OMG THERE ARE 3 THIS TIME!
Newbie #5: General Genitals
This person refuses to look past General Blabber, to see if there is a board specifically for the stupid shit he's about to post. He feels that since General Blabber is for random topics, ANYTHING can be posted here. Then when this newbie is corrected (either kindly or by brutal suggestions of being mauled by mountain goats), he immediately defends his lack of attention span by saying that General Blabber is for anything they want to post.
Usually, a person will only do this once, unless they are an idiot (hint: THEY ARE). So doing this is basically like that time on The Simpsons, where Bart was in the tiger cage, and he opens the door, and tigers are there, and he immediately closes it again. Live and learn, Bart.
If you are a General Genitals, you need to understand the following: GENERAL BLABBER IS NOT FOR EVERY TOPIC. IF IT WAS, WE WOULDN'T HAVE THE OTHER 18 FUCKING BOARDS ON HERE. GB is really just for things that don't have boards specified for them. So for the love of all that is holy, take the extra 10 fucking seconds to at least NOTICE there are other boards, and maybe one of them is more appropriate for you to put you literary brain diarrhea.
Newbie #6: ANNOUNCO
This person feels the need to make a post of two about how they are new, as if the facts that their post count isn't even in double digits yet and that we have never fucking seen them before wasn't a dead giveaway. This person could also be considered an attention whore, sado-masochist, or television evangelist.
Hopefully, this will be only one of few stupid things that this person will do, and they will quickly adapt. But let's face it; if you are compelled to make a thread saying "HI IM NEW LOLOL," there's about as much hope for you as there is of Michael Jackson ever admitting he's as nutty as a very nut-abundant thing, that probably has something to do with small woodland creatures.
If you are this type of newbie, you're fucked. The damage as already been done (unless you're stupid enough to make ANOTHER post like this). The best you can do is spend the rest of your days here making up for this one action. Or maybe just register a new name and start over, NOT making your announcement this time around. Retard.
Newbie #7: Clueless Clark
I hate this guy. A LOT. This is the guy that doesn't "get it." EVER. He was born of a culture that never learned of this thing called "humor," and to a lesser extent (but really a more bigger extent), "sarcasm." If you make a joke by stating something that is meant to be sarcastic (ie saying that Bio-Dome is the best romantic drama of all time), this dipshit will pop up out of nowhere and correct you. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING REATRDED AND THEY WILL NEVER FUCKING GET THAT YOU WERE MAKING A FUCKING JOKE GOD DAMMIT I FUCKING HATE YOU RETARDED PIECES OF SHIT AND I HOPE YOU GET BURIED ALIVE IN A VAT OF BIRD SHIT.
There is NO hope for this son of a bitch, unless they go the fuck away. Then there will be some hope that we can forget about him, and continue with our lives. And if they don't leave, we will make him take a beer bong (not bomb) up his urethra, then set him on fire.