The faces of the kids in the front row when Swiper came out were one of the best things about the show.
One girl was screaming and crying everytime he came onstage.
I used to watch Hey Gabba Gabba, but that wore thin quick.
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...I proved, son, without a shadow of a doubt, you ain't got what it takes anymore! You sit there, and you thump your bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16; Austin 3:16 says, "I just whipped your ass!"
We didn't get cable when I was a kid, so insead of watching children's television, I grew up on b-movies and my neighbor's video tapes of Mystery Science Theater. No child should have to watch Manos.
I just found out my uncle has kidney and possibly lung cancer.
He didn't even smoke and lived a very healthy life.
He's having his kidney removed Thursday and they're going to start chemo as soon as he heals from the surgery.
I hate it too.
Only one person in my family has actually died from it (my biological father, but pneumonia was what truly did him in), but nearly all my family has had it.
Until Uncle Bernie, I was the last person to deal with it.
He had been complaining that his hip hurt and eventually couldn't even sit down. He had to lay down in the backseat of the car. When the doctors looked at it they found that his kidney was grossly enlarged. This was just last week, I'm glad they're at least acting quickly.
Top Ten Ways To Know You Are A Cancer Survivor
10 Your alarm clock goes off at 6 a.m. and you're glad to hear it.
9. Your mother-in-law invites you to lunch and you just say NO.
8. You're back in the family rotation to take out the garbage.
7. When you no longer have an urge to choke the person who says, "all you need to beat cancer is the right attitude."
6. When your dental floss runs out and you buy 1000 yards.
5. When you use your toothbrush to brush your teeth and not comb your hair.
4. You have a chance to buy additional life insurance but you buy a new convertible car instead.
3. Your doctor tells you to lose weight and do something about your cholesterol and you actually listen.
2. When your biggest annual celebration is again your birthday, and not the day you were diagnosed.
1. When you use your Visa card more than your hospital parking pass.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU PUNY LITTLE BASTARD. I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE A MAN OUT OF YA, OBVIOUSLY, BUT COME BY ANY TIME AND I'LL WHIP YOUR SUPPLE LITTLE GIRL BODY INTO A SHAPE