriver. I fucking hate rich people.

[AChimp]

$110K for a garage? Shit, that's way too expensive. You should move to Canada.

[fartymowler]

Can't you buy a condo? Don't listen to Achimp he lives in Winnipeg, nobody wants to live there.

[CaptainBubba]

My mom is a real estate agent and she claims she can get ANYONE a house. She gets awards and stuff but apparently we're still po'.

If they have a William E. Wood place where you live tell me and I could get her to "hook you up", because shell get a referal fee thing and she gets massive boners for those.

My mom is scary when she gets massive boners.

[Evil Robot]

Condos are for gays and retired police officers. I need my space and I hate people, so having neighboors on the other side of a wall is out of the question. Canada would be nice, but I don't think theres much employment up there (aside from herding yaks and dirt farming). I wen't on ebay real estate and it appears that there is a subdivision in Arkansas called "cherokee village" where you can buy a 1/4 acre lot near a "lake" for $120 plus a $170 listing fee. I believe this to be the only place in the world where the closing costs are more then the actual property, but once again, no good jobs down there.

[fartymowler]

Shouldn't it be you will get drunk then run someone down with your pick-up truck? How about one of those mobil home's? or and R.V.?

[AChimp]

I'll have you know Winnipeg is one of the cheapest places in Canada to live.

Anyways, if you can't afford a house, just park your truck outside some rich guy's house and live on his lawn. If you are sneaky enough, you can bathe in his pool.

[Evil Robot]

Mobile homes and RVs are not allowed as permanent residences where I live, neither are trailer parks since rich folk love to complain.
I could just KILL a rich guy and park my truck in his garage. Then I'll live in the house until the stench of rotting dead rich people becomes to great.

[AChimp]

Have you seen Unbreakable? Heh heh heh.

[Geggy]

Originally Posted by Evil Robot

Condos are for gays

I ain't a homo, yo.

Don't be a homophobe, do the smart thing and buy a condo. they make for great investments toward buying a house. I bought my crummy condo for 100 grand and been living there for 3 years. the value already went up 30 thousand more after complete renovation. at times, i've thought about renting the place out at ridiculously high monthly fee and trade in my car for an astrovan for a place to live. my dream is to live in a house, i don't give a fuck if it's tiny or if it's a piece of shit, as long it's got a swimming pool in the backyard. :sunglasses

[fartymowler]

I'll have you know Winnipeg is one of the cheapest places in Canada to live

Wow I wish I lived in teh cheapest place in Canada

[Evil Robot]

While the Astrovans are availible in a wide range of spacious variations, the Chevy fullsize chasis are best choice for people who wish to live like transients.

While the 5.7 litre Triton motor produces more then adequate horse power on the road, the full benifiet of the Sherry conversion can only be appreciated while stationary. Never before has a van been so relaxing to drive carried so many of the amenities we all take for granted.

You people like that shit? I don't even sell things anymore and I can write better ads!

[Evil Robot]

Oh by the way, Capn Crunch, I'd love for your mom to "hook me up", whatever thats a metaphor for. But seriously, I'm looking for a connected real estate broker in New York state. Is she New York and connected? Cause even if she ain't NY she might still legaly be able to middle man me a mortage, and I am boner if she can give me 7% or less on a 30 year. Tell her that, then get back to me.