this 1 goes out to the animal expertson here...neway i hope

[confidential]

wtf i couldnt type it all in the first box guess ill continue it here...neway i hope u dont mind i dont share my name cause this is a pretty embarrasing issue and i dont want this getting around lol...neway my friend well call him jake had this big party at my house and we all had a lot to drink i did like 15 shots of jd in a row...neway i dont remember anything else cept the other day jeff said he didnt wanna tell me cause i was getting over a hangover but that night i started rubbing up against his dog rusty as a joke and then i got dared to take my pants off...neway rusty backed up real quick and it actually went in (it wasnt supposed to!!!) and then i tripped and rusty started coming after me...neway they locked him in the room and he was barking and stuff all night. the problem is whenever i go to jeffs house now we have to lock up rusty to keep him away from me and its freaking me out!! should i tell jeff to just put him down or what...neway i can't decide please help a dude out i cant decide what to do about this...

[ItalianStereotype]

didn't you do the exact same thing a few months ago? if it happens once, shame on you; if it happens twice, you're a dog-fucker.

[sadie]

one needn't fuck a dog twice to be a dog-fucker. once is sufficient.

[Mike]

Right. I can't count how many times my dick just wandered into stuff without me knowing about it.

[Schimid]

THIS THREAD FUELS MY TEENAGE SEX HORMONSES

[Professor Cool]

Why dont you try a working blender next time.

[Perndog]

Can you at least give us your first name? Like at those Dog-Fuckers Anonymous meetings? I think I might have seen you at last week's session.

[BlueOatmeal]

Once you come to grips with your new dog fucking you can branch out and enjoy other animals like cats, horses, pigs, goats, chickens, snakes the list goes on and on. Theres a whole world out there, don't limit yourself to one animal.

And when you get tired of all that try different fetishes like diapers, shitting, pissing, fisting, mutilation, submissin, incest.

Ok enough of that. In all seriousness that has to be a real tramatic problem for you but your gonna to have to just get over it. It can't be fun to know in the back of your mind that your penis has been inside something else than a sweet sweet lady hole. But I don't think you should tel your firend to put down his dog. Maybe you should have praticed a little more good judgement by not taking off your pants. I know you were drunk but when I'm drunk I leave my penis in my pants and away from the rectum of various animals.

But don't worry about it. It'll all go away one day and you'll forget all about it. And if you were going to tell someone I don't think the I-Mockery forums are the best place.

[James]

The only people that should fuck dogs (be it oral, anal, vaginal, jerking off, cum drinking, etc) are hot 14-year-old girls. Same goes for horse and donkey fucking, snake and eel insertion, and dolphine rape.

[jin]

Wouldnt your "member" have to be "excited" to be able to insert into anything?

And after "15 shots of jd" i dont think my anything could be excited enough to go into any PERSONS' anything, so you must really like rubbing against dogs.

Even worse would be making all this up of course as it would mean that the thought was actually in your mind, and that would be even more sick.

[KILLADEUCE]

Damn, G- I'm not really sure to say to ya on this one...

[Mungus the Foon]

go on jerry springer, or even better go to prison.
then any incident with any household pets will take a back seat to the more pressing problem of being ass raped by big dave (your new cell mate).

[Bennett]

Can someone get the Triad Brothers after this clown?

[Jeanette X]

Stop drinking. And if you EVER come near my Airdale/Schnauzer mix terrier, I'll kill you.